


Assistant

by SquishEJS



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Really really slow burn, Slow Burn, have fun, hhhh, i live for angst so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-07-12 18:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 79,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16000859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquishEJS/pseuds/SquishEJS
Summary: Jack needed a new assistant. You needed to take a walk. Unfortunately for you, you stumbled into the wrong place at the wrong time.--Hi. Welcome to the show. This story is told in first person. The twist is that you, dear reader, are a mute. (Aphonia, is the specific cause). I'll be adding tags as I go so ye. EnjoyUpdates will come as I write them. School keeps me very busy.





	1. Chapter 1

I rolled around in my bed sheets, twisting and turning to ultimately look like a Greek god. I twisted myself around a little more to wiggle out of the toga, kicking it to the end of my bed. With a small sigh I sat up and swung my legs over the side of my bed. I watched as the covers slid off the bed a little, becoming a pool of a light brown. I pushed off the mattress with my hands and went forward to the dresser in my room. I pulled out a light grey hoodie and slipped it on over the t-shirt I’d worn to bed. The sweatpants didn’t matter and I slipped on an old pair of shoes that happened to be next to me. 

I figured a walk would help me get relaxed and a little more tired so I could go to bed already. I’d been a zombie throughout the day and the moment it’s bedtime I can’t sleep. Unbelievable. Atrocious. I exited my small dorm room, closing the door and locking it behind me quietly. I patted my pockets to make sure my phone was still in there, which it was. I turned left and walked down the hallway, stepping quietly to make sure I wasn’t waking up anyone who was fortunate enough to sleep. 

I exited the dorm building on campus and began walking towards the gates of the school property. Taking a walk inside the campus never helped. Seeing the buildings only made me think about what I had coming up and my cluttered schedule and that wasn’t useful for anything. It just got me stressed long before my day would start. So my quiet, peaceful, and soothing walk would start. Down the streets into the quiet city. It was often noisy during the day so the unrelenting silence was captivating. Every once in a while a car would go by but that would be it. There were no other people on these streets though I assumed they were out at bars and clubs at this hour. I’d never understand the appeal of them. 

I was turning onto the next street, a breeze blowing by making me shiver when I heard a low guttural moan. It wasn’t the pleasurable type but like someone was in pain. I was going to ignore it- who knows? Masochism was a thing. Maybe it was that?- but when I heard a muffled scream I looked around for the source of the noise. That didn’t sit well in my stomach. It came again, a little quieter this time and I looked across the street to see a small alleyway. I quickly looked both ways (you can never be too sure) and ran across the street into it. It split off into two directions and I, not waiting for another noise, chose the way on the right. It led to yet another juncture. The placement seemed odd until I remembered that this was where most businesses were located so alleys connecting roads in-between them didn’t seem too out there. Another gasp, this one louder because I assumed I was close led me to go to the left this time.

When I turned left I didn’t know what to expect. Maybe someone with an injury? Perhaps they’d fallen and we’re having trouble getting up. Or maybe it really was someone having sex. But of all the possibilities I never anticipated seeing a man on the ground and a shadow hunched over him. The lack of light made it a bit hard to see but I felt rooted to my spot when I realized that the man’s stomach had been cut open and it was blood covering the ground. The shadow turned around and the man heaved again, breath shaking. I tried not to look at the open wound, instead directing my gaze to the shadow which turned out not to be a shadow after all. It wore a mask with two eye holes darker than the rest of it. I noticed grimly the bloody scalpel it clutched in its hand. 

It stalked towards me and I realized how tall it was. It was at least almost six feet tall. I fumbled for my phone in my pocket and it stopped, watching for what I would do with it. Without thinking I dialed 911. Whoever this guy was, he was going to jail and this man would need help immediately. It also didn’t help that I was hyperventilating. The smell, the sudden stress of the situation, how threatening the attacker looked. The dying man. An operator picked up after a ring.

“911, what’s your emergency?” A female voice said. And then I was made painfully aware of my situation. I couldn’t talk to them. I couldn’t tell them that this man was dying. I couldn’t tell them that I couldn’t move, fear paralysing me as the person took one long stride, plucked the phone out of my hand, and hung up. I swallowed nervously, looking up at them. Upon closer inspection I could now see that the mask was actually blue and there seemed to be something coming from the eye holes. Dark brown hair poked out from underneath a black hood.

“Hello,” the attacker said calmly. Too calmly for someone who had just cut open another’s stomach. The attacker, no,  _ his  _ voice had a slight animalistic undertone to it not too dissimilar from a growl. I tried taking a step back but my legs wouldn’t let me. “What are you doing here?” He asked, head tilting slightly. 

A squelching noise was painfully audible and a low moan followed, sounding pathetically weak. It made me sick to my stomach and I thought about throwing up. 

“You know, it’s rude to ignore someone when they’re talking to you,” the man said flatly, taking another step towards me. Finally my legs responded and I took a step back to keep the distance between us. I tried taking more but again, I was locked in place. “Come on, say something. Scream? You’re the most quiet I’ve ever come across,” he added with a low chuckle that set a new wave of adrenaline pumping through my veins. Was he trying to get caught? The animalistic- no almost  _ demonic- _ undertone really set off high alerts that clearly spelled out that something was not right with this man. 

My legs found use and began backpedaling away but he was in full control of his body and steered me to a wall. My back pressed against cold brick, eliciting another shiver. He leaned in close to me, bringing up the scalpel and toying with it in front of my eyes. 

“Not complaining or anything. It’s really nice to have a quiet one once in a while but damn you didn’t even talk to the police,” he sneered. I had the feeling he was smirking behind that creepy mask. That comment set off more alarms though. Once in a while. He’d done this before. Many times, by the tone of his voice. “Before I kill you,” the man began, pressing the blade to my throat, “I wonder what your pretty screams sound like. They’re all beautiful.” I shivered again but this time it wasn’t because of the cold. 

So I was going to die. It made sense logically. I was a witness. But that didn’t make it any less scary. If anything the realization made it worse. He chuckled again and I could tell it was from the way my facial expression had changed as that set in. 

“Well. Come on. Anything? A single little word?” He said, the scalpel digging into my neck. Any more pressure and I’d start bleeding. He waited as I looked at him, eyes frantic and searching for something though I wasn’t sure exactly what. What could possibly help me right now? He had my phone in one hand and a scalpel in the other. And I was against a wall. Real great planning there. I tried pushing him away but he moved about a centimeter. The blade nudged a little deeper. “Alright.” He shrugged, pushing the weapon in so it began cutting, blood trickling down in a sensation that was almost ticklish. 

Then, once more, my body found use and my hands flew up to motion cutting at my throat as I mouthed the words “Can’t talk.” He paused and stared for a moment until he understood what I meant and began laughing. Real nice guy. I didn’t know why he found this so funny but while he was laughing I tried easing my neck away from the scalpel. I sucked in a breath at the sting it produced once it was fully exposed to the cold air. 

“That’s too bad, really. I was hoping for something other than your pal over there.” 

I stole a quick glance at the man, noticing how quiet he was now. Except… His chest wasn’t moving anymore. Oh god. Oh fucking stars. 

He dug the scalpel back in and wasn’t affected as I tried pushing him away again and again. Without thinking I pushed his arm to the side which worked but in turn left a shallow cut across my neck. I grit my teeth at the pain it brought with it, turning away to try running from this crazy man. After a single step a hand caught my wrist and yanked me backwards, throwing me against the cold brick wall yet again. How could someone be that fast?

“Don’t try running. It’ll just make this whole thing more messy,” he groaned in annoyance before tossing my phone the side. I heard the screen crack. He grabbed both of my wrists to hold in one hand and in retaliation I thrashed around in his hold. He slammed my hands against the brick wall and I gasped from the dull ache. I didn’t want to die. No one does.

I began mouthing “please” over and over again and tried shrinking away from him but there was nowhere to go. He made a lazy cut on my cheek before going back to where it began and repeating the process until it was the size of the cut on my neck. But it was deeper than that one. I was breathing heavily but I didn’t dare move my head for the fear the scalpel would strike elsewhere. A gloved finger pressed on the wound and I winced in response. There really was no way out this. 

He’d kill me here and people would probably disregard the smell as garbage until some poor soul came across our corpses. Coupled with the smell of the other man over on the ground, I actually threw up this time and the hot bile hit the ground not too far from the attacker’s shoe. He was in the process of putting the scalpel back in the cut on my cheek for the umpteenth time before he pulled it out. 

“Hmm…” was all I heard, like he was thinking about how to kill me. He grabbed my jaw and pointed it towards him, inspecting me closely. I had half a mind to spit on the mask but I doubt that’d do me any good so I held back. The eye holes didn’t even look like they had anything beyond them. There was probably mesh or something covering them. “You can’t talk?” 

I nodded quickly. What was he going to do? 

“Well… I do need a new assistant. Last one lasted for a few months before he got too mouthy,” he chuckled. Well that wasn’t ominous. Not at all. “That shouldn’t be a problem if you can’t talk. Besides, it would be perfect so I can try out some things on you without the shrill screaming. Oh, and don’t think you have a say in this,” he said. I could feel my stomach drop and I wanted to throw up again. He snorted behind the mask. “I’ve got to wrap this up and then we’ll be all ready to go. See you then.”

With those final words I felt it rise in my throat but I wasn’t sure if anything came out or not because the next second his fist hit my head and I fell to the ground, black flooding my vision. What was happening? I wouldn’t find out though before I slipped unconscious. 


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up, a throbbing sensation pulsing throughout my body and a headache to accompany it. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and looked at my surroundings. I was in a car. It still seemed to be late at night but nearing morning judging by the slowly paling sky to my right. I was in the passenger seat. I looked over to see who was driving though that should have been obvious. The attacker was driving, mask on, gloves on, black hoodie pulled up. He didn’t have the radio on or anything. It was just the quiet hum of the car. I glared daggers at him and thought about reaching over and tackling him but then what if he crashed the car? We’d both be in trouble.

I looked out of the window to see that we were in the forest too. There was no way of knowing how far away civilization was if I had been unconscious. I felt my heartbeat speed up. The forest begged the question of where he was taking me. But wait. This was a car. A car had doors. I didn’t have a seat belt on either. How very considerate of him. If I could just reach over and open the door fast enough then I could possibly get out and get a headstart on running. It seemed like a perfect plan. I inched my hand towards the car door, extremely slowly, taking a full two minutes to get close enough to it before I suddenly pulled on it but it didn’t open.   
“Door’s locked. I’m not an idiot,” he said calmly. I noticed now that he had the faintest British accent. 

Of course I hadn’t thought to check if it was actually unlocked or not. Fucking idiot. I knew he was unlikely to tell me anything but dammit I was going to try anything and everything to get my bearings. Logically, of course. There wasn’t any room to act stupidly if he had just kidnapped me to be his assistant. Whatever that was supposed to mean. I reached over and tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. “Where are you taking me?” I mouthed. 

“To a friend. We’ve gotta pick him up,” he responded. I didn’t think he’d actually do it but a friend? So another psycho murderer like him. Great. Fucking fantastic. But if we were picking someone up then perhaps we’d be leaving the car. If we left the car then I could possibly run away. If it was still in the forest then maybe I could hide from them. “What’s your name, anyways? You’re my assistant now. I should know this.”

He turned that masked face towards me as I mouthed “Y/N.” He nodded and turned his attention to the road. He seemed to be much more pleasant now then when I had come across him. But he wasn’t going to tell me his name? It seemed only fair. Besides, I could have a name to report to someone with. I tugged on his sleeve again and pointed at him. He looked back at the road and said, “Jack.” 

Jack, huh? Seemed simple enough. Though he could have just given me a false name. Argh, it would be impossible to tell if anything was the truth or not. I didn’t try to say anything after that and neither did he. Without any words being exchanged and no change in scenery I felt my eyelids become heavy. After an hour, sleep was beginning to lull me in, promising that it would grant me some release from the dull ache. I was just closing my eyes when Jack spoke up. 

“Get up. We’re almost there.” There goes sleep. I shook my head to wake up and felt the cut on my cheek absentmindedly. It stung when I touched it and I recoiled at first but pressed it again, trying to ignore the shooting pain it sent. I could feel crusted dried blood around it and I already knew what my neck would be looking like. I began psyching myself up, get the blood flowing to sprint away. I cast a glance at Jack and was horrified. Now that it was lighter outside I could see what colour his skin was but oh god it was  _ grey _ . Literally grey. And now I wondered whether  _ he _ was okay because skin isn’t grey. It was too unnatural. And the stuff coming from the eye holes in his mask looked like black goop. It was actively running down which meant it had to be coming from inside. What the fuck was behind that mask? I was full of adrenaline now, scooting against the car door, away from this man. I preferred the dark over this. I would very much rather be in the dark where I couldn’t see his features clearer. 

Jack stopped the car, pulling the keys out. To his left was a small cabin. To my right… Was freedom. I waited patiently until he pocketed the keys and unlocked the car doors. Right at that moment I flung the door open and scrambled out of the car. I started booking it towards the trees, slowed by the pain that shot through my body. Seriously, what had he done to my body while I was out? Dropped me a few dozen times? 

“Toby!” I heard him bark behind me. So his friend was named Toby and now they were both after me. It only encouraged me to run faster but I could hear footsteps behind me. They crashed into the brush I tried to avoid to throw them on a curved path. They were reckless. And smart. I was weaving my way around to lose them? They plowed straight through. The noises kept getting louder and louder and a part of me knew that I was going to be caught again but the primal part told me to go faster, to escape. 

I took another step, then tripped on a tree root sticking up out of the ground at an odd angle. I fell to the ground, my breath leaving me. The pain intensified now that I was the one throwing my body around. A fist wrapped around my arm and yanked me up. Jack was holding it and I could tell he was pissed off from the dangerous aura he was putting off. His hand moved to clutch the front of my shirt instead. Another boy came behind him a moment later, a little shorter than Jack. He was wearing a dark cyan coloured hood over brown hair and pale skin. He had orange goggles on and some sort of mask over his mouth that disabled me from seeing who he was. He had two axes swinging at his side which made me very uncomfortable. It only confirmed that he was a psychopath too. 

Jack shoved me up against a tree, not gentle about it at all though through his eyes I  _ had _ just tried to escape. I winced. He brought the scalpel from before out and held it to my throat, pressing the blade to the wound he already inflicted. “Don’t try to run. You won’t get very far. Do it again and I’ll take one of your kidneys, got it?” He growled at me, that demonic undertone adding a lot more of a threat than it might have been without it. 

I nodded enthusiastically and he pocketed the blade. He then turned me around and put one hand on my shoulders, pushing me along in front of him. The other guy, Toby, twitched and went to walked beside Jack. 

“So who’s this?” Toby asked like they hadn’t just chased me. In fact neither of them seemed as out of breath as I was. 

“New assistant,” Jack replied, voice still holding an edge to it but it was calmer than it had been. 

“I thought you already one?”

“Bailey got too mouthy. He had it going good for a while but I really wasn’t it feeling it that day.”

Toby hummed in response. “So how’d you get this one then? You were out for food, weren’t you?”

“Yea but she interrupted. Tried to call the cops but someone can’t talk, can they?” Jack said mockingly, leaning close to me as he said it. 

_ I have a name _ , I thought sourly. I could see the road coming into view and the car as well. I ignored that last comment from Jack and kept walking. 

Toby snickered. “That’s a shame.”

“I suppose. At least she won’t make me go deaf with the screaming.”

“The screaming is the best part.”

“Arguable.”

We walked past the car and into the cabin. It was fairly small and might have had a warm and homey feel had I not been escorted by two murderers, one of which I was beginning to doubt was actually human. Seriously. That undertone, the grey skin, whatever the fuck was coming out of the eye holes on his mask, and the fact that he said he was out getting food. There was a man there. This guy was a fucking cannibal. Or perhaps not if he wasn’t human after all. I didn’t know anymore. 

The front door opened right up to a living room and kitchen. The kitchen was pretty standard. A stove and oven, sink, small counter, and oak cabinets. The living room had a small tv, two dark green couches, and a small wooden coffee table in the middle of them. A hall went off of the living room to the left with two doors on either side. A bathroom and a bedroom, I figured. 

“I’m going to go take a nap for a bit before we head back. Y/N I hope you understand what will happen if you make any attempt to escape. Toby can you just keep an eye on her? Don’t hurt her or anything. I want her intact to work,” Jack asked the other. Toby nodded and Jack went off to the bedroom.

Toby gave me an expectant look and I sat down on the couch that was against the wall with a sigh. I folded my arms over my chest and looked at him. He sat down on the other couch and removed the goggles and face mask, setting them on the coffee table. He had brown eyes, now that I could see them clearly. 

“So… Y/N right?” He asked me, twitching. I nodded. “You can’t talk?” Another nod. “Why?” 

I mouthed “mute” to him. He frowned and I repeated until he seemed to understand. He twitched again and I was beginning to wonder if he was okay. I pointed at him and shook my hand to try getting the point across without mouthing every single word. 

“I don’t understand. Let me just get a pen and paper,” he grumbled, standing up and walking to the kitchen. He opened a few drawers before coming back with a pen and a small notepad. He handed them to me and sat back down. 

I scribbled “What’s with the twitching?” on it. I didn’t need to be cautious around this. They were already kidnapping me, what else was I supposed to do? Be nice about whatever they had going on? 

“Tourettes,” he answered. 

“You’re a lot better than Jack is” I wrote on the notepad. He snorted when he read it. 

“The only reason you’re not bleeding right now is because he said not to hurt you. Don’t get the wrong idea.” So much for having a nice guy here. “You can’t scream anyways. Where’s the fun in that?”

“Psycho” I wrote. 

“Better get used to it.”

“Is Jack human?”

“Not really. You can ask him yourself.”

So he wasn’t. Which confirmed my suspicions but that also meant a non-human creature had kidnapped me and was making me his “assistant”. It made me uneasy. Speaking of that though, Toby seemed to know what that meant. “What does he mean by ‘assistant’?” 

“You’re his assistant. You can help him with his job essentially, package his food, really, anything he tells you to do I’d advise doing,” Toby responded. Package his food. He ate people. I was going to be doing something to dead people? No, no, I wouldn’t. I’d find a way out of here. I wouldn’t do that. I’d escape them. One way or another. 

I didn’t write anything after that, opting instead to lay down on the couch, wince because it felt awkward on my neck, and close my eyes. Toby didn’t say anything either, turning on the small tv to watch some cheesy sitcom disinterestedly. The lull of sleep from earlier came back and I let it happen. With Toby right there there’d be no way to escape. Might as well fast forward time until I could. It’d help restore energy too. 

“Get up,” I heard someone say and I opened my eyes to see Jack standing over me. I rubbed my eyes and remembered we’d be leaving when Jack woke up. Seemed about time. I was sitting up and swinging my legs over the couch to stand when he grabbed my wrist in an iron grip and yanked me to my feet. He pulled me along as he followed Toby outside into the bright afternoon sun. I squinted my eyes, adjusting to the sudden brightness of everything. His grip hurt so I tried pulling my arm back from him instinctively but he only tightened his hold. He opened the door to the backseat and shoved me inside. “Buckle,” he said and I put it on. “Don’t move,” he commanded and closed the car door as I started rubbing my wrist where he’d grabbed me. It was beginning to turn light purple. Great. 

Toby climbed into the passenger seat and Jack got into the driver’s side, locking the car doors as soon as he closed his. He put the keys in after digging around in his pocket and started up the engine. Then, he began taking us wherever it was we were going. I had half a mind to ask them but I didn’t feel like I’d get any answers. But… Jack had answered last time. So maybe it wasn’t as hopeless as I thought. I leaned forward and tugged on Jack’s sleeve. 

“I told you not to move,” he said without turning around. 

I looked to Toby instead who was looking at me. “Where?” I mouthed, now that I didn’t have a pen and notepad to write on. 

He twitched before speaking. “Home. Kind-of.”

Well what the fuck was that supposed to mean? Home? So they lived together then. Alright. Sure. Why not. I didn’t see how ‘home’ was better than that little cabin but whatever murderers and non-human creatures fancied I guess I’ll go with. I really was beginning to feel hopeless now. Locked in a car with two psychos, injured, and being taken to their home as an assistant to the one that wasn’t human. Why of all nights to have trouble sleeping did it have to be that one. 

\--

At some point during the long silent drive I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to a car door slamming and another one opening. Toby was getting out and a look around the back of the car told me that Jack was coming around to my side. It was night now too. Goddamn of course now I’d be sleeping well. Jack opened the car door. 

“Get out,” he said calmly, voice void of emotion. It was rather odd. I followed his instructions and he took my wrist again, this time a lot gentler than before. He closed the door behind me and now I could get a better understanding of my surroundings. Well, it was the exact same as before. A forest. Though this one held a dark aura that made me nervous and slightly sick. In front of us was a large and very grand looking manor. Were they rich or something? The manor itself was dark and overall looked spooky. It was exactly the type of haunted house you’d see in a scary movie. Jack led me to the trunk and opened it with one hand, grabbing a large bag and slinging it over his shoulder before closing it. It smelled terrible and I didn’t want to know what was in it.

Toby was already walking to the the porch which had two large french doors. Jack continued to hold my wrist as I walked just a step behind him. He walked leisurely like he wasn’t in a hurry which I suppose he wasn’t. Toby was already inside by the time we got to the steps on the porch. They creaked as we walked which made me assume that the manor was old. It certainly looked old, judging by the numerous weeds and the cobwebs that covered the railings and sides of the house.

Beyond the door was a hallway. To one side of the hallway was a nice kitchen that had dark cabinets that matched the wood flooring and at the end of the hallway was a large living room. The living room had a tv much bigger than the one in the cabin and two large black leather couches sat on top of a cream coloured rug. There was a staircase on the side of the living room that led to multiple hallways with many doors. Too many doors. I heard a few loud voices from the upstairs and it dawned on me that those were bedrooms and many people very staying in this house. A big gathering of murderers. How safe. And wonderful. And absolutely terrifying. Toby was nowhere in sight so I assumed that he had gone upstairs quickly. As if to confirm it, a door slammed shut somewhere in one of those halls. A door not too far from the stairs had a rumbling noise emanating from it. Probably a laundry room. Instead of upstairs though Jack took me to the back end of the stairs. There was a door there. He opened it and stairs greeted us to a dark… basement, I figured. He pushed me down in front of him, letting go of my wrist. I looked back at the mask.

“Walk,” he said, waiting for me to go down. 

I sucked in a breath and felt for a railing before making my way down. I didn’t want to trip on these stairs. Jack closed the door behind him, shutting off all light. I couldn’t even see the bottom but after a minute I reach down tentatively only to feel no more steps. I waited for Jack to make his way down and I heard some shuffling followed by the noise of putting down a bag. A moment later a light switch was flipped on and I recoiled as it flooded my vision. Blinking rapidly to adjust, I shivered in the cold air down here. 

There was a bed against one wall, plain grey covers tucked in neatly and a desk not too far from it. The desk was covered in a slew of papers, a laptop, and a few books though against another wall was a bookshelf full of, well, books. So he liked to read. That was something normal. A small table and chair resided about ten feet away from the desk. Right next to the desk was a dresser. The bag Jack had been carrying was resting at the bottom step and the lamp that illuminated the entire room was next to the light switch. Powerful bulbs. On the two walls that didn’t look like a regular bedroom were tables filled with medical equipment. Not too far away from them were two little beds like the ones I’d seen in hospitals. What, was he going to pull some human centipede thing out? Next to the beds was a door that lead to a bathroom.

“Hey,” Jack said, bringing my attention back to him. “Unpack this onto the tables.” He jerked his head over to the tables with the medical supplies, holding out the bag. 

I shook my head. I wasn’t some ‘assistant’ for him to use. No. He couldn’t just do that. The nerve. I needed to start thinking of ways to get out of here. 

“Excuse me?” He asked, tilting his head a little. The faint accent became more noticable. I shook my head again. “I’d hop to it Y/N,” he warned. When I still didn’t move he idled up to me. I tried to take a step back but I was frozen. 

He moved his mask to the side a little to reveal his mouth. “Unpack this onto the tables,” he repeated, his voice now a growl. When he spoke I could see razor sharp teeth and he sounded like an animal. Definitely not human. It set off so many warning bells that something bad would happen if I didn’t do it that I immediately snatched the bag from his hands and scurried over to the table. “Thank you,” he said calmly, as if he hadn’t just went crazy right there. I cast a glance back to see him repositioning his mask. Why was he still wearing it anyways? We were in his home or whatever. Why did he need it? 

I opened the bag and peered inside before turning away and gagging at the horrible smell. Not to mention the fact that there were organs inside jars. Yes, organs. A heart, lungs, kidneys, and intestines most noticeable among them. I heard a snicker behind me before I angrily faced the bag again. I took out every jar, ten in total, placing them on the emptiest spot on the table. His ‘food’, no doubt.

I turned back around to look at him. He was taking off the black hoodie, revealing a grey t-shirt underneath. He tossed the article by his bed. Real clean. Looking at his arms however my eyes flicked to the numerous scars coating the grey skin. His brown hair did look kind of fluffy and soft but no way in hell was I doing or saying anything about that. He slipped off the boots he’d been wearing too. Seemed practical. I felt weird in my bloody hoodie and sweatpants and old shoes now and a hand absentmindedly reached up to feel the cut on my neck which was beginning to scab over. It felt rough and sensitive and it definitely hurt. 

Jack seemed to notice me feeling it and walked over, using one hand to lift my chin up. Alright. Nothing wrong with that. He appeared to be inspecting the cut and suddenly dropped my chin, leaning back. “Take off your shoes. Go shower. I’ll wash your clothes when you’re done and clean the cuts,” he told me. I took off my shoes and put them by his. “Paper,” I mouthed. I wanted to write it down instead of mouthing and using hand motions. It was so much easier. “What? Oh, hold on,” he muttered, a moment later bringing me a notepad and a pencil. 

“1. Why are you being nice 2. What am I going to wear while my clothes are being washed” I wrote on it before shoving it at his face. Washing my clothes? Letting me shower? Taking a look at my injuries? Pardon me but that doesn’t sound like something non-human murderers do when kidnapping someone. 

“I need my assistant to be clean and able to work. However I will punish you if need be. As for the clothes…” Jack paused to think. “You can just wear one of my sweaters until they’re done. They’ll cover you up just fine.” I guess that solved the problem. Jack opened one of the drawers and dug around, handing me a dark grey hoodie. Did he only wear black and grey? It blended pretty well with his skin. I guess I was going without underwear or a bra for a while which made me  _ extremely _ uncomfortable but I guess it was better than bloody clothes. “There’s towels in there already.”

I nodded and set down the writing utensil and paper and went over to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. Now that I was alone, tears welled up in my eyes and I broke, the only noises being my breathing and sniffling. They flowed freely down my cheeks, getting the sweater a little wet. Being kidnapped, cut, trying to run away only to get caught, psychopath murderers, and the food and the fucking non-human. It was too much. Too much for everything. 

I sobbed at my hopelessness for a good fifteen minutes before straightening up. No. I  _ would _ get out of here. I  _ would _ go home, back to dumb sleepless nights and stressing about college as a whole. With that thought in mind I grabbed a towel off of the stack that was sitting underneath the sink and set the hoodie and towel on the toilet. I stripped and turned on the shower, sniffling. I got in as soon as it warmed up a little, shrinking back at the feeling it had on my neck. That one was more sensitive than the one on my cheek, oddly enough. Since the cheek one was a lot deeper. 

I washed my hair and body thoroughly, cleaning off the blood on my neck and cheek as gently as I could. When I was done I shut off the shower and reached around the curtain to wrap the towel around myself, shivering. I dried myself off then stepped out of the tub, squeezing my hair for good measure too so that it wasn’t dripping everywhere. I tugged on  _ his _ grey sweater, feeling disgusting wearing it and stepped back out into his room after setting the towel up to dry. I realized I’d forgotten my clothes and went back to scoop them up.

He was laying on his bed, arms tucked behind his head. His chest was rising and falling with a steady rhythm like he was sleeping. I walked over to him and looked down. He still didn’t move until my leg brushed his arm and he shot straight up. Sensitive. Alright then. He stared at me through the mask, the black stuff still running down it before grasping everything going on.

“Sorry about that. Go sit on one of the beds,” he told me, taking the clothes out of my hands. “I’ll be back in a minute.” With that he quickly scaled the stairs and left the door cracked open. 

My thoughts in the shower quickly filled my mind. The laundry room wasn’t too far from the basement but if the washing and drying machine were loud enough and I was quiet enough then maybe I could get out before he noticed. Without any hesitation, I clambered up the stairs as fast as I could while being silent. I slipped past the door, turned, and ran to the hallway on the other side of the living room when I heard the hum of the machines. My hand wrapped around the doorknob and I could feel the euphoria at escape and freedom coursing through my body. 

Everything vanished when I heard an angry, quiet “What did I tell you?” next to my ear. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry for the delay and shorter chapter. School has been killing me and I'm sick too.

I froze up, shoulders tense, body on lockdown. I didn’t dare turn my head to look at that blue mask. Anxiety surged up inside me, pumping adrenaline through my bloodstream as my breathing quickened.

“What did I tell you, Y/N? I was being nice. And here you are, trying to leave. What did I say was going to happen if you ran away?” Jack growled softly. It wasn’t right. There shouldn’t be that much danger and anger contained in one quiet voice. 

He took my wrist in that iron grip from before, squeezing painfully hard right where the bruise had developed. I whirled around, throwing my fists at his head and kicking him where I could, all the while thrashing around in his hold. He tried to catch my other arm but I managed to hit his head pretty hard. He twisted the arm he was holding into an awkward bend so I had to twist with it. I grit my teeth at the discomfort and he used the opportunity to take hold of my other wrist, dragging me over to the stairs that led down to his room. I struggled in his grip still. I was not going to stay here. I was going to be free. Otherwise he could deal with this. 

“I swear to the fucking lord I will throw you down these stairs if you don’t stop moving,” he snarled. I stopped struggling. Falling down  _ these _ stairs would be bad. They’d make me unable to walk for a good while, most likely or maybe they’d even kill me. “Good choice.” He forced my arms behind my back and made me walk in front of him. He let one arm go to close the door and took hold again. I could feel tears threatening to flow but I wasn’t about to let that happen. I was stronger than that. 

As soon as we got to the last step and onto the floor he turned me around to face him. “What did I say I was going to do if you tried to escape?” He said, his voice now at a normal speaking volume probably because we were in his room now. I tried twisting out of his grip again and again and he repeated his question until he shook me and shouted it. 

“Hurt me,” I mouthed, hot tears running down my face. 

“Hurt you, that’s right. Now I can’t take your kidney if I want you to work. But you know, you don’t need two arms to work. It would be preferable but you can make do,” he mused. My eyes widened as I threw my body around even more to get away from this psycho. He was  _ not  _ going to take my fucking arm off! 

I kicked up and managed to knee his groin. With a groan of pain he loosened his grip enough for me to tear myself away from him. He was blocking the stairs so I scrambled to the side where all the medical equipment laid. I snatched up a small knife that was sitting on the table and pointed it at him. He stopped walking towards me when he saw me holding it.

“Oh that’s really cute. Put it down and come here and I’ll make it hurt less. Doesn’t that sound nice?” He offered, taking slow steps towards me. He was calculating, figuring out how to get the weapon away from me without getting himself harmed. No. I wasn’t giving in. I wasn’t giving up. “Give me the fucking knife,” he commanded, scarily quiet and ordering. His tone of voice almost made me  _ want _ to give him the weapon but I got ahold of myself and tightened my grip. He wanted the knife? He could fucking have the knife. In a brilliant moment of stupidity, I flung the knife at his face. He easily leaned to the side and tackled me as soon as it passed his head. I hit the ground hard, the air knocked out of me. “Bad move,” he hissed. 

He boxed me in on either side, pinning me down with his legs. His arms quickly pushed down on my wrists to keep me from moving at all. I was completely at his mercy and I was trembling, had tears streaming, and was trying to convince myself I was defiant and wouldn’t let him do anything to me. 

“Left or right,” he asked me. What? What was that supposed to mean. I didn’t mouth anything as he loomed over me in that damn blue mask. I wanted to know what he looked like. Maybe that’d make things less creepy. “Left or right?” He asked again. He shifted his body weight as he waited for an answer that wasn’t coming. We waited in silence for two minutes before either of us made another action. He was patient, I’d give him that. But actually, he seemed to be thinking. “Hmm no actually I won’t remove it but you sure as hell won’t be using it for a while. Which arm will it be? Left or right?” 

I still made no move to answer his question, instead opting to try wiggling around in his grasp. He sighed quietly, fucking  _ sighed _ , and lifted my arms up only to bend them backwards. He kept pushing it painfully and in that mask he looked like he had no remorse. He probably didn’t. He was a monster after all. Finally it got to the point where I feared the bone would snap and I quickly mouthed “left”. As soon as I did it he returned my arms to the floor.

“Alright then,” he muttered. He let go of one wrist to push his mask to the side a little, revealing that mouth filled with sharp teeth and my fist went flying to his face. In a lightning fast reaction he caught it. He brought my left arm to his mouth, rolled back the sleeve of his sweater, and then it dawned on me that he was going to  _ bite _ . Demonic animal bastard. 

I braced myself for the oncoming pain and jerked violently in his grasp when he bit down. It felt excruciatingly painful, like someone had shoved small knives through my arms. He held for a moment, mask towards me as if gauging my reaction. He didn’t try to stop me from escaping it. We both knew it wouldn’t happen but what else was I supposed to do? When he released and bit down in another area, a fresh wave of tears flowed and my breath choked up, gasping for air in my panic-stricken state. Blood flowed down from where he had bitten and I hated the feeling. I hated Jack with every fiber of my body. Again, he bit down in a new spot on my forearm. Was he going to litter my arm in bites? 

Again and again they came. Big bites or small nips in smaller areas. Tears were coming buckets, my breathing was ragged, and he was watching me like a sick fucker. I twisted my body away as if that would do anything and as if it was a punishment for doing so he bit down on my upper arm. I cast a hazy glance at my forearm that was no longer any human skin colour. It was red. Entirely. I turned my head to the side and threw up because oh god the smell had just reached me. Another bite and I ground my teeth as I cringed away, the fighting spirit ebbing away. 

As time went on and he let the blood seep out and kept biting and the pain became a numbing, my vision got hazier and hazier. Foggy, clouded with tears. He still kept on watching. At one point in time I was hardly aware that a long tongue was lapping up some of the blood but soon after that black invaded my vision and I didn’t have anything else to try. 

—

I opened my eyes to see the ceiling of a room. Turning my head to the left revealed a hospital looking bed and turning to the right revealed the medical tables. You couldn’t tell anything had happened on the floor. It was squeaky clean. I went to use my arms to push myself up and a sharp pang like someone has stabbed it shot through my body. I gasped and heaved myself up after a while with only my right arm. Something smelled really bad. 

Upon sitting up I saw Jack sitting at the table in his room, mask slightly to the side. In his hand… I squinted before realising it was one of the organs he’d had me unpack. I gagged, and took a moment to regain my composure before looking at him again. I was ignoring the fact that he had bandaged my arm. It was a nice act but it was extremely bloody and probably needed to be changed. He smirked when I looked at the organ in his hand again, still feeling sick. I gave him the bird and he merely chuckled, as if we were old friends who were mean to each other in a joking manner. 

“As you’ve noticed, I wrapped up your arm. You’re welcome. There’s a glass of water on the table,” he pointed his chin at the medical tables which did indeed have a small cup of water. “I’m going to finish this and then take a look at it.”

I nodded and slid my body towards the edge of the bed and eased myself off. I stumbled a little as my feet came in contact with the cold floor. Actually, his entire room was cold. I shivered- which seemed to be becoming a habit- and ambled my way over to the table. I cringed at the squelch behind me and lifted the glass to my lips, taking a long drink of the refreshing liquid. It wove its way down my throat, relieving me of the dryness in it. I sighed, finishing off the glass and setting it back down, feeling a little better. My stomach growled and I suddenly found it unfair that he was eating and I wasn’t. Although, I was a prisoner so it’s not like I’d have that right to begin with. 

About ten minutes later, Jack stood and went to the bathroom. I lazily thought about trying up the stairs but it felt like every one of my limbs weighed a thousand pounds and I didn’t want to move. When he came back out he seemed pleasantly surprised that I hadn’t moved a muscle and he hummed a quiet “Good” as he closed the bathroom door. He had changed clothes, probably because he’d gotten blood on them while he was biting me. I wondered how long he had continued on with it after I had passed out. I was still wearing his clothes which were dry and crusty. More aware of it now, I could feel it on my neck too and my cheeks felt dry by my eyes, probably a result from all the crying. I pushed at the gunk with one finger, thinking that he probably did this with whatever that stuff was that came out of the eye sockets of his mask. 

“Sit down,” he told me. As I heaved myself up again he leaned over one of the tables before grabbing more bandages. He walked over to where I was dangling my feet off the edge and I instinctively shrunk back a little. If he noticed, he didn’t do anything about it. He simply took the injured arm and began unwrapping it. I sucked in air when he got it all the way off, a light and needle-like sharp prick running through my arm. It was still red with blood but it wasn’t actively bleeding. In fact, two of the larger bites had stitches over them. I guess he’d gone a little too far on a few of them. Part of me wondered where I’d be had he  _ not _ stitched them up. He examined each red, swollen bite and poked a few areas. When he did, I jumped and tried taking my arm back but of course it didn’t happen. I was duly noting that it didn’t look like he had done anything  _ but _ stitch two bites and wrap them in bandages. It seemed find to him, I supposed because he dropped my arm. 

“Go clean up. Your clothes are clean now too. They’re already in the bathroom,” he said. “When you’re done I have some business to attend to and you’re coming with.” 

I was too tired and drained even though I’d just woken up to care about anything we were doing. If anything, I just wanted to crawl back into that bed and close my eyes. Instead, I slowly made my way to the bathroom, the door clicking shut behind me. It would be hard to shower without getting my arm wet and cleaning my hair with one hand so I decided I’d just sit on the edge of the tub and rinse myself. I could probably wash my hair better than just getting it wet at a later date. Assuming one came, of course.

I stripped and sat down, ever cold and shivering, and turned on the water. It was freezing for a while until it began heating up and it was then that I started washing my legs. I splashed water over them, scrubbing where I needed to thought it was more my arms and face that needed attention. I dabbed at my injured arm, wincing and recoiling quite often when I hit a more sensitive spot. All of it hurt but it hurt more near bites and those stitches. I eventually washed off most of the blood and decided it was good enough for now. I splashed water over my face a few times, poking at my scabbed over cuts, before finally turning off the water.

With a grunt I stood up once more and dried off with a towel from the stack. I put back on my undergarments, t-shirt, and old sweater, sweatpants, and socks. I briefly wondered about my shoes and recalled that they were by the door. Those old ones were damn near falling apart. I wouldn’t be surprised if there  _ were  _ holes that I had just neglected to notice. 

I tried drying my hair but it wasn’t effective much. At least it wasn’t dripping onto the floor. I opened the door, sniffing the air to prepare for the stench of his food but nothing came. It actually smelled kind of nice. I wondered if he’d used Febreeze or something in the room. It seemed reasonable. Jack was sitting on his bed again but this time he was reading a book. I didn’t get the chance to read the title before he snapped it closed and set it on his bed.

“Shoes,” was all he said as he slid off the sheets. His didn’t pool at the ground unlike mine. I hoped someone had noticed I was gone  by now. Hopefully. A classmate reaching out? A friend? Someone who needed something? Family? They’d figure out eventually, I was sure, but I hoped it was sooner now than later. I put on the old shoes, a hole indeed present on the left one. I stuck my toe into it and wiggled it around. It felt weird. Jack was beside me a moment later, a backpack slung over his shoulder. He was wearing a hoodie again, too, still grey. He took the bandages he’d had on his bed and began wrapping them around my arm once more. White strip after white strip and soon it was concealed from any prying eyes. He held out the bag from yesterday, no doubt containing his food. I reluctantly took it, nearly dropping it at first because of the sudden weight in one hand. It wasn’t as heavy as it had been before but that was probably because he’d been eating.

Thinking of that, my face flushed with embarrassment when my stomach let out a loud growl. It had been about a day and a half since I last ate, if I remembered correctly. Jack only started climbing the steps up. “You can eat in a bit. Jeff is being a fucking moron.” He said, closing the door behind me once we got to the top of the stairs and into the rest of the grand manor. 

He led me to the door and I was hesitant to follow him outside until he looked back at me. I took a shaky breath and put one foot tentatively in front of the other until I was outside. I breathed in fresh air and basked in the slightly warmer air. It was refreshing but only for a moment. 

“You won’t try escaping again, will you?” Jack asked, a threat creeping into his voice. I quickly shook my head no and he hummed in satisfaction. “Put the bag in the trunk,” he said, while making his way to driver’s side. He opened the door as I struggled to lift up the trunk with one hand. I eventually got it up and heaved the bag into it, reaching up to shut it. I closed it and then made my way to the passenger side. I couldn’t escape here. Not now, not like this. When we arrived at the next stop I might be able to. But everything felt too slow and and I felt to cluttered. Panicked thoughts contradicted ones fighting for my freedom. I wanted to hide and punch Jack. I wanted to laugh in his face and cry. I felt too much and felt too little. 

With a robotic mind I opened the door and climbed in. It locked. 

“ _ Good girl _ ,” Jack whispered. 

A pit opened in my stomach and I wanted to throw up again. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Midterms have kept me from writing all week and I'm just about dead lol

We sat in silence. It seemed to be the norm but he also didn’t seem like the type to talk much and I couldn’t talk at all. Though it’s not like I was dying to talk to him at all. I cradled my arm in the cold car- why was everything so damn cold all the damn time- and turned myself to face the window. I could see trees passing by in blurs and it made me mad. I was sure getting a lot of sleep nowadays. Maybe it was the lack of responsibilities helping to ease my mind some. I couldn’t do anything without Jack knowing anyways so I didn’t have anything to think about. Other than escape but that’d come in due time. I was sure of it. 

I jumped at the sudden intrusion of sound. It broke the quiet I’d grown accustomed to. I was almost sad to see it go but the annoyance of my clear thinking being disrupted was more prominent. It was the radio, stations switching until Jack seemed satisfied with some instrumental guitar. It sounded nice, I’d admit, but I wouldn’t make that apparent. I let out a huff of breath, my shoulders raising as if curling myself tighter would help me retain body heat. 

“What’s got you uptight?” Jack asked calmly, voice almost monotone. 

I turned myself around to face him, glaring harshly until he looked back to see my expression. When he did I held up my middle finger for him to see. Asshole. Insensitive piece of shit. Acting like he hadn’t bitten my arm all over and kidnapped me. I’d wait until I escaped and got him thrown in jail. I’d be the one asking him why he’s upset. He could suck an unsatisfactory dick. 

He merely hummed in response. I wanted to punch him. The least he could do was say something back. His fingers tapped on the steering wheel to the beat of the song that was playing now. It sounded like some sort of lofi thing. At least his music taste was nice. I tried for a brief moment imagining him listening to country or pop but it didn’t feel right. 

One tap, three quick taps, a pause, two taps, pause, repeat. Again and again for about two minutes until the song was over. I shivered and clenched my teeth for a quick second before relaxing my jaw and looking at Jack. He never seemed affected by the cold and I was jealous. He sat there in his black long sleeved shirt, comfortable and at ease. And a foot away I’m shivering and have my arm bandaged and my hair is still wet so it’s sticking to my head and neck and feels slimy. I tugged on his sleeve to get his attention which seemed like the best option. He looked back at me. A big blob of the black stuff came from the eyeholes of his mask. Gross. 

“I’m cold,” I mouthed.

“Deal with it,” he replied, turning back to the road. I shook his shoulder angrily to get his attention but his attention didn’t waver. He didn’t even move much, for Christ’s sake. I shook him harder- aka he moved a little more- until he appeared to get fed up with my method of getting his attention. “Here, just go to a text to speech website,” he said, digging into his jean pocket to pull out a phone. It had a black case, surprise surprise. 

I took it and it opened up without a password. Before I did anything else I looked for the phone number. Oddly enough, I couldn’t find anything. In fact I didn’t see anything a normal phone would have. No wallpaper. Boring. There was a camera app with no photos on it, a place for settings to be changed, an app for reminders and notes, a messenger looking app, and the Bing app. The Bing app. Of all the things he could have chosen, he chooses the Bing app. Really? I open the messenger app, of course. It’s clearly the best course of action since he’s given me his phone.

It asks for a username and password. I mouth “shit!” because I know Jack isn’t looking and he can’t hear it. I close the app and go to Bing. I type “text-to-speech” and go to the first website that comes up. 

“Fuck you.”

“Mhm,” he mused. I wonder if he’s smiling at my childishness or staring blank faced ahead.

“Where are we going?”

“To the cabin. Jeff is a fucking moron who thinks he’s so big.” His voice tapered off to a low growl and it unsettled me enough to back up against the car door. He just radiated an energy that says I’m-a-predator-and-will-not-hesitate-to-kill-you. 

“He pisses you off that much?” The robotic female voice said over piano.

“His ego is the size of Jupiter. And he’s annoying in general,” he said. He was calmer now but it still holds an edge. 

Unsure of what else to type in, I decided to ask about the phone. It bothered me that I didn’t even see a regular texting app. “What’s the messenger app?”

“Ben set it up for us so we can talk without consequence. He makes sure everything is private.”

I stored away the knowledge that this Ben guy knew a lot about technology. “Who do you talk to?”

“The other residents,” Jack said. I assumed he meant the other residents of the manor. That was a lot of people. And they all lived like one big fraternity. Super. 

“Do you talk to them a lot?”

“No. Only when I have to. I prefer to spend my time reading but I’ve been tasked with a medic type job. No one bothers me for anything else.”

“Why are you the medic?”

“I used to go to school to be a surgeon.” That was some new info. Was I finally going to unlock more about him that could clarify his identity to the police?

“Used to?” I’d need to press on in all the right places. 

“Yea.”

Well that was short lived. So he wasn’t always like this, I could gather that much. “You were human, right?”

“Correct.”

“Why are you like this now?”

I didn’t get a response after that. So that information was off limits. But I needed it! I was this close to figuring this out a little more. Grey skin? Razor sharp teeth? Animalistic undertones to his voice? That doesn’t simply happen with humans. What had this guy been through?

“Oh, so you can tell me what you used to do but not why you’re not human anymore?” The text-to-speech sounded sassy which I was grateful for because that’s exactly what I was hoping it would sound like. 

“The only reason I told you any of that is because you’re not escaping. None of them ever have.”

“None of who?”

“My assistants.”

“What happens to them?” I typed out, my heart beating faster. I felt like he would stop the car and lean over me, threatening to bite my arm again any moment. He didn’t move.

“They commit suicide or I kill them.” He answered plainly. 

I gulped.

“So what’s up with the mask?”

No reply. 

“The black stuff coming down?”

Nothing.

“Jack you’re an asshole and I’m going to send you to jail.”

Not a snort or even a hum. 

I shut off the phone and put in the cup holder, twisting my body to curl up again, containing as much heat as I could. The air felt colder in here now. 

\--

At some point I lost consciousness (again) and was awakened (again) by the sound of car doors slamming shut. I lifted my head drowsily, unable to remember what was going on. Where I was I? What time was it? What was I doing?

I blinked the sleep away and it became clear again. I was at the cabin with Jack. It seemed to nearing night. I could see a few last shades of orange in the sky. And I was supposed to be doing  _ something _ most likely. I was his assistant, wasn’t I? Should I carry around a clipboard and tell him when he has meetings? Like I’d ever do that. 

I looked around for Jack and found him by the door of the cabin talking to a much shorter elf-looking boy. He was wearing a green shirt, tan pants, and dark brown boots. He looked like he came from a fantasy world and with that thought I became aware of the pointed elven ears attached to his head. 

They both turned to look at me and Jack motioned for me to come out of the car. I opened to door and immediately looked to the woods, wondering if I’d be able to outrun them again. 

“Get your ass over here,  _ now _ **_,”_ ** Jack snarled when I hesitated for a moment too long. I shut the door with a slam, not caring because it was his car after all. Better him having to do work than me. Though his car was pretty nice. If he’d turn on the freaking heater it’d be amazing.

I took my sweet time walking over to them, making it apparent with glaring eyes and hunched shoulders that I didn’t want to be here though I’m sure Jack already knew that. When I finally reached them I made eye contact with the elf who I was surprisingly taller than. Only by an inch or two but it was still there. And his eyes… They were black and red and he was crying red. But he wasn’t sniffling or anything. Instead it was as unsettling as the black stuff coming from Jack’s mask.

“Y/N, go get something to eat. I want you to come into the room when you’re done,” Jack instructed before stalking off into the cabin. A moment later I heard a door slam shut. 

I looked back at Ben. So this was the tech guy? I imagined someone not from a fantasy dimension. Maybe a human but I suppose nothing will be human anymore if Jack and Ben aren’t. Actually, the Toby guy seemed pretty human. The elf seemed to be waiting for me to move and made it more noticeable with a huff of impatience. Alright then, yeesh, I was going. 

I went into the kitchen while Ben sat down on one of the dark green couches and pulled out a phone, tapping stuff out on it. He could keep an eye on me from there and he already knew there was no way I would escape for now. He was angled towards the door too so he would know if I made a move towards it. A part of me wanted to know why was a scary one but the rational part of me said not to get myself into more trouble that I had to. 

I tore my gaze away from the only thing separating me from the outside world and instead started digging through cabinets. Plates, cups, utensils thrown around in one. Finally I came upon a bowl and went back to the utensils, taking out a spoon. I set them both on the counter and started looking through more cabinets. One contained baking materials, another with ramen noodles filling the entire space. Noted. However, I was on the hunt for one thing in particular. Cereal. And after two more failed cabinets I found a box of some rip-off of Frosted Flakes. I took it down and poured it into the bowl, sealing the box after. I went to the fridge, got milk, poured it in, and put it back so it wouldn’t spoil. 

I ate at the counter, slowly munching even though I was so hungry I would eat like a ravenous beast. At least it tasted good. I watched as Ben cracked a smile at his phone before typing something in reply. Good to know even they laughed sometimes. For being heartless freaky assholes. A few minutes later Ben glanced over at me and I held his gaze, chewing and swallowing until a buzz from his phone caught his attention once more. It seemed only natural that the tech guy was glued to his electronics.

When I finished, I dumped the bowl and spoon into the sink with the other plates and utensils occupying the sink. Time to help Jack. How absolutely wonderful. As if they knew I was dreading whatever Jack was doing a voice not Jack’s shouted, “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THAT HURTS!” It must have been the Jeff guy. Ben snickered and gave me another glance as I nervously walked down the hallway. I hesitated at the door to the bedroom, remembering it was the one Jack had slept in last time. I knocked quietly.

“Come in,” his voice sounded. I opened the door, stepped inside the room and shut it behind me before taking a look at the situation. Jeff was sitting on the bed. 

A pale- no pale wasn’t the right word. His skin was literally white. He was tall and kind of skinny and had long black hair. His eyes. Why did all of them have something up with their fucking eyes?! He didn’t have eyelids, instead black circles surrounded bulging eyes. His face was cut into an odd, jagged smile. It was red and scabbed over but that made it look grosser, if anything. His arm was currently being held by Jack who had blood on two fingers like he’d just dipped them inside of the wound he was tending to. It appeared to a gunshot wound and looking at the dresser in the room showed me the bullet itself. Jack worked fast. Speaking of working, I was noticing the vast array of tools spread out on the rest of the bed. He hadn’t brought them in with him so maybe he just kept a set down here. It wasn’t nearly as extensive as his stuff back home but he could probably make do.

“Oh, is this your new assistant? Toby mentioned she wasn’t obedient,” Jeff said, looking me over up and down. It made me feel uncomfortable. 

“She’s learning,” Jack replied, reaching over to the far end of the bed and grabbing a needle. He was stitching up the wound which meant we hopefully weren’t going to be here for much longer. I looked away as he tied something to it and brought it to Jeff’s skin. He hissed through his teeth and I was grateful that I had been out while Jack had stitched up my own wounds. 

“At least I can work without having to find help.”

“At least I can work without getting shot.” I could really hear his accent now. I wondered if he was British. It would make sense but then how did he end up all the way over here in the States? Well, he could have moved, I supposed. 

“You know, Jacky, you were always helpless. Needing other people to take care of you. No wonder Boss had to drag your sorry pathetic ass here with us,” Jeff sneered at him. Jack didn’t say anything but once more I could just feel the tension in the air, the dangerous air around him like he wanted to snap any moment. “You couldn’t survive without us. Childish, whiny, incompetent. Good to see you’re finally doing something worthwhile. We really don’t need you for anything else.”

“Y/N can you get me the bandages?” Jack asked me, voice low. Not quite a growl but I didn’t need to look at him to know he was beyond pissed. I walked around to other side of the bed, catching Jeff’s eye as I went. He looked pleased at his work. I looked away, taking the roll of bandages that looked like the ones wrapped around my arm. I stood next to Jack, watching him work. 

“Lazy too. Making your assistants do everything for you. It’s called work, Jack. Do it yourself. A pretty girl like her oughta be dead by now, don’t you think?”

I could see why Jack didn’t like him. He also wanted me dead so I didn’t like that either. 

“No. She’ll be useful. Work smarter not harder. But I guess you aren’t smart, hm?” Jack defended me. Well, at least he wasn’t open to me dying for the time being. 

“I’m smart enough to survive on my own. I didn’t need other people to help me eat. To move. To  _ live _ .”

Jack took the bandages from me and threw them in Jeff’s face. “Do it yourself.” With that he opened the door and left the bedroom.

Jeff started bursting into laughter. It was maniacal and loud and his carved smile stretched out when he tossed his head back.

I left too, quickly scurrying after Jack. He was walking out of the front door, leaving it open. Jeff’s laughing got louder so I continued following him. Ben watched me leave but didn’t say anything. He was heading towards the car. His back was turned to me. He didn’t even seem to notice that I had followed him. Now was the perfect chance!

I quickly turned and ran to the side of the house and around to the back as quietly as I could before full on sprinting away. My feet kicked up dirt as I ran, crashing through bushes and trees. I went in a straight path, only changing when I would collide with a tree. A good ten minutes passed before I needed to stop to catch my breath some. I was far enough now that I could afford a quick one before starting to run again. I leaned up against a tree for support, my mind rushing with excitement at finally escaping. Not getting away my ass. I stayed for a minute longer then continued running. I wondered if he’d noticed I was gone yet. I wasn’t going to stay to find out. I started running again, green passing by me in a blur. 

I breathed heavily through my mouth as I ran, snatching up oxygen as much as I could in short breaks. It must have been a half hour of jogging before I stopped completely. My pace had been slowing gradually and my sides were killing me, sending up jolting aches with every step. I heaved against another tree, this one bigger than the last. I waited longer this time, my breaths becoming less erratic as time passed. I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead. We had been driving for hours to get here. How far away was the nearest road that wasn’t one we had taken?

After a while of resting I heard a few leaves rustle in the distance, breaking the quiet that I could focus on now that my breathing was almost back to normal. It wasn’t a moment later that something came crashing through the bushes, much too loud for it to be the wind causing it. Fear grabbed ahold of me and I froze up, desperately hoping an animal was being clumsy. There was no way any of them could get to me that fast. No way!

Yet it seemed fate had it out for me because a second later Jack emerged from the side of my vision. He was panting and leaves stuck to his shirt and were in his hair. I couldn’t move. I screamed at my limbs to do  _ something _ useful but they were locked in place. As he walked closer to me I noticed that he sounded like a dog somewhat. My hands flew up to defend myself without me thinking to do that because I was thinking about running away from him. I was mouthing “please” at him and I felt the sensation of tears streaking down my cheeks and I could feel the pure terror running through my body. It was worse than when he had been about to bite me. I didn’t like it nonono please don’t hurt me.

He towered over me and I felt small. He knocked me down into the dirt and climbed on top of me like he had when he had bitten me. His knees pinned down my legs so I couldn’t move them. 

“You know, I can smell you. Your scent always has a tang of fear in it. You’re always scared. That’s why I like you. But you keep running away. And I keep telling you I’ll find you, right?” Jack asked. His voice was scary calm. Not the calm like in his car. He wasn’t growling or snarling. Just oddly calm. But he still carried that air of I’m-about-to-snap. He traced over the cut on my neck with one finger, humming as he did it. 

I tried ducking my chin to get him to stop but he forced it back up. One hand slowly reached up to his blue mask and pushed it to the side a little. I began hyperventilating as he leaned down some, his sharp teeth neared my flesh. 

I felt them on my neck, felt them press into the skin there. It broke and he bit down harder, while I strained under him, clenching my teeth and breathing through my nose. He held my throat tight and I didn’t try to move my head for hear that that would cause his teeth to harm more than he already was. After a still quiet minute with the only sound being me breathing heavily he released my neck. And a second later his tongue flicked out and lapped up the blood coming from the wound. It hurt more when he did that so I tried shoving his head away. It surprisingly worked but only for then because he immediately went back to licking the drops of blood up with a sigh. 

“I wonder how your organs taste,” he mumbled. I shivered as his cold slimy tongue dug into one of the teeth marks. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look at me actually getting things written because I have time for once lol  
> Also this one is pretty tame compared to the others. Mostly just some developments with characters, and a lot of headcanons for Jack so /shrug

After a long drive home without talking- no radio either-, Jack and I arrived back at the manor. Jeff and Ben had stayed at the cabin still so I figured that they still had business to do. Whatever that was. I unloaded Jack’s bag full of food, awkwardly carrying it with one arm again. Reaching up to close it was difficult but after a moment I got it shut. Jack walked in front of me and opened the big doors, leaving me to close them as he started on his walk towards the basement. I closed them behind me and followed him. He was still on the first few steps going down to the dark room and I slowed my pace behind him. My injured arm reached out to take hold of the railing with a wince as I moved it from where it had been comfortably at my side. Jack flicked on the light before I got down so I hurried the rest of the way, setting the heavy bag on the floor by one of the tables. I opened it and began unpacking the jars of organs onto the table where they had been before we left.

When I finished Jack mumbled a “thanks”. I turned around to see him looking at the mess of papers at his desk, picking one up every now and then to inspect it before putting it back down. He didn’t seem to find what he was looking for because he swiped his arm across the desk and sent the papers flying with a low growl. He turned to look at me and started walking over. At that I got a little scared. He wasn’t very angry but nor was he skipping with delight. He got too close for comfort, tilting my chin up to inspect the mark he’d given me. 

After wondering aloud what my organs would taste like and twisting his tongue into the teeth marks, he had gotten off of me. He’d pulled me up by the wrist, and started dragging me along next to him. Occasionally he’d stop and sniff before continuing along. We didn’t exchange words until we’d gotten back to the house. He’d told me to get into the car while he ate quickly. I was glad he wasn’t forcing me to look and listen to the sounds of organs being chewed and swallowed. 

Now, he simply pressed his fingers to the bite marks and when I shied away from the touch that made it hurt he pressed harder until I ducked away from him altogether. I was still extremely wary of him. He’d chased me down that far and brought me back with a punishment very minor to the previous one he had inflicted. Extremely minor. So much so that I wanted to point it out to him but doing so might point out the fact that he hadn’t punished me in any way that would probably be fitting by his standards for me running that far. 

If anything, the hopelessness was sitting in my stomach, uncomfortably filling, stretching it out so that it was all I could feel aside from scared. The fact that he said that he could smell it didn’t help either. Maybe he was bluffing. Maybe he was just messing around with me to make me more scared of him and his oddities. But what if he was telling the truth? 

He made a noise similar to a grunt, looking at me for a moment longer before going to his bed and laying down. He was  _ not _ sleeping with that mask on. No way. That had to be so uncomfortable yet at the same time I couldn’t care less about his comfort. In fact, I hoped it was painful. He deserved it. With a small sigh I could barely hear, he settled and his breathing gradually slowed. I started feeling like a creep watching him so I decided to do some exploring around his room while I could. 

I might try to hurt him but where would that get me? The last time he’d been asleep my leg or something had only brushed him and that was enough to make him snap up. Getting close to him with something just seemed like a bad idea. It was like trying not to wake a sleeping lion but this lion was actually probably a demon. 

I went over to his desk to see if his phone was there. It wasn’t, which meant that I couldn’t try different passwords and usernames for his account on that messaging app. I decided to try the laptop. I opened it up to be greeting by the default wallpaper for it and a request for a password. With an angry huff I closed it, looking instead to the papers littering the floor. I stooped down to pick one up and held it up to read it.

_ The Immune Response After Surgery _

I put that one down. No thanks. I was not going to read about things after surgery. It seemed to be his own paper though. Had he written it up recently? I could spot a clipping of a newspaper and took that one instead.

_ College Student Goes Missing, Others Dead _

_ Two days ago, February 16th, 2014, college student Jack Nyras was declared missing. Reports from friends and family have led authorities to believe that he was well acquainted with a female student and participated in occult activities with mentioned student. The student and others were found dead after what appeared to be a ritual and several objects upon closer inspection contained Jack’s fingerprints however his body was not found by police. The bodies were found to have marks that indicated some sort of animal attacked them though the animal has not been identified. It has been advised by authorities to steer clear of the woods surrounding St. Meredith’s until the cause of the death can be specified.  _

So Jack really had been human. And I had his full name too! What an excellent find. There was more about his background. So he really had been going to school but he’d gone missing four years ago. So he’d only been not-human for four years. This was interesting to me. And the thing about being in a cult. Jack didn’t seem like the type of person to be in a cult but it fit with the whole demonic thing he had going on. Maybe I’d ask him about it later. I picked up another paper. 

_ My Findings _

_ After my own experiments on the black goo it seems to be some sort of tar-like substance. The reason for tar is explainable however it’s other properties are interesting. It generates from inside my sockets and runs down my face. It is rather sticky but upon detachment from my skin it disappears without a trace. I cannot explain that. _

Sockets? Sockets?! He didn’t have eyes?!

_ Moving on to my vision, I also cannot explain that. It wasn’t until about a month after of being in this household with the Boss that I began to see again. It came in from black and eventually cleared up over the following two months. I can now see clearly despite the lack of eyes. I suspect that the Boss has some hand in this matter. _

Another mention of this Boss of theirs. So they were all employed? Who the hell employed demons and psychopaths and could make eyeless people see?

_ My skin becoming grey has had no effect on any daily function and appears to be a side effect of the ritual. Multiple tests run have found nothing abnormal other than the pigment. _

_ My teeth and appetite have been largely changed. Eating regular food has proved to make me sick but after tasting a human as an experiment I found that it did not cause any illness. On another test I attempted to eat a few woodland animals but this was unsuccessful. Human flesh is okay to eat but the organs taste better and I’ve grown a preference to them. It is desirable to eat at least twice a day but once a day is still acceptable.  _

_ Recalling experiences when I first became who I am now, I decided to test what would happen if I went without food. Would I starve like a human or would something else happen? After three days without eating hunger pains became more prominent. After five days I was beginning to show signs of reverting to that feral-like state I had been in at the beginning. Words were incomprehensible, thoughts became muddled and clouded, and instincts seemed to take control. I locked myself in my room, set up a camera, left food inside a safe, and waited to see what would happen. I don’t remember anything after the seventh day however the camera caught everything. On the eighth day I appeared to lose myself. I was staggering and trashing up my room looking for food. When I came upon the safe I tore at it for hours, growling and snarling at it when I was unsuccessful it opening it. Eventually I wore myself out and collapsed on the floor. When I woke up, I was once again tearing at the safe. It was made especially for this, with a tight seal to the inside and no handle. To open I’d need to wedge my fingers in the top of it and push out with great force until it opened far enough to reveal a chain. The chain was wrapped around a hook as a small extra measure and required only maneuvering the door a certain way to take it off. Once I figured this out, I kept trying to pry the door open instead of taking the chain off. After fiddling around with it for a while I grew restless and ended up using enough force to break the hook. I then devoured the food hidden inside and regained control of myself the day after.  _

_ It was most unpleasant and I never want to endure that again. During the time where hunger pains struck more noticeably I was often clutching my stomach and feeling sick. I also failed to notify anyone that I was doing this. My lack of care could have led to a dangerous situation. I was not in control of myself. It seems that food keeps me stable and in control of my own body and thoughts.  _

_ On other notes, my senses have sharpened. I can smell various different things (hence how I found the food in the safe) such as different people’s scents, fear, excitement, and on one occasion, lust. My hearing has also been enhanced though it has also made me less capable of handling high pitched noises and- _

“What are you reading?” I heard Jack say from my left. I turned to look at him getting up and heading in my direction and I suddenly wanted him further away from me. I took a step backwards, one arm hugging my stomach as if he was about to attack me and I was protecting myself. “Hm? What’s got you in a panic?” Jack asked. I looked him in the eyes, or well, his lack of them, really, and held out the paper for him to take. He held it up a little higher and glanced over it for a few seconds before looking at me. “How much did you read? Which ones?” His voice lowered some and then I knew that he had some sensitive information here. 

I quickly snatched up the newspaper clipping and pointed on the paper he was holding to the paragraph about his senses. He took the scrap of paper from me and set it on his desk. 

“ _ Never look through my papers again. _ ” He warned quietly. “Clean those up.” He added, before going back to his bed and tucking one arm under the pillow. 

\--

The next day, Jack woke up a lot happier than he was before. He didn’t sound tired and his posture was back to standing straight and tall. It was a little more relieving and I didn’t feel as in danger as I had last night. I touched my arm experimentally to find that it still hurt but not as bad as before. It was slowly healing. Give it another week or so and I figured I’d be back to normal. 

“I don’t have anything to do today. Behave and we can both be happy, yea?” He looked over at me from where he was examining one of his papers and I nodded. There was nothing I could do while I was in this house. 

I ambled out of the bed I’d chosen to sleep in, sad to leave the small warmth behind. Why  _ was _ it so damn cold in here? Mouthing it until he understood would take forever so I got his attention and asked for his phone. He gave it to me and I went to the Bing app, still open to the text to speech website I’d been using.

“Why is it so cold in here?” The robot voice said.

“It’s more comfortable. Do you want a warmer sweater?” Jack offered.

“What?”

“What?” He echoed.

“Why are you offering me things? Isn’t that the opposite of what you should do?” 

“I treat my assistants good when they are good. I’m not going to harm you unless I have a reason to. Besides, everyone who comes in here complains about the cold.” He explained.

“Can I have the sweater, then?” 

Jack nodded and dug around in his dresser for a minute before turning around and holding out a black sweater. I took it and set his phone down, slipping off my old sweater in place of his. It stretched down to my mid-thigh but damn it was comfy. It was pretty thick too. It would definitely help. I opened up the phone again and typed out “thanks” before depositing my sweater on the bed I had slept on. A small growl escaped my stomach and I felt my face flush with embarrassment. It’s not like I could control it but it felt weird. 

“Wanna eat?” Jack asked. I was still suspicious of his suddenly nice demeanor but I’d take it for granted so I nodded. It was useful information that if he slept for a while and I didn’t try to anything to get on his bad side then he was much more pleasant to be around. Not that I still didn’t need to escape but it seemed my only opportunities would arise when we left the manor. 

He started up the stairs so I quickly followed, sighing with relief when he opened the door and heat flooded in. The big tv was on, Toby lounging on one of the couches watching. It was some sitcom, I figured, after a laugh track played when the character on screen said a remotely funny joke. His hair was sticking out in every direction and he was wearing blue flannel pajama pants and a plain t-shirt. 

“Mornin’ Jack,” he said, acknowledging our presence. Jack nodded his head at him as a greeting and led me to the kitchen that I had forgotten about. In our time constantly leaving and coming back while I carry his things and being in his room, I hadn’t taken much of a look around the house. 

The kitchen had about a million dark cabinets that matched the flooring in the house, a stove with a microwave above it, a sink not too far away, and pretty marble counters. Jack went to one closer to the door and opened it to reveal a wall of cereal, much more impressive than anything at the cabin. I went over to them and picked out the box of Lucky Charms. It seemed odd that they would have this kind of stuff but considering I ate it too I couldn’t judge them. Jack went over to another cupboard and got down a bowl for me and while I poured in cereal he got a spoon. He set it by the bowl and I went hunting for milk in the fridge. I felt like I was getting comfortable here, getting things like Lucky Charms and acting like Jack didn’t eat people and that he hadn’t bitten me on my neck and arm. I watched him pour himself a cup of coffee and move his mask some to drink it. I fished the phone out of my pocket where I’d stored it.

“I thought you couldn’t have human food?” I asked.

“Coffee is okay,” he responded, taking another long sip and sighing with content when he swallowed. 

I shrugged and kept eating. Eventually he drifted over to the doorway to the living room, watching that sitcom. I glanced over at him to see an awkward smile before the laugh track played. He found them funny? Another note for later on, should tv ever be useful before I got out of here. 

After I finished my cereal and put the bowl in the sink, I took out Jack’s phone again. I looked into his notes and reminders, seeing a small list of things. 

_ Need to go out for food in three days- short stocked _

_ Pay Toby back for gas money _

_ Get more bandages _

Now I knew when we’d be going out. And into a populated place! This couldn’t go wrong. There’s no way he’d expose himself in public and if I could find a group of people there’d be no way he’d be able to chase after me without someone calling for help. Just survive with him for three more days. I could do that. 

“What’s so funny?” Jack asked, peering over to look at what I was doing. I quickly exited the app and went back to the text to speech. 

“Nothing. Just thought of something kinda funny,” I typed out.

“Mm,” he hummed, dumping his cup in the sink and repositioning the mask. 

“Why do you wear that all the time? The mask, I mean.”

Jack hesitated, staring at me like he was deciding whether to tell me anything or not. “Personal reasons.”

“Is it because you don’t have eyes?”

No response. 

“Or because of that ritual th-”

“Stop,” Jack commanded, holding up a hand. “I’m not doing this today. I’m going back to my room. You can either come down or watch this with Toby, I don’t care.”

With that Jack left the kitchen. Ok, sensitive subject but it was related to his eyes. Sockets. That he could still see out of. Weirdo. I didn’t want to go back so I chose sitting with Toby. He was the only one I’d seen so far that hadn’t had some weird deformity on his face or body so I trusted him just a little more. I sat down on the other end of the couch, sinking into the very comfortable leather.

“What’s the name of this one?” I typed in. 

“Karol and Co. I like it,” Toby said without looking away. 

I didn’t type anything after that, just watched as the main character, Karol, got into wacky hijinks with her friends and faced adult life with humour and confidence. I admired that, even if it was only a character. 

Wouldn’t this be a story of growing up? Girl Escapes Serial Killer, I could already see those headlines popping up in the newspaper. It’d be good to make people aware around the area that he was getting his food from. Maybe the police could stake out and catch him sometime. That’d be wonderful for everyone. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! School is really screwing me over lol

Four hours of Karol and Co. Four hours of reflecting on life choices while Karol and her friends went about it as if it was a joke. Like there weren’t bills to pay and jobs to show up grumpy to and classes to take. After watching that much mindless, numbing tv, I decided I was bored of the same situations given a slight twist and went back to the basement, Toby’s eyes following me the entire time. I breathed out a little when I closed to door, reentering the cold environment. 

I reached the bottom of the stairs, thus ending my slow descent, and came upon Jack sitting upright in his bed typing away on his laptop. He must have showered because he was wearing a blue t-shirt, black sweatpants, and white socks. His dark brown hair also hadn’t dried quite yet, still sticking to the mask a little. He looked quite comfy, legs outstretched, relaxed, pillows pushed up behind his back. Sitting in the cold, undisturbed like a maniac.

“Did you shower with your mask on?” I typed out.

“Hm?” He looked up, as if just now noticing I had joined him. “Oh, no. I do take it off y’know.”

“I wouldn’t know, actually. I’ve never met freaky demons that wear masks while they sleep.” I was thankful once again that the robotic female voice sounded sassy even though everything else was said in a very neutral tone. It was odd how it sounded like that.

“Mhm. How long could you take Karol and Co. at once?” He asked. I could hear the amusement in his voice, like it was a challenge everyone sat through with Toby who had his eyes glued to it the entire time except to watch me leave.

“Four hours.”

Jack nodded his head, acknowledging my response. I went over by his bed to try getting a peek at what he was working on. He was writing up another paper similar to the one I had been reading last night. Curiosity got the best of me and I started reading the text to get a feel for what he was typing.

_ To prepare for this experiment I’ll need to capture a live specimen on the third or fourth day to allocate time for driving back and setting up. The doors will be locked and my assistant will be removed from the premises once my thoughts begin to become muddled. I can have someone watch over her while I carry out the experiment. The specimen will be placed in a large cage- _

I tore my eyes away, feeling sick. Oh good god. Mother of fucking hell. He was going to do another test to see what would happen if he starved himself? I thought he had written that he never wanted to do that again though? He could have always changed his mind but that didn’t make it any less horrifying. He was typing out his plans to starve himself and then eat someone live. He was going to kidnap some other innocent person and eat them, like an animal. I stepped away from him, taking out his phone.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“A lot. Which part are we focusing on today?”

“You know which part. Your paper. What is wrong with you?”

“You didn’t have to read it. I want to know what happens when I have a live specimen available. As you read last night, I locked already prepared food in a safe. I want to know what happens when I’m not in control of myself and someone is still alive. It helps prepare me for what I should expect should I ever run out of food. You’ll help me set up, of course, but if I left you in here I could attack you instead of the specimen and I’m not so keen on losing an assistant that can’t disrupt my peace and quiet unless I give her the tools to do so.”

I stood there, dumbfounded for a good while, looking at him like he was a figment of my imagination that I was waiting to go away. Maybe I really was crazy for watching tv with one of these sickos. Finally I found it in me to lift up the phone. 

“You are so sick. Do you realize that? You’re going to kill someone for a sick test in your room. You’re kidnapping people and eating them without a problem. You’re a monster. You don’t deserve to live. You’re worse than the scum breaking the law. You’re a sick thing Jack. A psychotic animal,” the robotic voice said. 

Those ominous black eye holes only looked into my eyes. I now knew that he was looking at me but it was weird knowing that he didn’t have any eyes and he was looking. Seeing me. He pushed his laptop to the side and stood up. Uh oh. Bad news. I’d pissed him off. I shouldn’t have said that. Fucking idiot! Typing that out when I should have known I wouldn’t have gotten by with it. He stopped in front of me, looking down. A single gob of the black stuff ran down the curve of the mask, dripping off of the edge and it should have hit me but it simply disappeared like it had never existed. How peculiar. 

“Privileges,” he said, taking his phone back from where I was toying with it in-between my fingers.. Now I couldn’t use the text to speech. “Do you think I enjoy being this? Do you know how hard I had to work to get where I was? The person I could be right now? Do you know what it’s like to have that all stripped away? To be left a monster that has to hang around things like the Boss and Jeff and Ben?” His voice rose a little at the end, coming up like he was wailing in distress at a regular speaking volume. 

I shook my head no quickly. He stuck his face closer to mine, never breaking eye contact through that creepy blue mask of his.

“Do you think I like not knowing what the fuck I am and why? Do you think becoming this was some walk in the park? Like it was painless?”

I mouthed “ritual” to try and show that I knew something had happened at his little cult meetup in college. I didn’t know any details, of course, but I had the basic idea. He tensed for a moment before slamming his fist on the wall next to us. It echoed in his room, loud and painful. 

“Don’t talk about that! Don’t  _ ever _ bring that up, got it?” He yelled. I flinched and my arms moved up to hug my torso in a protective manner while I nodded enthusiastically. I’d definitely fucked up the peaceful day he was having. And I’d hit another obvious sore spot for him. He took a deep breath to try calming down, his grey hand splayed on the wall he had hit. 

“Rules. Rule 1. You will do as I say when I tell you to do something. Rule 2. You will not bring up February 16th, ever. Rule 3. You will not go through my things. Behave and you get to eat and use my phone. Break rules or piss me off and I’ll punish you. There will be no exceptions to this until you learn your place and I see that you’re doing a good job,” he forced out, voice straining like he was going to growl or yell any second but he was holding back by the tiniest string. Maybe he was. Either way there were tears on the verge of falling and one spilled over, making its way down to my chin until it fell on his sweater. 

We stood in silence. He was letting it sink in for me and I was trying to keep from breaking into a sniveling mess in front of him. My entire body was shaking and I sucked in a quick gasp of breath, cold air swarming my lungs. I didn’t know if I was shaking because it was cold or because I was scared. It might have both. But I wanted to think that it was the cold. 

my gaze finally slipped to the side. i couldn’t look at him anymore. my hands tightened around my sides, squeezing for comfort though it gave me none. tears flowed freely, spilling down my cheeks and hitting the floor. i curled in on myself, feeling terrible. lost. hopeless. i couldn’t escape. not now. not ever. i would end up dying here. alone. no one would come for me. no one. i’d die with a monster. by his hands. or mine. i was never going to see freedom again. ever. i was wearing his sweater. his sweater. disgusting. to trust a monster like this. i was crazy. 

Jack put his hand on my shoulder, making me jump and realize I was hyperventilating. I flinched away from his touch. He’d probably kill me. I’d done something wrong already. Surely I had. But when I’d jerked away from him my gaze had turned to the stairs. A desperate urge rose up in me and before I could process what I was doing I had shoved Jack aside and made for them. A leg swung out and my head hit the floor with a thud, ears ringing. My arms went up to cradle my head. It hurt, hurt, hurt so much. I could hear Jack snarling and I suddenly knew how a rabbit felt before a wolf killed it. Completely and utterly helpless.

Jack clambered over me, easily prying one arm away from my head to sniff it. The injured one. I was still breathing in short gasps and I could feel myself getting dizzy but the surge of adrenaline fought it back some while I sought to take my arm back from him before he did something with it. Maybe he’d tear it off and eat it in front of me. He pushed his mask aside and I saw his sharp teeth bared, lip curled. His mouth drifted dangerously close to my arm and I struggled more in his grasp, moving to try sitting up but he pushed me back down. He swallowed and stopped snarling and growling so now the only sound was me moving around and my rapid breathing. He held both of my arms so I couldn’t move them and he put his head in that spot of my neck where he had bitten me. I could feel his tongue dart out to trace the marks, wet, and his hot breath against it. 

“You don’t know how good you smell right now. The room is filled with the delicious smell of your fear.” He took a long deep breath. “I really want to eat you. Right here in this spot.” He was licking it again and I shivered, gasping when his hold on my wrists painfully tightened. He was going to squeeze them until the bones broke. “Nothing is stopping me from having another taste of you. I shouldn’t indulge myself like this but I just can’t stop these urges. I’m still an animal Y/N. Still a fucking  _ thing _ just surviving. I’m a little hungry too.” Again, that wet appendage was dragged over my neck and I tried turning my head to the side to edge him out of there. Panicked, my struggles became nothing more than shaking in his hold. Shaking because this was how I was going to die. On the cold floor in the cold room by a cold-hearted monster. I felt him repositioning himself to sit on my stomach more, crushing me though I could tell he was still holding himself up some. 

His teeth grazed my neck, digging into the flesh, and tears streamed down my face, making my cheeks damp. He finally bit down hard enough to break the skin and pain erupted and my jaw clenched and my eyes squeezed shut tight. This was all a horrible dream and I’d wake up. A really realistic dream capable of sending pain. Jack made a sound not unlike a purr. It bubbled in his chest and spilled out, his body shifting again to get better access. He gave a small tug on the flesh and fire spread through my body and my mouth opened in a silent scream as I made attempts to take in air. I shook so hard my breaths were coming out more uneven than before and I felt lightheaded and dizzy again. The demon above me gave another tug before releasing the chunk he’d had in his teeth. He was lapping up the blood, ravenously, like he’d never eaten anything before, and I remembered he’d written that it was better for him to eat twice a day. It was late afternoon now, edging into the evening. 

“You taste…” Jack said, sounding delirious. Like the maniac he was. “So good… But…” He paused to dig his tongue into one of the teeth marks like he’d done the first time and I screamed again without making any sounds, the shuddering breaths quickly resuming. I could feel it, slimy, touching my skin and touching the flesh he’d torn open. How hopeless I was. “I need to stop,” he finished, loosening his hold on my wrists that were sure to be bruising. He sat back up so that I could see his mouth open a little, blood staining his teeth.  _ My  _ blood. “It’s so intoxicating, that smell. It makes my thoughts fuzzy and then all I can think about is how you taste and then you get more scared and I lose myself. Stop being so damn innocent and breakable. It’s going to make me kill you one day,” he groaned, almost whining. It was like he was drunk off of the smell. Like a whiny toddler.

Sobs rocked my body and he let go of my arms all together so I immediately tried pushing him off of me. I put the good one on the ground to heave myself upright and get him away from me. He got off easily enough, surprisingly, and he watched as I crawled away to the wall pathetically, taking slower shuddering breaths in an effort to get my breathing under control. He watched. Sat there and watched with fascination as I pulled my knees up and hugged them to my chest and ignored the ache in my neck as best as I could, counting to ten mentally before exhaling for ten seconds. 

He wasn’t doing anything. I was okay again. I was safe. No I wasn’t. I was going to die here with a monster. He’d just bitten me in the neck for fucks sake. Breathing. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Exhale. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Inhale. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Exhale. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of the jacket. I’d come back from this. I was strong. I would get past this. I wasn’t innocent or breakable. I was stronger than Jack. He wasn’t undergoing this kind of torture. I was tough. I’d make it through this and come back with an even heavier set of armour. I’d come back to my city like I’d killed the dragon and rescued the princess from the tower. I’d ride back in on a noble steed, a jet black horse because they’re less visible at night. Jack wouldn’t hold me back from getting home. He was making me stronger to try again and again. 

\--

A few hours after I’d finally managed to calm down I stood up on my own uncertain feet, one hand against the wall for support before pushing myself over to the bed I’d slept in. Jack had moved to sit against the wall by the stairs still watching me. He didn’t say anything as I ungracefully threw my body onto the bed, landing on the side that hadn’t been bitten to spare myself the excruciating pain it would have caused otherwise. I was exhausted. Crying that much, the adrenaline that had left my body, breathing slowly for hours to make sure I didn’t start hyperventilating again, and the dull ache in my neck and head and wrists had worn me out. I closed my eyes and felt sleep rushing towards me taking me by the hands  _ gently _ and offering sweet whispers of comfort and relief. I listened to them and let myself be pulled along. 

“Sorry,” was the last thing I heard before falling victim to the lull and I hardly registered that it was Jack’s voice, soft and quiet, the accent poking through.

\--

I woke up to the sound of typing on a keyboard. I sighed and hugged the sheets closer, trying to reclaim that drowsiness but it left as soon as I opened my eyes so I rolled over. I could see Jack sitting back at his bed, typing on his laptop, papers to his side. He took the top one and held it up to read. His gaze flicked over to me as I sat up, rubbing my eyes. My neck felt stiff and awkward but that should have been expected. I yawned but was snapped out of my still-waking-up phase as Jack shoved the laptop aside and got up. He walked towards me and I fumbled to scoot back against the bed. I didn’t want him near me. He paused about a foot and a half away from me, staring for a moment longer than I was comfortable with before speaking.

“I’m… sorry. About last night.”

_ He was what. _ Sorry? A monster like him. Sorry. What a fucking joke. 

“When you brought up February 16th… It’s hard. And then... I got riled up and it was like I was blind again and the sweet smell of your fear suffocated me. I couldn’t think. I didn’t mean to bite you again, not like that. I only wanted to spell out the rules and make you understand not to bring that up,” Jack explained, arm drifting up to scratch his neck. Like this was some casual conversation. Excuses, excuses. What could a monster feel anyways.

“It’s a little blurry, admittedly, what happened. I remember you tried going to the stairs but I knocked you down and climbed on top of you. And the smell was just beautiful and it got harder to focus and I didn’t want to bite you again but I did. I remember being angry, really angry and I wanted to make it hurt… So I tugged on it like I was going to tear it out and eat it. I was getting hungry, I remember that too. And your blood tasted so good, so fresh and clean because you’re alive and it tastes better when they’re alive. But then I remembered I needed to stop and I just wanted to tell you what it does to me,” he paused, as if he was trying to find the right words to continue on. 

“And then I wanted to be in the right headspace,  _ my _ headspace not the other one, not the animal’s one but the smell was still in the air for a while. I just watched you because I wanted to know what you would do. It felt too weird to move. I still wanted to attack you, to wipe out the stale aroma with something new but I didn’t, I just watched you. Eventually it got to the point where I could think clearly again. I ate and then gave you a drug to-” 

I didn’t let Jack finish his sentence. I sprung up and out of the bed, startling even him, even the cold and flat monster I’d been kidnapped by, and hit him. How dare he. How fucking dare he. How dare he kidnap me and attack me multiple times and try to fucking  _ apologize _ for it and then give me drugs while I slept.

He wasn’t able to grab ahold of me before I jumped and managed to knock him to the floor. Jack grunted as I landed on top of him but I regained myself faster because I was throwing my fists to the side of his head and to his chest. He ducked his head away from me and then sat up abruptly, causing me to fall back in his lap, nearly falling back to the floor. I pushed him with everything I had and he moved a fraction of an inch, suddenly as rigid as a crowbar.

“Will you let me explain?” He said angrily and I took it upon myself to cease movement immediately and stop whatever fabulous idea I had going on here where I tackle the monster that could kill me. “I gave you fucking drugs so you wouldn’t wake up while I was working. I cleaned the wounds and stitched the parts where it tore more than it would heal naturally. You’re welcome.” 

I sat stunned, still in his lap. I touched my neck to confirm it and there was a bandage there covering the bite marks. It felt rough but not at all wet like blood had soaked through. My fingers weren’t red either when I pulled them away. I looked up at him. I was still pissed but maybe not to the extent I was moments ago. He really had helped me. Maybe I was just being over dramatic about it. But… no. No I wasn’t. He was the monster. 

“You inflicted them,” I mouthed, fists clenched and ready to hit him again if I really had to.

“ _ I _ didn’t do this one.  _ It _ did. I feel obligated to apologize for any harm that comes to you by me when it’s not intentional. It takes over sometimes.”

“It?” I mouthed, confused, and relaxed my hands. Did he have split personalities? And if he did… did he really call one “it”? Seemed a bit rude. 

“The animal. It. I was it until Boss found me and took me here. I’m like it because it is what I should be right now instead of Jack. Coming back wasn’t supposed to happen but Boss made it possible. That’s why I can smell your fear or excitement or hear things you can’t. It is always fighting for control, to eat, to hurt but I’m pushing it down. It’s only when something gets overloaded or I go without food for extended periods of time that it comes out anymore,” Jack explained. So not split personalities but something similar. Still, that didn’t help the anxiety it brought on, if Jack was constantly fighting back the urge to eat me. 

On that thought I remembered I was still in his lap and I pushed myself away from him, away from the animal inside of him. I scooted back about a foot and deemed it safe enough for the time being. 

“You’re scared. Why? I keep it down. I don’t have to,” Jack asked, adding that last bit at the end with a slight growl. 

I wanted to say so much at that moment. He kidnapped me. He hurt me. He bit me. He gave me drugs. He was keeping me here as some assistant. He was keeping down an animal that wanted to eat me. So I did. It took a few minutes but I mouthed every word until he understood and then crossed my arms angrily. 

“The rules. Just follow them and we’ll be fine. I won’t hurt you. I need you fit for working when I need you to.” He paused. “Oh and by the way, I’m starting the experiment tomorrow. Today will be my last meal for a while. I won’t bite you or anything but I will get progressively snappier, so here’s your warning to be extra careful in not pissing me off. You have a talent for doing everything I tell you not to do. I’d listen this time.”

With that, Jack got up and went back to his bed, pulling the laptop back into his lap and I looked at him with sheer terror stricken across my face. Mother of god he was willing to starve himself to get answers. I felt sick but tried to remember that he was a monster. A jerk. Asshole. He was Jack.


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the day passed without incident. I stayed in my bed and mostly tried sleeping, only getting leaving the warm cocoon to get things when Jack asked me to, usually papers. He spent most it typing away, grumbling something every now and then and at one point he snatched up his phone to have a conversation with someone, muttering quietly about a favour. I didn’t want to know what that favour was and pulled the sheets over my head to get rid of the murmur of his voice.

I must have fallen asleep at some point of hiding because the light suddenly flooding my eyes jolted me awake. Jack’s mask loomed above me, as threatening as ever and I fought the urge to try sinking into the bed more. 

“Dinner,” he said, holding a paper plate above my head, a sandwich placed on it. I slowly sat up and took the plate, hands shaking a little because of his close presence. I wanted him to get away from me and when I took it, he did, taking one of his jars off the table. I thought briefly that organs probably should have been refrigerated but shoved the thought out before I got sick. He uncapped it, took out the liver inside and began eating it. I gagged and spun myself around to eat the turkey sandwich without vomiting, chewing slowly as the bland taste washed over my tongue. I was grateful that I was at least fed and after finishing I went to go throw away the plate in the small trash can under his desk. He followed my motions and I tried not to look at him but I couldn’t help but catch his eye and I shivered. 

“Something wrong Y/N? You’ve hardly said anything all day,” Jack asked. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. I turned to face him and did see the smirk. I touched my neck, the bandages, tentatively as if reminding him why I had every reason to ignore anything and everything he could possibly say to me. 

“Oh, that’s no reason to stay quiet though it was appreciated. Anyways, I’ve finalized plans for the experiment. Called in a favour to set up a cage in here for the human in a few days,” Jack said, tearing another chunk of the liver off. I felt bile rise in my throat. 

Jack stood up and walked closer so I took steps away. He grinned, showed off sharp teeth fit for biting into me again, and I felt tears prick my eyes. Felt them build up, Felt them spill over. Felt shame claw its way into my heart because I was just letting him scare me like this but what could I do about it? He’d never stop hurting me. He took a bite and watched me look at him, not knowing if he was going to do anything to me. He said he wouldn’t hurt me, right? 

“Relax. Don’t be so uptight,” he chuckled around his mouthful. I glared at him and he smiled back, annoyingly so. 

“Phone,” I mouthed. I didn’t want to mouth out everything. It took too long for him to understand. 

He hummed, thinking, getting closer to finishing his meal. He’d be done in a few bites, most likely. He finally fished it out of his pocket and handed it to me. The website was still open so I could begin furiously typing.

“You realize you fucking bit me and have hurt me so much, right? That you kidnapped me? You’re you- I mean you’re eating a liver right now for fucks sake! I want nothing to do with you. This is hell!” 

“That’s very much understandable. Believe me, I know.”

“Like hell you do.”

“I’m so much nicer to you than I have to be. And you wouldn’t be so hurt if you simply listened to me. Those injuries are your fault, y’know.”

“No! You’re just a crazy psychopath!”

“Compared to some of the others, I’d argue that.” With those words he finished, licking his fingers. I cringed. That was part of a human, he’d just eaten. That man who I’d come across. That was  _ his _ blood. 

“Go to hell.”

“Darling we’re already here.”

\-- 

I rolled around in the sheets, my insomnia seeming to catch up with me. About time, considering how long I’d been lazing about. I estimated it was about 1 or 2 in the morning. Jack had finally turned his laptop off and turned away from me. A part of me wanted to wake him up so he too could suffer with the inability to sleep like a normal person. The logical part of me told me that he’d snap at me if I disturbed him. Opting to go with the middle decision, I would snoop around with his stuff. 

I quietly shuffled out of the hospital bed, creeping over to look at him. He was still wearing that damn mask. Freak. His laptop was on his bed with him so that was a no go. Last time he’d told me not to read his papers so I decided against that one. Looking around his bookshelf for a quick moment revealed mostly medical textbooks with a few classic novels mixed in. Boring. Then I remembered his phone and that messaging app. Maybe I could crack his username and password and finally get some information on him. Weaknesses I could exploit?

It was sitting on the table he’d eaten at. I’d left it there after telling him to go to hell, I recalled. He’d certainly be going to the darkest depths of it. I swiped it and ambled my way back over the my bed, being slow and as quiet as I could be so I didn’t wake him up. 

Once I was secure and in bed again, I opened up to his plain home screen, quickly clicking over to the messaging app, squinting at the brightness. Time to try usernames and passwords until something gave way.

JackNyras

monster

Incorrect. Try again.

Eyeless

Jack

Incorrect. Try again. 

Jack01

organsrule

Incorrect. Hint: Name-Assist

Jack

Y/N

Flattering. The lock screen vanished and was replaced by a shit ton of messages from people whose names I didn’t recognize. Of course I wouldn’t know them. Why would I? Well, I did recognize Toby and Ben’s names near the top of the list of recent contacts. Toby’s name was at the very top so I clicked to that one first, scrolling back a bit into their message history. 

**Two Weeks Ago**

**Toby: There was more screaming than I’ve heard from your room for a while. What happened?**

**Jack: Bailey.**

**Toby: What’d you do to him**

**Jack: Punishment.**

**Toby: Oh**

**Toby: What’d he do lol**

**Jack: Ran his mouth again.**

**Toby: Ah I see. I bet you don’t tho**

**Jack: Fuck off.**

**Toby: Aw just a joke Jacky**

**One Week Ago**

**Jack: I’ll be at the cabin in about an hour.**

**Toby: K**

**Jack: I’m going to nap too, before we leave again.**

**Toby: Aight. The bitch I got yesterday is buried not too far, you want her organs?**

**Jack: I’ve got some already. Thanks though.**

**Toby: Np**

**Today**

**Jack: Hey. I’m starting an experiment tomorrow. Can you watch Y/N for a few days once I’m at a certain stage with it?**

**Toby: Yea sure**

**Toby: What are you testing this time?**

**Jack: What happens when I starve myself and there’s live prey available. I want to test my strength with this one.**

**Toby: Dumbass.**

**Jack: ?**

**Toby: Starving yourself in the name of science**

**Jack: Since when do you give a fuck about my health?**

**Toby: Oh I don’t but I mean, it’s pretty dumb for someone who was in medical school. What if you don’t get em? You just gonna die?**

**Jack: I’m willing to take that risk.**

**Toby: So if you die can I kill the girl**

**Jack: If I’m dead no one’s stopping you.**

**Toby: That’s a good point**

**Toby: So what’s the cut off date**

**Jack: You really think I’m going to die, huh.**

**Toby: Yup. Date please**

**Jack: After I deliver her, a week. If I don’t come get her, she’s all yours.**

**Toby: I’ll take it! Hm, should I start by cutting off the fingers or the toes first?**

**Toby: Oh and don’t worry Jack, I’ll dump ya out back with whatever is left of her.**

I wanted to throw up again. Jack was willing to give himself up like that? And just leave me with Toby? And Toby himself didn’t even care enough to have a funeral. He’d just throw him out like trash. Well, Jack was trash and didn’t deserve a funeral but if he was just a regular guy it’d be rude. That and Toby was betting on my death so he could hurt me. Slowly. Torturing me. Before I could get too wrapped up on that I went to the second person, someone named Tim. 

**Today**

**Tim: Hey I fucked up my leg earlier. We’ll be there tomorrow morning. Are you available?**

**Jack: Yes. What did you do?**

**Tim: Brian and I were hunting some chick and lost sight of her. Turned the corner and she was crouching and cut a huge ass gash in my leg. Tied it up with part her clothes but it hurts like hell.**

**Jack: I see. Has it stopped bleeding?**

**Tim: Yea**

**Jack. Alright.**

I flicked over to a separate tab, Calls. There weren’t many but one from today was with someone named Jason. Probably the favour for the cage. With how much Jack seemed to do with helping people it sure looked like he could call for a lot of favours if he really needed to. I went back to the messages. The third name down was Ben’s. 

**A Few Days Ago**

**Ben: Jeff got shot at by some cops earlier. Can you come down? We still have things to finish**

**Jack: Sure. Tell him not to be an asshat or I’m not helping him.**

**Ben: Lol k**

Jack shifted in his bed and afraid I’d end up waking him up, I closed out of the app and put his phone back on the table. 

\-- 

I was woken up by a sharp rap on the door. I saw Jack leave the large tables next to the beds to scale the stairs. I sat up, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. I briefly wondered who it was before remembering a man named Tim would be here with a wound. The door slammed shut and a moment later Jack came back down followed by two individuals. Two? Right, there had been a Brian mentioned. 

“Oh is this the one Jeff was talking about?” The one with darker hair and sideburns said. He was shorter than his friend but looked like he had more muscle. He was wearing a tan jacket and jeans that had green cloth tied around them. The girls clothes. He was also holding a white mask with black markings which he tossed on the table. 

“Yes. He was talking about her?” Jack asked.

“Mhm. Said she was lousy, things of that sort,” said the other guy who was wearing a black hood over his face with a red frowny face painted on. He also had on a yellow hoodie and something that looked dangerously close to a gun peeking out of his pocket.

Jack merely hummed in response while the shorter man took a seat on the other hospital bed. Jack grabbed a few bottles, bandages, and a small group of other things like cotton swabs before turning to the man. It made me remember I could assign names to the two- Tim was the one with the wound, Brian was the companion. 

“So Jack how long have you had her?” Brian asked, leaning closer to me than I liked. I scooted up against the back of the bed. 

“About a week,” came the simple reply. I glanced over at him. He had already undone the cloth and Tim was rolling up his pants. Jack poured a bit of something, probably disinfectant, on a cloth and pressed it to the wound. It was red and swollen and dried blood caked the area surrounding it. It reminded me that I needed to shower. Tim hissed in pain, hands tightening around the edge of the bed.

“She looks pretty small. What’s your name?” Brian asked me, leaning ever so closer. I thought about trying to grab his gun and shooting all three of them. Instead I kept my mouth shut and my hands held onto the sheets. “Say it, come on.”

“Y/N’s mute.” Jack intervened. 

“I see, I see. Bet that was an easy grab, huh?” Brian mused, looking over me. He went down my body but trailed back up to my neck, seeming to notice the bandage pressed there and the cut from our first encounter. “What happened to her neck?”

“Bit her.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t eat her then,” Tim snorted. 

Brian was still in my face and he tilted my head to one side to inspect the bandaged wound. He pressed on the bandages and I jumped, the wound suddenly exploding with pain. I willed him to get away from me but I was too powerless to do anything to stop him. The sudden rustle of cloth must have caught Jack’s attention.

“Don’t touch my assistant,” he said coldly. Brian let go of me, thank god, and backed away. He dug his hands into his pockets, looking instead at Jack who’d gone back to treating the wound. The cloth was stained red and off to the side. He reached for some bandages. 

“What’s up Jack? Ya seem tense,” Brian commented, looking relaxed. Jack did seem a little off but I wasn’t about to question it. He might snap at me. Even though he said he would get worse as time went on and it was only the first day of the experiment I really didn’t want to provoke him. 

“He’s got a point,” Tim chimed in, leg jolting a little as Jack tugged on the bandages to make sure they were tight before tying them in a knot. Tim started rolling his pant leg down.

Jack straightened up and faced Brian. “It’s nothing of your concern. Please leave.” He was calm and collected, much more than he had been a moment ago. And certainly not as mad as when he’d treated Jeff. I shuddered at the memory of his smile. The hooded one started up the stairs and Tim grabbed his mask from the table before following suit, grunting when he started up the stairs. 

Jack looked at me up and down like Brian had but under Jack’s gaze I felt a little more comfortable since it wasn’t a complete stranger. Albeit I could trust Jack at all but at least he’d keep me from harm and whatnot from the other monsters in this manor. “Can you clean this up?” It wasn’t a question. I scooted off the bed to begin picking up the pads used to clean the wound, trying not to touch the parts that had blood on them. I threw them in the trash can under the desk and cleared away the bottles he’d used and the remainder of the bandages. He was tapping away on his phone and muttered a thank you. 

I tapped him on the shoulder to ask what had gotten him tense. It took a few tries before he finally understood. “Just hungry.” I could see right through that bullshit lie. I gave him a look and I imagined he was rolling his eyes if he had any. “And Tim was an idiot for getting hurt like that. They’re all idiots. Toby has an excuse but the rest of them… It’s annoying. I know it’s my job to help them if I want to stay here but it’s like they only want to get on my nerves when I’m doing my job. That and I don’t like Jeff talking but there’s not much I can do about that. He’s been an asshole since the beginning.”

I blinked, not sure what to say. I was pretty sure that that was the most I’d ever heard from him at once. Maybe? I didn’t know. 

“Sorry. I don’t talk to anyone about things. It builds up over a while,” he said. I motioned for him to give me the phone. 

“I know what that’s like. As you can see it’s kind of hard to get my point across without using some text to speech thing or writing it down all the time. It’s easier to just let it fester than talk to someone, right?” 

“Yea. Especially now.”

Why was I trying to comfort a monster? The same thing who’d kidnapped me. And I was trying to make him feel better? What the fuck was wrong with me? I suppose a decent logic would be making him feel better so he wouldn’t be as worked up and probable to snap at me but good lord this was getting out of hand. 

“So what’s your background anyways? If we’re getting all buddy-buddy here, I want to know,” Jack asked, arms folded across his chest. 

I thought for a moment before answering. No harm in complying. “Regular kid, regular life. Just without the talking and teachers calling on you when you don’t have your hand up. I also had to use text to speech for presentations. I don’t really know what I want to do in life but college is stressful enough without knowing. For family… we all got along pretty well. I have a sister but that’s it. I’m not very interesting.” As the last part played I shrugged. Average. That’s just what I was. “What about you?”

Jack’s arms fell to his sides as he became a little more like stone. “Maybe later.”

“What? Jack that’s not fair.” He ambled over to his bed. “Jack come on.” Turned on his laptop. “Jack!” And started typing and didn’t look up. Annoyance pricked up my skin. What did I expect?

\--

We’d both showered around midday and I felt very clean and refreshed. Jack had brought me upstairs to eat dinner, apologizing half-heartedly for forgetting about breakfast. I made a microwaved burrito and he had me take it down to his room so he could keep working on things.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, one hand typing, one hand on the burrito. I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, watching him. The burrito was nothing special. Plain bean and cheese yet somehow that made it seem like the golden food. Maybe I was just hungry and it tasted extra good.

“Typing.”

“No shit Sherlock. What are you typing?” 

“Things.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Aware.”

I put the phone down with a huff, focusing instead on my burrito. When I finished I threw the paper plate away and washed my hands in the bathroom before returning to the phone. “It’s later now Jack. Gonna tell me anything?” I deliberately avoided typing out ‘February 16th”. 

“Fine.” Jack got up and came to stand in front of me. He took my injured arm and rolled up my sleeves before unwrapping the bandages. “You already know my name from that article, I’m 25, I’m an only child, and I wanted to be a doctor. I didn’t know what parts I wanted to cover so I dabbled in all of it. Mostly surgery-related things. In my second year, I met a girl, had a small crush. She told me we were meeting some of her friends one day and I followed her.” He thumbed over a few of the wounds, not any of the stitched up ones, but it still throbbed and I shied away. There wasn’t anywhere I could go though so I simply tried moving around to evade his touch. “Hold still.” He mumbled, scruitizing each one individually. “They knocked me out and tied me up and held me down. Some sort of demonic ritual. They were chanting and they gouged out my eyes and poured fucking tar in my sockets.” He was growling a little now and was squeezing my arm a little too tight for comfort. I pried his hand off but it hovered near my arm still. “I passed out again from the pain and when I woke up I couldn’t think right.  _ It _ was in control. Then Boss was there and I was me again, oddly enough. I couldn’t see but I could smell them all around me, the stench of dead things, and I could hear a crackling static in my ears. Boss brought me here. I believe you already read that he somehow restored my sight?” I nodded in affirmation. He started wrapping new bandages around my arm. 

“So that ritual made you into a demon. What did it feel like?” It was awkward typing with this arm. 

“Painful? I thought I was dying.” He shrugged. Why did this interaction feel so damn casual? It shouldn’t have been. I should have been cowering in fear and trying to escape. But. I wasn’t. I was listening to his backstory, what he’d gone through. I had to admit that I felt bad for him a little. He really had had his life stripped away from him unwillingly. 

“How’d you adapt? To this life, I mean,” I asked. He tied them and my arm was pristine white once more. He leaned closer to look at the cheek cut and then the one on my neck. Like he was avoiding the bite on my neck. I was okay with that, actually. I didn’t want him looking and getting more ideas. 

“Do you really want to hear about this?” He sounded reluctant, probably the weakest I’d seen him. What if the angry and cold front was just a shield to protect himself. Everyone else I’d met looked like the  _ wanted _ to do what they did. Jack so far had seemed more like he  _ had _ to do it. In a sense, he did if he wanted to live. 

I nodded. Maybe I could understand his point of view better? Exploit weaknesses? Get a sense for who he was? 

“Alright. It’s a long story.” He sat on my bed next to me. Maybe he was still a little human after all. I was getting ahead of myself. Of course he wasn’t. He’d bit me more than once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are ready for a flashback chapter. It'll be a long one :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took forever to get this chapter out. Finals and other things had me super busy. Butttt as I promised, here's a hella long chapter. Enjoy this 10,010 word monster

“You’re sure you want to know?” He really seemed nervous. Why? What could possibly be so bad about it?

“Yes. Are you okay? You’re acting human.”

“Ha-ha,” he said, sarcasm dripping off his tongue. 

“I mean, I’m supposed to be here until I die, right? What’s the harm in telling me?” I really wanted to know the juicy details, if I was honest. It was a good question too. How did one adapt to suddenly being a monster like that? How did he figure out he could eat humans? How much more could I tell the police when I escaped?

“I suppose there isn’t any.” He settled in, gave me a glance, and looked at the floor. 

\--

_ When I came, to I felt it, like I said. I felt Boss there. And that static he brings with him. I could tell that whatever he was, he was way stronger than I. He just has this threatening aura. It was black though and I felt stuff dripping down my face. I assumed it was the tar they poured in my sockets but it didn’t hurt. Nothing hurt. I felt fine. Better than ever. _

_ “Jack Nyras.” He said. His voice was powerful, demanding, the authority anywhere he desired to be. I nodded, relief flooding me because thank god the police were finally here. That’s what I thought. I had no way of knowing. “You’ve built something of a fright here.” _

_ “Well, that’s what happens when people have occult rituals,” I said with a nervous laugh. Was that voice mine? It sounded off. Must’ve been the strain from screaming so much.  _

_ “Occult rituals?”  _

_ “Hello? Do you not see the fucking table? And my eyes?! All the blood and that bucket of tar?” I gestured wildly to what I assumed was the absolute mess of a place they’d left me in. I was too panicky to really notice that I wasn’t in pain when I should have been. _

_ “Mr. Nyras I believe you are mistaken. There is nothing but a forest here,” he said.  _

_ “What do you mean? We’re where they left me. They left me to die here! Officer are you mad?”  _

_ “Mr. Nyras calm down. I’m not an officer and-” _

_ “You’re not a cop? Who the hell are you? How do you know my name?” I shouted. Panic was really beginning to set in with slight uneven breaths. I noticed. I wasn’t in pain. My voice sounded too off to be my own. I wet my lips and grazed teeth sharper, much sharper than any human’s. I sucked in a sharp breath and took a step back. _

_ “Mr. Nyras stop yelling,” he commanded. I shut my mouth, still breathing heavily through my nose. Who? “You aren’t aware that you’ve been missing for three days after an attack?” _

_ “Three days?!” How? I’d just woken up. There was no way. Someone was screwing with my head. Making me think things. I’d heard about this. You could convince people that things did or didn’t happen. He was trying to do that. He was a threat, trying to make me out to be some lunatic. I only passed out, I hadn’t slept for three days. Something pricked up my skin and I got the nagging feeling of an instinct working its way through my body. Threat.  _

_ Before I knew what I was doing I leapt in the direction of the voice. I wasn’t sure what my intention was but it was likely to knock him down, disable him in case he decided to attack me. I hit his waist. His waist. He was that tall. He didn’t move. And a moment later something wrapped around my own waist and lifted me into the air, a few feet above the ground. I thrashed around but I couldn’t get out. My arms were pinned to my side. _

_ “Mr. Nyras  _ calm down _.” His voice was cold now. Scary. I was hyperventilating. Threat. _

_ “LET ME GO!” I screamed. _

_ “You’re not going to listen… I’m taking you under for now.” _

_ And then I lost consciousness.  _

_ When I woke up again, calm, he and I talked. He told me to call him Boss. Boss described my situation. It’d now been four days after my disappearance from the ritual site. There had been an article released, stating that I was missing and that they’d been found dead from an animal attack. I didn’t want to believe  _ I  _ could have done that. He didn’t tell me what he looked like but he told me what I did. I refused to believe it but part of me knew he was telling the truth. It was just too fucking unnatural. But it worked perfectly with what happened. He offered me a job because I went to medical school. I refused to work for a stranger. He insisted I stay, offered me shelter, and protection from authorities. I still refused. He told me to try the lifestyle. For some reason I gave in. I decided to trust a stranger and try living in the manor he owned. Boss claimed there were other people like me, others who’d undergone torment and torture and been through terrible things. He said a few were even dead, had drowned, things of that nature. Had killed people and been recruited for jobs here.  _

_ I wanted to know why he offered jobs like these. He said he felt it was his duty. Boss didn’t seem like a bad guy anymore. He wasn’t a threat, even though he was still someone new, someone very sketchy. He took in people like me and kept them safe. Now I might be a fool not to take his offer. I told him I would try it but I think he knew I was interested in staying. If what he said was true- and it seemed true with the new and odd things I’d noticed about myself despite not being able to see- it wasn’t like I could back to the police. They’d probably throw their deaths on me and wouldn’t listen because I looked so weird. They’d probably shoot me because I looked like a monster. I couldn’t leave like this, not now. _

_ When I met the other residents they made comments on my face. My sockets. They told me that black goo was coming out of them but it never stained or hit the floor. They found my grey skin unnatural and my sharp teeth interesting. Toby told me he couldn’t feel pain and wanted to see how easy it was to cut himself on them. I had to hit his hands away too many times. Jeff put a knife to my throat when we met. I nearly broke down crying. Ben didn’t say much but I found out he was the one that died. He sounded like it hurt to talk. It probably did. Brian and Tim came by later while Toby explained what things looked like so I had an idea of where to go. They too pointed out my features like I wasn’t aware and bugged me around for a few minutes, playing around with the fact that I couldn’t see them. I had to step out for a breather because all of the new smells. It was a bit overwhelming. And I felt subconscious about my face. It was all anyone was focusing on. Maybe if I covered it with something it might help. I wondered if I’d be blind forever. _

_ “Jack you’re like a medic now right?” Toby asked, sitting down next to me on the porch that sounded like it was beginning to fall apart. It was cold but I liked it. Always had.  _

_ “Not exactly. I said I’d try this out. How can I do it if I can’t see anyways?” I said. _

_ “If you stay you’ll figure it out. Boss might try a few things on ya maybe but who knows. If you don’t stay where are you gonna go? You can’t exactly walk around looking like that.” _

_ “Yea. I don’t know. It’s a lot to take in.” I sighed. _

_ “I understand. It was like that when I came here.” _

_ I hummed in response, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them close. We sat in silence. Maybe Toby wasn’t as bad as trying to cut his fingers on my teeth. Maybe he was more normal than Jeff pulling a knife or Ben with his lungs full of water or Tim and Brian playing around with me.  _

_ “Why are you here anyways?” I asked him as he twitched, making the porch creak.  _

_ “I killed my dad and started a fire a few years ago. Fit right in with everyone else here. Boss offered a job killing people for him. I took it,” he explained. Short and sweet. But he was just as bad as the rest of them then. I felt uncomfortable next to a murderer but that’s probably what all of them were. I’d have to get used to it if I was staying here. _

_ “I see.” _

_ “How’d you end up here?” _

_ “I, uh, was forced into… a cult ritual. They-they gouged my eyes out and poured this tar in them. I was out for three days, I guess. I don’t know what happened,” I said.  _

_ “That’s pretty tough.” We lapsed back into silence. Eventually he shifted his weight again and the porch groaned under our weight. “You wanna get something to eat? I don’t think I’ve seen you eat all day.” _

_ “Uh yea sure. I’m kinda hungry. Don’t know what I’ve been eating for three days but must’ve been good.” I chuckled, a nervous tone worming it’s way in. We got up and I felt around to make sure I didn’t hit the door frame. I followed the sound of Toby’s footsteps into the kitchen.  _

_ “We really need to go shopping or something…” he grumbled to himself. “Is cereal okay?”  _

_ “Yea that’s cool.” _

_ I bumbled around the kitchen while he made it, trying to get a feel for where everything was. Refrigerator, counters, stove, cabinets, sink, drawers. “Here,” he pushed a bowl into my hands.  _

_ “Thanks.” _

_ “Hey Toby. Oh hey Jack,” Tim greeted us. He was probably with Brian too since they’d been together before. Toby seemed like the nicest one of the three. As nice as a murderer could be, anyways. _

_ “Hi. Back to fuck around with me?” I said, reaching around to grab the spoon.  _

_ “Oh, it’s not like that. You’re new. We did it to Toby too,” Brian intervened. _

_ “Mhmm. Whatever.” I took in a spoonful of cereal. I expected nothing unordinary to happen. And of course something happened. I swallowed and immediately felt a burn in my throat, a stirring in my stomach. I put the bowl on the counter and clutched the sides of the my sweater.   _

_ “The hell’s wrong with you?” Tim snarked.  _

_ I felt a rush of nausea and knew what was about to happen. “Door, door,” I groaned. Toby seemed to take the hint as I gagged and pushed me towards the door. I flung it open before flying down the steps and into the grass, doubling over. I heaved and threw up into the grass, sliding to my knees when my legs felt too weak to support me anymore. I continued to gag violently until I was choking up bile.  _

_ “Are you okay, man?” Toby asked, probably a few feet behind me. _

_ “Peachy,” I managed to say before heaving up more bile and spitting it into the grass. Eventually I found the strength in me to stand up and face him. I hadn’t heard any jeering from Tim or Brian so they must not have come out.  _

_ “It happens. But now you  _ really  _ need to eat something.” _

_ Again, I tried to eat the cereal and threw it up. And again. And again. And again. We tried a few different foods but I wasn’t stomaching anything. At one point Jeff came out and laughed at the scene, at my helplessness as I was forced to my knees every single time. Toby presented something else, bread, I thought, but I refused to try to eat it. It all burned my throat and tasted like horse shit. It sat uncomfortably in my stomach, left an aftertaste on my tongue, and the bile was no help in making in better.  _

_ “It’s not fucking working Toby. I think that ritual did something to my stomach,” I said, spitting into the grass. _

_ “I guess it makes sense. But didn’t you say you don’t know what you’ve been eating for the past few days?” He asked. _

_ “No. But when Boss showed up the I could smell dead things around me. Maybe it was one thing but it was definitely dead. I don’t know what it was though.” _

_ “Well then ask Boss what it was.” _

_ “Where can I find him?” _

_ “Probably his office. Come on.” He helped me to my feet and pulled me along, leading me in different directions. More than once I narrowly avoided colliding with the wall and had to feel around in front of me. This manor sure was huge. Would I have to be helped around everywhere? No, no. I’d memorize where everything was so I could do it on my own. I’d adapt to this. Just an inconvenience for now. Toby came to a halt and let go of me to give a few loud knocks.  _

_ “Come in,” came Boss’s voice from within. Toby opened the door and pushed me inside before leaving him and I to talk. Now I felt like I was intruding. A faint crackling static was in the air and I briefly thought about old radios and guys dressing up in fancy suits. “What is it Mr. Nyras?” _

_ “Do you, uhm, do you know… what the dead thing around was yesterday? I-I haven’t been able to keep anything down… Maybe whatever that was... I can eat it?” I stumbled over my words.  _

_ “Certainly, Mr. Nyras. It was a human.” _

_ “I’m sorry, could you say that again? I don’t think I heard you right,” I said with a shaky laugh. _

_ “You heard me quite well, Mr. Nyras.” _

_ “But-but… I couldn’t have done that. I’m not like that. It had to be one of her friends, those fucking cultists. They said they were all dead, right? In that newspaper? They would have gotten their bodies by then, taken them to a morgue,” I rambled. I wouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t a murderer and I certainly wasn’t a cannibal. _

_ “Do you recall that the bodies were said to have bite marks like an animal’s? You said you don’t have any memories of those days either. Mr. Nyras, I’m fairly certain that you were eating someone. Perhaps not one of those people but certainly a human.” I had a gut feeling he was telling the truth. He had no reason to lie to me. And yet I had no reason to trust him. I still found myself knowing though, just  _ knowing _ , that he was right. But I still didn’t want to believe it. Who would? _

_ “I wouldn’t have done that. I’m not a cannibal. I know I’m not. It’s not possible. I don’t believe it,” I jabbered off.  _

_ “You do. Do you want proof? We can see if anyone has a body here already, otherwise I can go get one myself. How did our food taste, anyways?” He asked. He said that so nonchalantly. Like he wasn’t just offering to go get a person for me to try eating. Like that was just A Thing they did.  _

_ “Like shit. Do it. Prove to me that I fucking ate someone,” I growled. No more of this bullshit. Either he was wrong and everything was bad in which case I’d die or he was right and I would eat humans. I didn’t like either of them.  _

_ Boss helped me look around for someone who might have a body with them. Toby suggested I take off his finger. I told him no. Nobody had someone so Boss left for about 10 minutes. He returned with someone. I smelled blood and knew they were dead. He laid them in the grass in the front, away from where I’d been vomiting up food which had left an unpleasant smell. Toby and Jeff were there, Toby because he was genuinely interested and Jeff because he wanted to know what it looked like when I ate someone. Tim and Brian had stuck around for a few minutes but left to go do something else.  _

_ “Go on, eat her already,” Jeff’s voice said from behind me, impatient. A her, huh? Poor girl. She didn’t deserve to be wrapped up in this for the sake of an experiment. “Come on dipshit, fucking do it,” he snapped when I didn’t move, kicking my shin. _

_ I crouched down so he’d stop and felt around. I grabbed hair and moved down to where her stomach would be. I pulled her shirt up some to expose the soft skin and lowered my head at a snail’s pace. What was I doing? About to take a bite of some poor dead girl? Just because Boss said I’d eaten someone? What was wrong with me? Why was I trusting them? Killers? People I didn’t know? And I was willing to stay with them? Who the fuck am I? _

_ “Take a bite, pussy,” Jeff snarked, pushing my head down closer with his shoe. Rude. But I didn’t stop him. I was crazy. I gulped. Crazy people do crazy things, right? _

_ Without hesitating any more, I sunk my teeth into her stomach. They slid right in, no problem. Like they’d been made for it. I heard a squelching noise. A shudder ran up my spine, blood, I could taste blood and it wasn’t vile. It tasted sweet. It tasted like heaven. I tugged my mouth away, pulling and pulling to rip the flesh away. It took a few harsh jerks to get a small rip and I finally got it off and chewed it. The blood tasted like candy. And her flesh tasted like home and everything I’d ever loved. My family, my friends, science and biology. It was as if I’d gotten my sight back again. I wish I had. A rainbow lit up the sky I couldn’t see and I swallowed. No burning, no uncomfortable feeling. It settled nicely and I felt satisfied. A moment passed and I didn’t vomit or feel sick at all. And then I did. But not in my stomach- in the head. _

_ “What’s wrong with me?” I whispered, feeling one of those slow tears dripping down my face. I turned to face Toby and Jeff and Boss and repeated the words louder. It seemed to settle in my mind and I quickly started shoving my fingers down my throat. I couldn’t digest that! I was human. She was human. This wasn’t okay. I’d bitten a dead person and liked the way she tasted. I  _ liked _ it. I was a monster, a cannibal.  _

_ As quickly as I had reached into my throat something wrapped around my wrist and pulled it away. It didn’t feel like a hand. More like a tentacle or something. I decided to pair it with Boss. “Don’t throw it up, Mr. Nyras. It doesn’t taste bad, does it?” _

_ I shook my head slowly, face contorting into a horrid expression. Those tears came a little faster and I recognized it as me actually crying instead of the usual dripping of them. What had I done? What had I done to this poor, poor girl?  _

_ “Hm… Mr. Nyras until further studies show if you can or can’t eat something, you will be eating humans. If you’re getting sick off of our food, I’d rather you have a supply of something you can eat for the time being.” _

_ How could he just say that like it was nothing? Like this was just an inconvenience he was working around? Like this wasn’t wrong? “I’M HUMAN. SHE’S HUMAN. I FUCKING ATE PART OF HER. WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO DO THAT? YOU TOLD ME- WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU? WHY SHOULD I BE HERE? YOU’RE ALL SICK! YOU’RE ALL SICK IN THE HEAD!” I screamed at him, trying to take my arm back, tugging and tugging to get him to let go, nearly tripping as I stood up. I was unsuccessful.  _

_ “Mr. Nyras please calm down. I understand that this is very new but-,” Boss said.  _

_ “LET ME GO YOU PSYCHO!”  _

_ “ _ Mr. Nyras relax.”

_ I bit the tentacle or whatever was wrapped around my wrist. It tasted bitter and my face scrunched up in displeasure. The moment it’s grip loosened I tore away from it and turned and ran. Ran away from these killers and unnatural people and that girl. I would bury her later. I’d come back for her and only for her. She didn’t deserve to die. She didn’t deserve to be used as a test. I sprinted through the woods, trying to ignore the stinging pain of branches hitting me, and eventually tripped on a tree’s gnarled branches sticking out of the ground, crashing to the ground face first. I groaned and rolled over. Pain exploded in my nose and I’d bitten my lip causing blood to flow from the clean wound. Fucking teeth. I backed into the tree and curled in with its roots, hiding in the cruddy shelter it offered.  _

_ I had only wanted to grow old and happy. Like the tree. I only wanted to grow and explore new territory, branch out into different things. Like the tree. I wanted to be rooted and be able to reflect on my roots. Like the tree. I wanted to reach up into the sky, to reach for the stars. Like the tree. _

_ But I wasn’t the tree. I was me. I’d been tricked by a girl I thought was nice. And they’d turned me into a monster. They’d made me kill someone. And in turn caused the death of another. They made me meet these monsters, these terrible people. They made me do all of this. But I couldn’t be mad at them because there wasn’t anyone to be mad at. They were all dead. I must have killed them. Which added to my death toll. How would I go about life now? As a murderer? A cannibal? A monster? How could I live? I felt filthy, felt bugs crawling up my back, crawling in my ears and my empty sockets and up my nose and in my mouth and beneath my finger nails. Digging into my skin, laying eggs, overcome with tiny bodies all over me, eating me alive. I sobbed and sobbed, feeling gross and dirty. The scum of the earth. An idiot who was too naive. A murderer. A cannibal. A monster. Would I ever be normal again? Could I? Could I go back to the way I was before? I’d be stuck like this forever, the disdain filling my stomach. _

_ The tears caught up to me and eventually my eyelids grew heavy. Slowly but surely they drooped lower and lower and my resistance waxed and waned until I gave up and let sleep rush over me. What a mistake that was. _

_ I had woken up to the snapping of branches on the ground. Someone nearby. I hadn’t been able to react quick enough, drowsiness keeping me from being alert, and someone pinned me to the ground, pushing my hands down into the dirt, their knees on my legs so I couldn’t get up. They knocked me out after that. I never found out who did it. When I woke up for the second time, I felt handcuffs around my wrists, hands behind my back. I was sitting in a chair, not tied to it, just sitting. It smelled like Boss’s office. Musty, a little damp, stale. I didn’t know what it looked like, if there were any windows. I didn’t know if I could escape. I had tried the door but it was locked. I sat there for maybe two hours before someone came in. His static. Boss.  _

_ “What the hell is wrong with you? I tried to get away and you fucking brought me back. You said it was my choice. I don’t want to stay in your manor full of killer assholes and psychos. I’m not a monster like you,” I growled at him.  _

_ He ignored me. “Sorry about the handcuffs. I didn’t want you trashing my office or throwing up. I had you brought back because we need to talk.” His voice was business-like at best.  _

_ “About what?” _

_ “You. Mr. Nyras do you really think you’ll be able to survive outside of our care? If humans are the only thing you can eat, how do you plan to feed?” _

_ “I’d rather die. It’s what I deserve anyways,” I shot back, tugging on the handcuffs a bit.  _

_ “That’s a lie and you know it. I’m offering you protection, Mr. Nyras. You’ll be fed until we can figure out what’s available for you. You’ll have a place to sleep-”  _

_ “I don’t care.” _

_ “I can try restoring your eyesight.” _

_ I had to process that for a few minutes. “You can? Is that even possible?” It slipped out. I didn’t want to show him I was interested but I’d failed. I had to be impossible. He was trying to bribe me, right? _

_ “I’m not quite sure it will work but I can try if you stay.” He sounded exasperated, like this was something he’d said far too many times. He paused for a few seconds before speaking again. “You and I both know you’ll starve or freeze out there. I apologize for the sudden and new changes this has made but like all changes you’re going to have to adapt.” _

_ “Yea, cause being a cannibal is just a change I can make.” _

_ “You’re not human anymore, Mr. Nyras. It’s not cannibalism.” _

_ “Why are you so pushy on me being here? You seem fine without me.” I asked. Was I really considering this? He had a point. Clearly I wasn’t human. But that didn’t make my actions justifiable.  _

_ “I’m going to be blunt- We need someone with a medical background. They get hurt too often and I can’t always be putting them off because of injuries. You were a student at that school so it’d be a smart move to employ you,” Boss said with a heavy sigh. He was clearly stressed and tired. Was it that big of an issue?  _

_ “I suppose. How long would it take to get me my eyesight?”  _

_ “I don’t know. Let me think for a few days. I haven’t been presented with a situation like this. However, you seem interested in my offer.” _

_ “You’re right. I can’t see so I can’t get around much. For now. What are the conditions of me staying here?” If I did what he wanted until I got my eyesight back then I could leave and get away from them. I just had to play the part and act like I was going along with these psychos.  _

_ “You’ll be assisting with their injuries. That’s all I ask. I believe the basement was turned into a spare room. We can provide meals until you are accustomed and can hunt on your own. If you ever get caught by authorities don’t expect help. If you make the mistake of getting caught you aren’t getting back out unless you do it on your own.” _

_ Hunt… on my own. He wanted me to kill people. To eat. I almost gagged but forced the sensation down. I needed to play along. I’d just have to choke it down for the time being. As for the police… maybe they could help me when I got out. But… I looked like a monster now. They’d probably shoot me. I’d be on my own. But it was better than staying here. “Alright.”  _

_ “Do we have a deal, Mr. Nyras?” Boss said in his ever-neutral tone. _

_ “We do.” I confirmed after hesitating. _

_ When we finished he undid the handcuffs and showed me to the basement. It smelled a little but nothing too bad and it was nice and cold. I held on to the stairs, edging my way down like he was about to shove me off of a cliff. I couldn’t see but he pointed me in the direction of the bed and the bathroom by turning my body from the bottom of the stairs, then left me alone. I felt all around the room, not looking forward to how absolutely disgusting that bed was going to be. There was an empty bookcase and an overturned table and chair in one corner of the room, big metal tables upside down in another, and what smelled like blood in a puddle near a heap of chains. I reached out to touch it and touched hair instead. I felt around and decided it was the girl. I shuddered but kept looking, eventually stumbling into the bathroom. The mirror was intact but there were shards of glass on the floor that crunched under my shoes which didn’t make sense. The sink was probably filthy and the shower likely wasn’t any better but I didn’t touch either to find out.  _

_ A loud growl from my stomach broke the silence I’d established, the silence that was nice and relaxing and peaceful and calm. It was easy to think. I knew what I’d have to do. I had to play along. I slowly turned to the rest of the room. And took small steps to where the body had been. I let my nose lead the way and something in me pulled me to her. I sniffed along her body, looking for where I’d already bitten. I fought back the urge to get away from her and bit in again. I had to. Until I found something else I had to put up with it. I tore a cold chunk away and chewed. And swallowed. _

_ I did it again and again and again, kept eating her side and getting closer to where her organs would have been. I accidentally bit part of what felt like the intestine but it tasted better so I ate more of it, slowly eating her insides as guilt invaded my body and made me want to throw it all up.  _

_ I thought I heard the door open but I dismissed it as another noise from eating. I wanted to gag, wanted to feel sick from eating someone. Physically sick. I was doing just fine in that department otherwise. I kept chewing and swallowing and biting off pieces of this girl’s intestine or whatever it was.  _

_ “It’s like you’re an animal,” someone snickered behind me. I jumped and whipped around even though I couldn’t see them. I sniffed the air and picked up the awful smell of Jeff, paired with his raspy voice. I swallowed quickly, embarrassed he’d seen me. Someone really had come in. “And if you’re an animal, living in the basement, eating the food we give you, doesn’t that make you a pet?” _

_ “A what? Did you just call me a pet?” I couldn’t believe my ears. This was degrading. How dare he come down here and call me a pet. What was wrong with him? A lot of things, most likely. _

_ “I did, Jacky boy. It’s true. You can’t see. You need us to survive. You’d die without us. You’re pretty damn lucky that Boss didn’t kill you. Instead he took in a stray. And now we’ve got to feed the pet and make sure it knows where to go and provide for it. What are you gonna do anyways? Keep out the mice?” He sneered. I heard footsteps and his rancid scent was stronger so I knew he was getting closer. _

_ “Get away from me you freak,” I snarled at him, pressing up against the wall. I wanted to be threatening but I was scared. Jeff was one of the murder psychos, we were alone in a basement, and I hadn’t been guaranteed that I wouldn’t get hurt. Boss never assured me that  _ they _ wouldn’t hurt me.  _

_ “Watch your tongue, pet,” he snapped, suddenly grabbing a fistful of my hair and slamming my head against the wall. I saw stars amidst the darkness and tried to shake them away, groaning in pain. I shoved his hand away and thought about biting it before taking hold of my emotions again. I wasn’t an animal, biting at the first sign of danger. I was me. Jack. I wasn’t some monster. When I didn’t say or do anything else, he scoffed and left my personal space. A few moments later and I heard the door slam shut.  _

_ A few days passed and I hadn’t gone upstairs much. Toby came down once to talk for a bit but he left too. I ate more of the girl’s corpse as the days went on and I got hungry. I only left to stumble into the kitchen in search of water. Jeff had been around twice while I was upstairs and had made several jokes about being a pet but I tried to ignore them. On the fourth day, Boss called me to his office. _

_ Confused, I came in, following the path Toby had taken from the door. I searched for the chair I’d sat in before and sank into the soft welcoming seat. I folded my hands together in my lap, listening to the buzzing static crackling in my ears.  _

_ “Good afternoon, Mr. Nyras.” He greeted me, still formal. _

_ “Hi.” _

_ “How are you adjusting?” He asked. _

_ “Fine, I guess,” I replied awkwardly. It seemed forced. _

_ “How much of the body remains that you can eat?” _

_ “Uh…” I tried to think of what it was like this morning when I had nibbled at it and again resisted the urge to shove my hand down my throat. I’d eaten most of her organs and in terms of areas that had more meat, I’d dwindled down to a few sections on a leg. “Not much.” _

_ “Alright. I’ll have the next person who goes out, bring someone back for you.” _

_ “What’d you call me in for? This seems like more than just you checking on food. You could’ve asked, I dunno, Toby to do that for you.” I said, cutting to the point. I’d rather get back to my room and continue to map everything in it and where it was and what it was than stay here casually chatting with the head honcho of Murder Inc. _

_ “You’re intuitive. I believe I may have found a way to restore your vision. Don’t look so happy. It may not work.” _

_ “Yea whatever, I don’t care. How are you going to do it?” I asked eagerly, leaning forward in my seat like a little kid. I heard him get up and walk around the side of the desk. He moved silently and came to a stop in front of me. He pressed his hand to my face, his palm on my forehead. “Christ your hands are big.” _

_ He ignored my comment. “If this works correctly you should be able to see again.” _

_ Before I could ask or say anything else the static in my ears grew louder and more persistent. White light flooded my nonexistent eyes and I couldn’t believe it. It was something other than black. It was magic. I noticed a light throbbing in my head. It slowly began fading into shapes I could place. Square, circle, cylinder, triangle.  the more the colours set in and I could see clearer the more painful the throbbing became. The static got louder with it. I looked up to see what Boss looked like and saw an extremely tall slender creature with abnormally long limbs, one hand on my face and the other resting at his side. His skin was pure white though it was mostly covered by the suit he was wearing. And he didn’t have a face. No face. No fucking face. At that exact moment where I spotted tentacle looking tendrils coming from behind his back, the static grew painfully persistent and pain seared from my temple to my toes in a matter of milliseconds. I yelled out in pain, grinding my teeth together.  _

_ “Stop, stop, stop, make it stop please,” I began begging as it got worse. Was this the price for sight? Intrusive pain? Boss kept his hand on my head and I panicked more, squirming in the chair. I clutched the sides and tore at it with sharp nails, screaming. He was doing this. Him. He was hurting me. Threat. Acting on an instinct that tore its way through my body, I began clawing at his hand and black blood began leaking from the white skin, the contrast spreading wherever my nails found purchase. I tilted my head back so his hand shifted just a little but it was enough for me to snap forward and bite it. I ignored the vile taste on my tongue and bit harder, like my life depended on it. He cursed and his fingertips left my head so I let go and his palm left too. When he lost contact with my skin my vision snapped back to black.  _

_ Why? How? Why was it going black? I’d been able to see. He couldn’t just take it away like that. Why did he take it away? He said he could make me see again. I breathed through me teeth as the static returned to the faint buzzing and the pain slowly ebbed away.  _

_ “Mr. Nyras.” Boss said. _

_ “Don’t fucking talk to me you asshole,” I growled out, clutching my head.  _

_ “I apologize. That was not supposed to happen. Were you able to see?” _

_ “Yea and it fucking hurt.” _

_ “Interesting. I’ll call you back in when I have something else to try.” _

_ I huffed and stood up, a little dizzy, and made my way to the door, feeling for the handle. I followed my way back to the living room by listening to the tv. Something about a girl and company. I didn’t care. I stumbled down the staircase and threw myself onto the bed, tired, even though it couldn’t have been more than four hours since I’d gotten up. If Boss looked like that… how did the rest of these freaks look? How did I really look? Would I ever find out? _

_ —  _

_ “Jack! You down there?” Toby’s voice called out.  _

_ I sat up in bed, confused. “Huh?... Yea…” I blinked sleep away from my eyes- sockets- and looked in the direction of heavy footsteps. _

_ “Don’t you know pets aren’t allowed to sleep on the beds?” Jeff rasped out.  _

_ “Pet?” Toby snorted. Good to know he found it funny. _

_ “The fuck do you want?” I snapped, more awake as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and went over to where I thought they were. I sniffed the air. Something smelled fresh.  _

_ “Relax, Jacky. Just feeding you.” Jeff paused before continuing. “Damn you really ate her to the bone.” _

_ “I’ll bite you,” I threatened. Jeff was human right?  _

_ “I’d like to see you try, pet.” _

_ “Shut up fucknuts,” Toby interrupted. Something was dropped to the floor with a thud. Someone. “Jack, here’s a new person, go ham on them.” _

_ “Thanks,” I said, though it came out sounding more like a question. I sniffed the air. Blood. I licked my lips absentmindedly. I sniffed again but noticed a fresher smell of blood coming from my other side where Toby and Jeff were. “Which one of you is bleeding?” I asked, pointing my nose in the direction of the metallic scent. _

_ “Me. Bitch stabbed me in the leg before I killed her,” Toby chuckled. Like his injury was funny. Psychotic. It was my job to be a medic, right? _

_ “Can I take a look?” I asked. _

_ “Sure,” Toby said before Jeff intervened saying he was going upstairs. Toby put my hand on the wound and didn’t flinch at all, like it wasn’t hurting him. Since it didn’t seem to be bothering him I traced it to gauge how big the wound was. Not very big, about the width of a small kitchen knife. I tried to ignore the stickiness of the blood that was now spread on my fingers.  _

_ “Do you know how deep it went?” I asked, retracing it to confirm its size. _

_ “Not very much. Maybe an inch or so? Really not that bad. Got any bandages down here? It’s really dark, I can’t see anything.” _

_ “I don’t think so. I can’t see. How do you usually take care of stuff like this?” _

_ “I don’t. It heals eventually,” he said nonchalantly. _

_ I could see why Boss wanted me here now. How did they not have infections? “Take me to the fucking store dear god. We’re getting supplies. Do you have any money?” _

_ Toby snorted. “You think we’re gonna pay? Just kill em, it’s fine. And you can’t exactly walk in there looking like that and expect to get away with it.” _

_ Right. I’d forgotten momentarily that I was a monster. An abomination. Thanks for the reminder. “Then let’s go, come on, I don’t know where a car is.” _

_ Toby hummed and the stairs creaked so I reached for the railing and followed him up. Something in me itched to go nibble at the fresh body, to taste something newer, riper, to sink my teeth into her flesh to get her organs. What was I doing? Those thoughts were wrong, very wrong, I shouldn’t have thought them, shouldn’t feel that way, should throw up everything I’ve eaten because it’s disgusting and I’m disgusting, foul, just a thing that deserves to starve. _

_ He took my hand and pulled me along outside, letting go when he parked me outside a car door. I searched for the handle and pulled it open while he got in. I fumbled for the seat belt and he started the car, driving slowly out of what might have been a driveway as it clicked in the lock.  _

_ “So you’re the medic, Jack,” Toby said. _

_ “So I am,” I replied, tilting my head back in the seat to relax. “What’s your deal with him?” I asked, mostly because I remembered he referred to them more as his employees than anything else.  _

_ “I’m a killer. Most of us are but a few like you have different deals with Boss. Like Ben, this kid who got here, like, half a year ago deals with electronic stuff I guess, so right now he’s working on something for us to communicate more efficiently. Can’t exactly get caught in our line, y’know? Let’s see… there’s this little girl who came last year named Sally. She doesn’t do much but she stays anyway, think Boss felt bad for her. There’s you, a medic now, and there’s a few others that help with other tasks like destroying information on us,” he explained. I nodded slowly, taking it in. So not all of them were murderers, good to know. But children there? Surrounded by them? That wasn’t safe at all.  _

_ “Okay wait, so, you have children there and the government knows about this?”  _

_ “Ben and Sally are dead.” He paused, inhaling. “The government knows we exist but they don’t know where we are or much about us. Chances are they’ll eventually get intel on you so be careful when you go out or use any electronic. We have people that can destroy their information- Ben does that sometimes when it’s too big of a piece for the normal people to do it- and they keep us hidden. We do what Boss wants us to and he offers shelter and food and safety from authorities. Most of us would be rotting in the dirt by now or spending time in prison if it wasn’t for him. We owe him.” _

_ That put a new and horrible light on this. So they were psychos before and now they get to be psychos for a living. Great. Absolutely nothing wrong with having dead children around. Were they ghosts then? Or something else like me? I supposed it didn’t matter. What would I care? Not like I could see them or anything. _

_ “Are we allowed to kill one another? Because I’m pretty sure Jeff is gonna slit my throat,” I blurted out. I needed to know what these rules were if I needed to defend myself against the insane man.  _

_ “No. Kill someone Boss has a deal with and you end up dead. Jeff‘ll probably fuck around with you but he can’t kill you. Break off the deal with Boss though and he can. Guy’s gotta a real fucked up sense of humour, he’d absolutely destroy you.” _

_ At least that put a fear at ease. I was fairly certain Jeff didn’t want to die so I was safe unless I stopped working for Boss. Unless he backed off, I was trapped in this job to save my life. The rest of the drive was fairly silent. Every now and then Toby would ask a question about me, mostly things on why I was their new medic and how much I knew about topics like surgeries, and infections and whatnot. He told me to put the hood on my sweater up to better conceal my face and to put my head down for a bit when we got within city limits. When he finally stopped the car, he told me to wait before getting out. _

_ “There’s someone inside but once they leave we’ll go in. I’m not in the mood to deal with more corpses than I have to,” he explained. _

_ “What are we at, a pharmacy?”  _

_ “Yup. He’s coming out right now… let me grab my hatchets from the backseat while he drives off.” _

_ Hatchets? I thought of old slasher movies and wished the were just movies and not my new twisted reality. “Isn’t it daylight though? Couldn’t someone see us?” I pointed out as I stepped out of the car and went up to the hood, my hand resting on it to make sure it was what I thought. _

_ “It’s like, 1am dude.” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ “Come on,” he said, walking in one direction. I followed his footsteps and soon heard automatic doors sliding open and felt cold air rush over me. It felt good.  _

_ “Hey, what are you doing with those? Can’t have them in the store,” a man’s voice said from my left. “Hey- get away from me! What are you-“ _

_ I heard a sickening squelch and then a thump on the ground and Toby’s footsteps in front of me again. The smell of blood tickled my nose and I noticed I was a little hungry.  _

_ “Anyone else here?” Toby shouted. _

_ “Hello? I can help find whatever it is you need,” a woman answered. _

_ Toby started running in one direction, a full on sprint by the speed of his light steps and I heard a loud scream a few seconds later. _

_ “Come here bitch!” He yelled and something crashed to the floor and another shriek pierced the air. Another crash that sounded like a rack falling. Lighter footsteps were coming towards me. “Jack, grab her!”  _

_ Without thinking twice about what I was about to do then, I lunged for the footsteps, a sweet lemony smell drifting by, and tackled her to the floor. She screamed and thrashed around in my grip so I quickly shoved her head back and bit into her neck. I didn’t know how else to silence her without a weapon so I proceeded to tear at her neck until her noises fell to gurgles and then she was quiet. I swallowed what I’d torn off and licked my lips, licked the blood off, before getting off of her.  _

_ “Ooh nice. I dig your style, going for the neck. Classic move,” Toby commented from behind me. “Anyways, they’re dead now, let’s loot.” _

_ “Toby I can’t even see what I’m grabbing.” I pointed out.  _

_ “Oh right. I’ll grab then, you kill anyone that might come in.” _

_ “That I can do,” I muttered, nudging her body with my foot to find her stomach. Nothing wrong with grabbing a quick bite while he did that, right? Aside from the obvious, of course. His footsteps faded and I bent down, lifting up her shirt. I pulled her a bit closer to lift up her torso some before biting into it. Warm blood and flesh filled my mouth and I couldn’t deny the delicious aroma or taste that enticed me. I licked at the area and bit again. Tear off. Chew. Swallow. Repeat.  _

_ After a few minutes I hit her organs and munched on those instead. Until the automatic doors opened and a shrill sound invaded my ears. My head snapped up. Shit. _

_ I scrambled up and began following the sound of the girl screaming. I needed to shut her up quick since she was screeching into the parking lot, feet scuffling on the ground. I quickly caught up and grabbed her arm. I skidded to a stop and pulled her towards me. Killing her via neck bite would take too long. How could I get her to be quiet? Threats. I could use threats. I grabbed her throat with one hand, holding her so her back was pressed to my chest.  _

_ “If you don’t shut up right now I’ll kill you,”  I snarled in her ear. It seemed to do the trick because the only thing I heard after that was a small whimper. It felt a little good to be in control like this. “Scream again and find out what happens.” _

_ I began leading us back in the direction of the pharmacy, sniffing to make sure this was her scent I was following. I’d kill her inside. The doors opened again and she whined in my hold and a wave of guilt rushed over me for doing this. Killing people and eating them? It was for survival though, right? Survival. Sure.  _

_ “Please don’t kill me, please please please, I’ll give you anything you want, please just let me go,” she pleaded, voice desperate and slightly choked by my hand on her throat.  _

_ “Shut your fucking mouth,” I growled. I needed to be intimidating enough to scare her into doing whatever I said. It seemed to be working so far.  _

_ “Who’s your little friend?” Toby snickered. Plastic bags were set somewhere near me and his footsteps got closer. “She’s pretty.” _

_ “What are you gonna do to me? Are you going to rape me? Get away from me, both of you!” She yelled. I squeezed her neck and she stopped talking. _

_ “I’m not into rape. Jeff is though. You should give her to him.” _

_ “Do you have everything?” I asked him. _

_ “Yup. Oh and I found you a knife because the whole neck thing takes too long,” he said, pressing the handle into my palm. It felt too big but that was probably a good thing in the line of murder.  _

_ “Thanks,” I muttered.  _

_ “Really though, if you’re worried about him just give her to him and he’ll be occupied.” _

_ Was I actually considering this now? Was I willing to let this girl suffer to save myself? It’s not like Jeff could kill me but Toby hadn’t specified hurting me and I wouldn’t put it past the guy to find a loophole. Maybe it would get him off my back, get him to leave me alone. I was already killing and eating people. There wasn’t any going back, was there? She’d die either way. I could kill her now or she could die by Jeff’s hands. She hadn’t wanted to die right? She could live longer like this. It would be better for her, I told myself. I felt bad but I couldn’t show it to her.  _

_ “Fine,” I grunted. I flicked the knife under her chin, tilting her head back. “Try to escape or say anything and I’ll slit your throat, understand?”  _

_ —  _

_ Time went on. I was slowly changing, adapting to the smell of blood that was everywhere now and eating people and dealing with their corpses. I went out from time to time with someone, usually Toby, to get supplies. Every time I left I’d ended up killing someone. It was becoming a part of it all, part of my life. I could see it at that point. If I wanted to live then other people had to die. It still made me a bit uncomfortable but I was getting used to it. I was growing a preference for organs rather than flesh itself but I could still eat both if I needed to. Boss never called me back into his office but I started slowly getting my sight back. I didn’t know if he was behind it or not. I still don’t but I assume he was. When I fully got my sight back, I started getting my own meals and didn’t need anyone to help me with tasks. I started cleaning the room because now that I saw it, it actually existed as not just a place where I ate and slept. It was my room, my home. I would sneak into hospitals to get things I couldn’t find at a pharmacy. I liked using a scalpel more than the knife I found out on one trip so I adopted that instead.  _

_ The government of course eventually found me like Toby said. Fingerprints and the like. I had a few run-ins with the cops but it was just another meal. I had to start changing up my hunting patterns to throw them off so they couldn’t try to ambush me. The public gave me the nickname “Eyeless Jack” after security footage was released and they couldn’t see my eyes. When they did that, I played along and took a few of my victims eyes out. It was fun. A newspaper questioned if I liked the nickname so the same night it was published, I wrote on the walls in a victim’s house that I did. The government got excited I was responding and put up questions for me to answer.  _

_ “Why do you eat humans?” “Why do you eat meat?” _

_ “Why can’t we see your eyes in any footage?” “I don’t know. Why can’t you?”  _

_ “What happened on February 16, 2014?” “I thought you knew.” _

_ “Are you in an alliance with the other killers?” “That’s one way to put it.” _

_ “What’s wrong with your DNA?” “You tell me.” _

_ It was fun, to lead them around, to instill hope that they were getting answers while I killed and kept citizens on edge.  _

_ The assistant thing started when I needed help during certain operations. I couldn’t trust any of them, they didn’t care about each other enough to do anything like that. So I figured if I kidnapped someone I could scare them into working. I began doing it and using them more. I developed a few rules for my assistants. The government left me questions after the fifth kidnapping. _

_ “Who’s kidnapping citizens?” “Me.” _

_ “Why are you kidnapping them?” “To work.” _

_ “Why do you leave them dead after a while?” “They kill themselves or mess up too much. I quite like their pretty screams. Would you like to see a recording of Ray? He tried to escape after stabbing me yesterday.” _

_ They took the opportunity, despite public disagreement, in hopes of getting more information.  _

_ I recorded a video on my phone of him, Ray, tied up in a chair. He was screaming and kicking so I made a show of cutting him slowly. I didn’t talk so they didn’t know what I sounded like but the message got across. I was in power here. I was in control and no one could stop me. Eventually I decided to stop messing around and get to the main event. I undid the ropes tying him to the chair, held him down sideways so the camera could see his face, and began eating him alive. I was facing away so they couldn’t see my face. He screamed until his voice grew strained and eventually he died. I made an effort to be messy this time, spilling blood and pieces of organs, trying to be loud in ripping him apart. I wanted them to be scared of me so they wouldn’t hurt me, wouldn’t even think about doing such a thing. I put the video online after making sure with Ben that it wouldn’t be traceable to our location. I spelled out the link to it with Ray’s blood after I dumped his body near his house. They tried to take down the video but after bargaining with Ben and doing him a few things he said he’d make sure it couldn’t be taken down. It’s still there.  _

_ The area I picked up assistants from figured out that the longer they did what I wanted, the longer they stayed alive. I felt powerful, making them fear me, making them obedient. For once, I was in control more than just making some citizen in the wrong place at the wrong time scared of me. Jeff even stopped fucking around for the most part, Tim and Brian left me alone, everyone finally stopped treating me like a newbie, a nuisance, a child that doesn’t know anything. No one bothered me like they used to, didn’t ridicule me. _

_ —  _

“I finally felt free like that tree,” Jack finished. 

I stared at him. He was human. He was a human like me. Maybe not much anymore, but he used to be. I didn’t know what to make of his story. He had been scared and helpless once. But he made an entire city fearful of him? Got the attention of the government? Played games with them? He was a monster. He kidnapped people. He kidnapped me! But he had been human once. That still didn’t justify his actions. Those other killers, Jeff and Toby and Tim and Brian were all human too, right? They were just as bad, if not worse because they were psychos before they had a deal with that Boss guy. More though, how had I stayed ignorant to all of this the entire time?

He turned to look at me. He hadn’t explained one thing, one that I thought was an important piece. I pointed at the mask on his face.

“My mask? I was self-conscious about my face. Picked it up from a shop one night.” As he said it, his grey hand came up to rest on the blue object. It looked like wood, if I inspected it better. 

I fumbled for the phone, having misplaced it at some point of his story. I finally found it under my leg, warm now. “Can I see what you look like?” I typed in.

“No,” he said while shaking his head. 

A minute passed but it felt longer. 

“So that’s your story.”

“It’s my story. Like it?” He asked, tilting his head to the side a little. It reminded me faintly of a puppy but a vicious monster like him could never be that cute or friendly. 

“It was disturbing. You all need serious help,” I tapped out.

“Not my choice to end up like this. I’m just making the most of an accident.”

“Mhm and what did you learn from all of this?” I tried to sourly joke, hoping the text to speech conveyed the emotion right to this sicko. It did in some sense. 

“Don’t trust people and you don’t get hurt. Also organs taste delicious.”

“You’re sick.”

“There’s only one way out of this sweetheart, otherwise you’re stuck with me. What’ll it be?” He said as he got up from my bed, stretched, and went to his own bed, laying down. He turned to the side, facing away from me, never bothering to put a blanket over or even change out of jeans and a sweater.

“I’m getting out of here alright. So I guess I’m hanging around for now.”

“Good luck with that.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst never ends, does it? Well, not when you're kidnapped by eldritch horrors but that's besides the point. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter!

It was the fourth day of Jack starving himself. He’d been a little more disheveled recently, his hair a mess, constantly grumbling about things and throwing papers around his desk. I didn’t talk to him much except to ask to read some of his books to pass the time and when he wanted to know if I was hungry. He’d warned me he’d probably be a bit snappier so I didn’t want to say anything that might upset him. I’d been able to wash my clothes again and had made a point to Jack that I needed more clothes than the ones I’d been kidnapped in. He said he’d take me to get a few things later on and for now to wear his clothes if I needed to. I opted to stay in my own clothes but I kept one of his black sweaters since it helped make his frigid room more bearable. 

“It’s almost sunset… Y/N,” Jack said to get my attention, drawing it away from the novel I was currently reading. Science fiction, which definitely suited him and was fairly interesting to me. “It’s getting hard to think straight so we’re going to pick someone up before it gets worse. Jason is going to come in here and set up a cage while we’re gone. Put on your shoes,” he told me. I’d almost forgotten about the person he was supposed to eat alive. I wanted to tell him no, that I wasn’t going with him for this but decided against it. It just wouldn’t be the best choice of action, not now.

I sighed and put the book on the metal table closest to me before getting out of bed. He was tugging on a black hoodie when I looked over at him, pocketing a scalpel, and reaching for his shoes. I put on my own, thumbing the hole in the left one idly while I waited for him. His phone was in my pocket but he didn’t seem super concerned about it, instead, clicking a few things on his laptop before closing it. He finally stood up and gestured to me to follow him. 

We went outside into the cooling air and got into the same car he’d been driving around in. I wondered if they divided them up so certain people drove certain cars. I nestled into the seat, soaking up what little heat I could. Once he started it up and was driving on the little road that led to this place, he began to elaborate a little more on what the real plan was, one that I just knew I was going to dread. 

“Okay, so, I’m going to have you wait until the street is empty and someone by themselves comes along. You’re going to get their attention and act like you need help. You’re going to lure them into the alley where I’ll be waiting. I’ll subdue them from there and we drive home. Simple and as easy as that.”

I knew I would. He wanted me to help him kidnap someone? Why couldn’t he do it on his own? Why did he have to do this at all? Why me? But maybe-

“If you try to run, I’ll kill them then and there, you’ll get me someone else, and you will be punished, understand?” 

I nodded. 

“Good.”

Well there went that idea. How did I think that would work anyways? He’d probably be watching me and he could trace my scent too so I’d just be leading him around. There wasn’t any way to escape unless he wasn’t around and I could somehow hide my smell. Maybe if I doused myself in something beforehand, it might work, but I was doubtful. Besides, anything like that would probably be harmful.

He turned on the radio to what sounded like lofi which set me at ease a little more. I tried to relax as much as I could with a demon next to me, taking slow, even breaths to calm down. If I did it like he asked and didn’t try to escape or warn the person, they would live longer. Albeit it would be horrible but if I refused two people would end up dead instead of one. If that was how it had to be for more people to live then so be it. I still didn’t like it, of course, but anything was good if it meant less people died. 

With that though in mind, if I stayed as Jack’s assistant then he wouldn’t kidnap anyone else. He already seemed less likely to get rid of me because I couldn’t talk and therefore couldn’t bother him much unless he gave me his phone. How many people would I save if I stayed here with him? Would I be willing to put up with all of this until one of us died? If it would save people... I had to do it, right? I could protect so many innocent bystanders, people who wanted to live their life like I wanted to live my own. They’d never have to have it be taken away from them. No one would ever know but the fact that they wouldn’t know I was going to stop thinking of ways to get away and try to keep others safe from his clutches made me feel like a secret hero. Like Mysterion from South Park, I joked in my head. Except instead of his iconic question mark symbol and underwear over his clothes I was wearing my kidnapper’s too-big sweater and sweatpants. 

I turned away from him, faced the window, sighed, and closed my eyes, letting the soft music lead me away to happier dreams. 

\--

When I woke up again we were still driving but we were in the city now. I noticed that my hood was up and I was facing towards Jack who also had his hood up and his head ducked down a little. I felt disturbed, knowing that he’d had his hands near me while I was sleeping but I realized he was also trying to keep his cover. While there were only one or two other cars on the road from time to time since it was the middle of the night, I supposed it still made sense that he would try to hide as much as he could. I sat up a little more, stretching my arms and legs in the car as much as I could. 

“Keep your head down,” Jack said quietly, almost whispering, his eerie mask never turning to look at me. I did as he said, looking more at my shoes while I searched for his phone. Funny, I could have sworn it was in my pocket. Maybe it fell out on the seat.

“I took my phone to make a few calls when you fell asleep. Here,” he mumbled, reaching into his own pocket and handing it to me. How had I not woken up?

I graciously took it and opened it up to the Bing app, going back to the text-to-speech website. “How is this gonna work? Haul the person back to your car in public?”

“Park in an alley, knock out the specimen, put them in the car there, and drive out like nothing happened,” he answered.

“Do you really have to call them ‘specimens’?”

“It’s what they are.”

“They’re humans, Jack. Not just things for you to kidnap, eat, and experiment with.”

“I’m aware. I also don’t really care.”

I huffed and went to his messenger app, inputting his username and password. Who had he called? The Jason guy to set up the cage? He had, and he’d also called Ben. I wonder what that one was about. Was I snooping? Yes. Was he a serial killer who had kidnapped me and had injured me multiple times? Yes. Did that justify my actions? Maybe. I closed out before he could get an idea of what I was doing on his phone if not typing stuff into text-to-speech, and went back to it so he didn’t get suspicious.

“So how’s it gonna work again when you send me off?” I asked him.

“I’ll be sending you with Toby, mostly because I trust him more not to hurt you if I tell him not to.” I shuddered, remembering how Toby had made jokes on how he was going to kill me. “You’ll stay with him until I come get you.” Unless he died of starvation and never came to get me, in which case we’d both be dead. At least no one else would die by his hand. 

“What’s supposed to happen while I’m with him? He’s a psycho freak like you,” I typed.

“I’m not a freak,” he snapped coldly and I instantly regretted my choice of words. “If he’s not out working then he’s either sleeping, bugging someone, or watching that shitty sitcom. You’ll be fine.”

I didn’t do anything after that, putting his phone in my pocket and waiting until he eventually found the alley he was looking for. At one point in the long stretch it opened up to two other paths and he parked in the one on the left. I got out and waited sourly, leaning against the hood of the car while he checked his pocket for his scalpel.

“Remember, wait until someone is all alone. Check both sides of the street, front and back. Lead them here. I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll be watching you from the corner,” he told me. I glared at him. Was I really about to lead someone to their demise? I must have stood for too long because he said “Get to it” with impatience.

I flipped him off as I marched to the edge of the corner at the entrance to the alley and searched for a lone person. It must have been twenty minutes of shivering in the cold air before a fellow came along on the right side of the street. He looked to be in his late twenties, and was playing with a cigarette between his lips. He had short black hair, nicely tanned skin, and a beige sweater and jeans on. He was an average guy. If only he’d stayed inside tonight. 

I needed to put on some sort of act to make sure he didn’t just think I was some crazy chick so when he was a few feet away from me I burst out running from the alley, making him jump back in surprise. I swiveled around to my left first then to my right with wide, scared eyes. 

“Woah woah woah, is everything okay, miss?” He asked, clearly concerned. He was falling for it. 

I quickly grabbed his hand, calloused and rough like he worked a lot, and led him down the alley, looking back at him with pleading eyes. He seemed to understand the panic and didn’t pull away. When we rounded the corner, Jack sprang at him but his reflexes were quick as he immediately lashed out with a fist. It connected with Jack’s face, knocking his mask off center, showing his teeth bared and part of his eye socket that was dripping tar. 

“What the f-” the man started to say. He was cut off by Jack grabbing his hair and slamming it into the wall of the building behind him. Jack did it again, more forcefully this time, and the man fell limp, his blood staining the wall. The demon was still growling and I watched in morbid horror as his gaze went from the crimson splattered on the wall to the man crumpled at his feet, sniffing the air as he licked his lips. I noticed now that his tongue was more grey than anything, matching his similarly coloured skin.  

Hadn’t Jack said that sometimes smells overwhelm him? Pair the smell of blood with a human-eating monster and the fact that he’d been starving for four days and this didn’t look good. If Jack ate this man he’d have to start over with the starving process and someone else would be roped into this. Not wanting to let someone else die, I quickly tugged on his arm, shaking my head. He stopped making the threatening noise, silence quickly enveloping us like the darkness had now that we were away from any prying eyes looking for trouble. I took the phone out with shaky hands, almost dropping it, making too many typos and going back to correct them as I typed. 

“Don’t eat him! If you do you’ll have to start over and you wouldn’t want to starve for that long, right?” I hoped he could hear the desperation in the text, the reasoning in my nonexistent voice. He looked back at the man and licked his lips again. “Jack please, please, don’t hurt him, don’t eat him. You have to wait, remember, your experiment?” Another few moments of deafening quiet passed, his eyeless gaze staring into mine until he blinked like he was waking up. Did this happen when the other side,  _ it _ , as he called it, came out? 

“I see you remembered what I said…” he muttered before straightening up and repositioning his mask. I sighed in relief. The man had sense in him. He wasn’t that crazy, thank the heavens. Well, still crazy but not as much as Jeff anyways. He likely wouldn’t hesitate to kill the poor guy. 

Jack bent down and picked him up by the shoulders, grunting as he pulled him up. I stood awkwardly as he brought him over to the car, scuffling his feet against the ground. “Can you open the door?” 

I acted quickly while he was looking at the man again, tugging open the car door. He threw the man on the seat not so elegantly so he was laying across them instead of sitting up, probably to keep anyone from seeing him. I hoped he didn’t roll over and fall off the seat. That’d be uncomfortable. Jack closed the door and nodded for me to get in the car so I went around to the passenger side. I looked back at his face when I got in and felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I had just aided in a kidnapping that would turn into a murder. I was helping murder someone innocent. Gods, what was wrong with me? To be fair, I was threatened to do it or face punishment. 

I sniffed as a tear rolled down my cheek. Jack looked over and I quickly wiped it away as another two joined it on my sleeve. Oh no, why was I crying? Now, of all times? But this man… He could have a family to go home to. They would never see him again, never reunite and gather to celebrate birthdays or holidays. I had helped to take him away from his family and destroy his life. I was just as bad as Jack now because he’d made me do it.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured softly as I hid my face behind the sleeves of my sweater, eyes squeezed shut tight as tears still wormed their way out and I took shuddery breaths. I felt his hand on my shoulder, he was  _ touching _ me, and I shook him off, turning away to look out the window. He waited another few seconds as if he was waiting for me to turn around but when I didn’t he started the car and pulled out of the alley. When we were on the street, he turned on the lofi again. The doors locked and I was painfully reminded of my first attempt to escape.

I tried to hold the tears back as much as I could, dammit I was stronger than this! Would this be a regular occurrence as Jack’s assistant? I could only hope it wasn’t. Lord knows what sniveling mess I’d be every time then. I caught the tears in the sleeves of the sweater, making parts of them fairly wet though it wasn’t visible since it was black. I needed to calm down and be strong, be calm. I could do that. Breathe, Y/N. Inhale for ten seconds, exhale for ten seconds. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. I kept repeating the action until I stopped crying, until I trusted myself to return to regular breathing without becoming a fountain again. 

Now that I’d stopped, I could feel the heaviness of my eyelids, how much they wanted to close and sleep again but I’d slept far too much recently. To try waking myself up some more, I twisted my body to still be comfortable and warm while able to look out the front window. I was surprised to see we were already in the forest though I knew it would be quite some time still until we were back at the manor. How long had I been crying? I didn’t have time to think about it since the regular silence we’d established in the car was broken by a groan in the backseat followed by the rustling of clothes moving. 

“The fuck?” The man mumbled sleepily, like he was still waking up. He had a southern accent. “Hey- wait! Who the fuck are you?!” He yelled, wide awake now that he’d seen the familiar blue mask and eerie black holes glancing back. I hunkered down in my seat but I could see him from the rear view mirror. He started tugging desperately on the car door, trying to get it open. “Let me out! What are you doing! Let me out of here!”

“Shut up,” Jack snapped, the animalistic undertone more apparent. He really liked it when there wasn’t any sound, huh?

He continued yelling though which wouldn’t be a good move on his part. I wondered if Jack was going to do anything but suddenly the man lunged at him. He slammed on the brakes and the guy lurched forward but he proved his speed again since he quickly wrapped his arm around Jack’s neck and held him to the seat. I watched, stunned, as Jack choked, clawing at his arm. Would he finally die? Would we be free? 

But, like always, my hopes were shattered. Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out the scalpel I’d forgotten about, cutting the man’s arm until he finally let go. He gasped for breath and the man seethed through his teeth, clutching his arm so tight his knuckles were white. Jack flicked his wrist out, still breathing heavily, and the scalpel was under my chin, ready to dig into my neck again. I froze and didn’t dare try to look down.

“If you do anything like that again I will slit her throat, then yours, understand?” His voice was scarily calm and collected for someone who’d just been choked. I looked out the corner of my eyes to see the man staring at me, recognizing me as the one who led him here. I silently pleaded for him to go along with it. I needed to stay alive so no one else was forced into this position. Jack was only threatening right though? He said he wouldn’t hurt or kill me unless I did something wrong. “I said, understand?” He repeated.

“Yes, yes, okay,” the man blurted out. Jack removed the scalpel but kept it in his hand as he started driving again, muttering a “Good.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and closed my eyes, sitting back against the seat. “Miss, are you okay?” He asked me. I nodded and looked at his arm, his beige sweater stained red like his hand. Did Jack have anything useful in his car? I took out his phone.

“Jack are there bandages in here?” 

“Hm? Oh, there’s some in the glove box, I think,” he said.

I opened it and just like he said, there were bandages among other papers and maps. I undid my seatbelt to help him put them on since doing it one handed would be tricky. He seemed to get the hint and rolled up his sleeve, revealing the oozing wound. I cringed at the sight of it but began wrapping it up anyways, watching as the blood soaked through the first layer easily. I did it as Jack had done mine, carefully breaking off enough to tie a knot with so it held in place. Jack had used tape on mine but I doubted he had any in the car. 

“Thanks.” He paused, looking at me, studying my face before his own darkened. “Wait. Why the hell are you helping him? You’re going to prison for this. Both of you!”

Jack chuckled, a sound I wasn’t sure I liked much. “Don’t blame her, she’s not doing it willingly.” At least he was defending me in some sense. 

“Did you kidnap her too? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? I haven’t done anything wrong!” He yelled. Did no one know that I was gone? I was just that easy to miss, huh. So inconsequential that they would brush over it like it never happened. Oh well. I’d be forgotten as time went on like this anyways. It would be best not to dwell on it for too long.

“Do you ever shut up?” Jack groaned, annoyed, which I partly understood. I wanted the man to be quiet so we could suffer through this without exchanging words, without learning more things about him that would make him look more like a person and less of someone I helped nab off the street. Jack probably wanted his quiet back.

“I’ll shut up when you let us go,” he replied. At least he had the confidence to challenge him whereas I shut up and did whatever he told me to. 

“I could always cut your tongue out,” Jack mused. 

“I’d like to see you try.” He scoffed.

“Oh, really? In that case…” Jack started slowing down and I could see the look of horror easing onto the man’s face. He hadn’t actually thought Jack would do it, had he? “Don’t run. She already learned she won’t get far and neither will you.”

As Jack brought the car to a full stop and started reaching for the handle I grabbed his arm and tugged him away from the door. He couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t let him. He opened the door anyway so I followed him out, hurrying around the side of the car to try pulling him away from the man’s door. He opened that too and I felt powerless but kept yanking on his arm. 

“Get away from me!” The man shrieked, scooting back in the seat.

I finally pulled hard enough to get Jack to stumble back and he turned around to look at me mouthing ‘please’ over and over again. He didn’t need to hurt him, he didn’t have to, he could just ignore it. He didn’t deserve any of this. If he really had to hurt someone, he should hurt me so the other man doesn’t get more than he has too. Jack leaned down a little.

“Shh, I’m just knocking him out,” he said quietly. He was only threatening and scaring him, building up a wall to make sure the man was as scared as I was. “Relax, Y/N...” Jack trailed off as he turned around to see the other car door open. The man wasn’t there. How had he gotten out without either of us noticing? A noise somewhere in-between a growl and an irritated whine found its way out of his throat as he began sniffing and following his nose around the side of the car and into the forest surrounding us. I watched as he vanished from sight, sprinting into the woods. He left me alone. 

And an idea hatched in my mind. Inspired by the man’s own attempts to harm Jack, I quickly shut all of the open doors, got in the driver side, and waited. A slight unease filled my stomach, the anxiety and stress of the situation building up. I had to do this. I had to survive. A few minutes passed before I saw the demon himself walking out of the woods, dragging the man by his wrists. He was a bit ahead on the road, perfectly in line. 

He had bit me, cut me, kidnapped me, forced me to help kidnap someone else, threatened me multiple times. He finally noticed I was in the driver side and seemed confused as to what I was doing, tilting his head to the side a little. Jack was a monster. He deserved to die.

I slammed my foot on the petal and went surging towards him. He started moving out of the way but dragging the weight of the other man with him slowed him down significantly. I was nearing him, speeding up, and he picked the guy up and threw him off to the side. He shuffled to the left but not quick enough and I hit his right side. He flew backwards a couple feet, rolling over onto his stomach as I hit the brakes. I noticed how tightly I was gripping the steering wheel, the anger turning into a mixture of fear as I saw him twitch and push up off the ground with his hands. He fell down but got up again, grabbing onto the car to pull himself up. I wanted to hit him again but he turned to look at me and his face had his shock written all over it. 

His face. His mask had gotten knocked off and had rolled to a stop by the man. He had eye sockets like I knew, tar dripping steadily from them down his cheeks, the grey skin I’d seen. I could see sharp teeth from his mouth that hung open from surprise and his brown hair fell more naturally on his face since it wasn’t pushed back by his mask. The expression only lasted a few seconds. His eyebrows furrowed, his “eyes” narrowed, and his mouth contorted into a growl like a wolf, teeth bared. I could  _ feel _ the unbridled rage coming off of him despite the barrier between us. 

I was the rabbit again, at his mercy, about to be slaughtered and I had painful memories of him biting my arm, digging into my flesh, holding me down so I couldn’t fight him.

He stalked to the door. Flung it open because I’d forgotten to lock it. Pulled me out by the front of his sweater and held me up. Looked at my paralyzed form for a solid minute, frozen, unmoving. It was the first time I’d seen him without his mask on and it would be the last. He raked over me like he was trying to figure out what to do, calculating, weighing his options though it seemed he had every possible choice to make.

He raised his arm excruciatingly slowly, almost painfully slowly, and backhanded me. My head snapped to the side, pain spiraling through my cheek as the clap faded into the night. God damn he hit hard. 

“ _ If you ever,  _ ever _ pull another fucking stunt like that I will eat you alive and send your family a video of it.”  _ He snarled in my ear. He plucked the phone out of my pocket and shoved me to the ground. “Get in the car. Now.”

I got up carefully, like one wrong step would make him turn around and bite me, make him kill me, and made my way to the passenger seat. I ambled in and shut the door with hands that shook violently, buckling the seat belt that confined me to transport to my cell, confined me to company with him. Why did I think hitting him with his car would be a good idea? How had he been able to take that? Well, it had only hit his side and not his full body like I’d intended. Not being human probably also helped. If only he’d die. If he just dropped dead me and this man could go home. Was that too much to ask? To go home?

\--

Jack had hardly said a word on the way back. He had retrieved his mask, put the unconscious man into the backseat, and began driving. When we got back to the manor, he’d thrown the screaming guy into a small round cage that sat closer to my bed. It was metal, and cold to touch. Fitting for his icy room. 

The man was rattling the bars, and his panicked shrieks hurt my ears. “Miss, miss you gotta help me out, you’re out there, can’t you get the keys or something, please, please help me get out, you have to, please,” he sobbed hopelessly. He himself was shaking, eyes wide and panicked. I could understand that and I felt sorry for him. 

Jack looked over at me from where he was going through things at his desk, watching to see what I would do, what I would tell the man I wished I could save. I turned my gaze back to the man, feeling a fresh wave of guilt fill the empty pit in my stomach. Tears pricked my eyes but I blinked them away.

“Please, my name is William, I have a daughter, please, I need to go home to her, just let me out!” 

I’d stolen a father from his daughter. 

I wanted to offer him comfort, tell him I too had been taken from my life, but I wasn’t sure how much I could communicate if he was only reading my lips. I scanned the metal tables, grabbed a pen and pencil, and started writing “I’m sorry I can’t do anything to help you” but Jack snatched them both from my hands. I tried to take them back but he held them above his head so I couldn’t reach. 

“No.” He said sternly, putting them back on the table. The man screamed for help again and I tried to get his attention with my hands, mouthing words if I couldn’t write. I doubted he knew ASL. 

Jack ambled up behind me and I realized too late to move away from him. His hand found its way under my chin and he tilted my head back, placing a strip of duct tape over my mouth. He was making sure I couldn’t communicate, making sure I knew I couldn’t do anything to help, that I was powerless. Next, he rubbed his thumb over the bruise forming where he’d hit me, he was touching me. It throbbed and I instinctively flinched away from him but he moved my head back, thumbing over it again before he let go. I scrambled up onto my bed and he stared for too long before going back to what he was doing. I fought to tear away the tape, to silently scream with my fellow victim.

William continued to cry out, sobbing, and when putting my hands over my ears didn’t stop it from invading my ear drums I burrowed myself under the thin sheets of the bed and pulled the pillow over my head. He kept on going like his voice would never falter and every shout sent me closer to tears. It was getting hot under the sheets and pillow and harder to breath but would it really matter if I passed out? At least I’d escape the noise.

“Shut up!” Jack yelled, tone sharp enough to cut through my steadily hazing thoughts. William paused and then let out the loudest one yet. Something hit metal and William yelped, the fear audible. “Pipe down, you’re killing my ears.”

“Good,” William snarked, faulty confidence wavering. He was trying to sound okay, trying to sound like he knew he’d make it out alive. I think he had figured out he wasn’t going to but he was holding onto the slim thread of hope, the one in a billion chance he got out.

“You really are just asking for me to hurt you.”

“You’re nothing but empty threats.”

“Empty threats? Oh, no. God no.” Jack laughed, sounding a little crazy but I wouldn’t put it past him to be. “You wanna say it’s an empty threat? Come here, let me carve your tongue out and I’ll prove it to you… You can’t get away, just hold still.”

I heard a lock click and I trembled. Oh god he was really doing it. William screamed and it was cut off for a few moments before coming out strangled. I figured that Jack was choking him but a louder, even more strained one took its place and he made a gurgling noise. He whimpered and the bars rattled and Jack snarled.

“Stop fucking moving around.”

I pulled the pillow down tighter, bunched up, curled into a ball as I listened to William’s tongue get cut out. I didn’t want to listen to this, no, no this was horrible and wrong. I did anything to take my mind off of what was happening a few feet away from me but I couldn’t stop listening.

Jack must have tightened his grip because the noises stopped. I cringed as something hit the floor with a wet plop. 

“Want to tell me I make empty threats again? Oh, you can’t, can you? Keep quiet, okay?” Jack said. He didn’t sound like he was joking, instead sneering and making it clear that he wasn’t to be taken lightly. Just another reminder of the horrible fate we’d been given. The lock clicked again and William groaned, defeated.

Despite my gut telling me not to, I took the pillow off of my head and rose from the sheets, taking a deep breath of fresh air, welcoming the change in temperature for once. I hardly got a glimpse of the mess on the floor before I was racing to the bathroom and ripping off the duct tape to vomit into the toilet. I heaved up the Hot Pocket I’d eaten earlier and then choked up bile. I held onto the toilet seat, gripping it while the taste ran bitter in my mouth. I spit to try and get as much of it out as I could before I felt confident that if I stood up I wouldn’t feel the urge again. I flushed the toilet and turned the knob on the sink faucet. Frigid water poured out and I graciously scooped it into my hands and washed out the inside of my mouth. I sighed with relief when I no longer tasted vomit on my tongue and turned off the water. I looked up at the mirror and jumped when I saw Jack standing behind me. I wondered how long he’d been watching me for, how much he’d seen, how he’d gotten so close without me noticing. He’d taken off his sweater, revealing the white t-shirt underneath. His hands had blood on them, some of it having rubbed off onto the bottom of his shirt. He was blocking the doorway so I shifted to the side of the bathroom and he washed his hands. 

“Toby’s coming to get you soon. Do you want to eat something before he gets here?” He asked me nonchalantly, drying his hands. He held it out to me because I’d forgotten to dry mine. I didn’t take it and wiped my hands on my sweatpants. I take anything from him unless I absolutely needed to. He shrugged and put it away. “Come on, aren’t you hungry?” The demon took a step towards me, and I took one back, as seemed to be the fashion nowadays when facing murderous psychopaths, but I hit the tub and stumbled. I almost fell backwards but Jack’s arm shot out and he was pulling me away just as fast. I half-heartedly mouthed a “thank you” and righted myself properly, uncomfortable being this close to him. He was still an arm’s length away but that hand was touching me, on my arm that was covered by his sweater. I ducked my head.

Why was he still touching me. I wanted him to move his hand, to get away from me but he didn’t. Instead he sniffed the air and I stiffened. Oh god, were the smells getting to him? The blood from William again, he was scared, I was scared. I gulped nervously. He stuck his face right into mine and I reeled back at the sudden intrusion. Personal space had never seemed to exist with him. He sniffed again, pushing his mask to the side a little to make it easier. I eased his hand off of me and he reached out like he was going to put it back but stopped midway. He hummed and leaned back, thankfully. I wondered what the point of that had been. Maybe he was sniffing to see what I smelled like better, maybe to simply intimidate me, maybe something else I simply didn’t understand.

“You can either eat or I’m putting duct tape back on and you can look at him and listen to him,” Jack said. Two options. One was obviously better than the other and I mouthed “eat”, despite not knowing if I was going to stomach anything. “Alright. Come on.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT A/N: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF RAPE AND INCLUDES SEXUAL HARASSMENT. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

**If you have not read the note at the beginning, please do before continuing to read the chapter. Thank you, and enjoy.**

I averted my eyes from William, following Jack upstairs. I closed the door behind us, thankful that the low moans of pain from my fellow victim were finally gone. It sounded terrible to want to get away from him when I helped kidnap and lead him to his demise but it wasn’t my fault. It was totally fine for me to want to get away from that, right? We walked into the kitchen with it’s glamorous dark cabinets to match the floor and I pulled from memory the cabinet that had bowls and the other that had cereal. Jack leaned against the doorframe, head tilted up but if I looked better I could see that his eyes were closed. His chest rose and fell evenly and if he’d been laying down I would’ve assumed he was sleeping. 

He must have felt me staring, those little pricks of someone-is-watching, and cracked open an eye. I went back to my bowl, pouring in Frosted Flakes and getting milk from the fridge to make one delicious bowl of cereal. I retrieved a spoon and heard the cabinet next to me open with a small squeak of protest. Jack was pulling out a forest green coffee cup but happened to be boxing me in. I waited until he moved rather than push past him. 

While I ate, he prepared coffee. I glanced at the clock on the stove. 1:37 A.M. I almost questioned why he would make coffee at this god-forsaken hour but took into account the absolutely horrid sleep schedule I’d established from whenever he slept and whenever we were in the car and it made more sense. If he was anything like me now, he slept whenever it was convenient and didn’t really matter. I remembered the paper about the last time he’d starved himself- he probably still needed to set up his cameras so he’d know what had happened while “it” was in control and needed the energy boost. 

The front doors, the glossy French ones I actually admired for looking so polished and grand, swung open and in strode Toby, an axe with dried blood on it in his hand. He looked like a madman, brown hair messy and sticking up, cyan hood half on his head, brown striped sweater splattered with blood, and grass stains on his jeans. Orange goggles were pushed up onto his forehead, giving way to brown eyes so dark they could be black, and the mouth guard I’d seen him with the first time I’d met him after running into the woods was around his neck, a ghost of a gleeful grin on his lips. He wasn’t breathing hard so he must have driven back. Made more sense since we were hours from civilization. 

“Gonna go change real quick,” he chirped. Jack hummed in response and went back to his coffee, watching it drip steadily into the coffee pot while Toby clambered up the stairs. His footsteps faded down the halls. 

We stood around in silence, me eating, and Jack waiting. He eventually pulled out his phone and tapped for a few minutes, pausing to scratch the back of his head. He set it down on the counter when the machine beeped, signaling his beverage was ready. He poured it into his mug slowly, like he was fascinated with the way it moved, the way gravity took it’s hold on everything and dragged it down. 

This was too casual for my liking. Eating in their kitchen while he made coffee and texted on his phone- too normal. It was how the movie couples look, waking up happy with their significant other and getting ready in the morning in a white and pastel coloured house that was nicely decorated with family pictures and potted plants, little knick-knacks scattered on the mantle of the fireplace, the news on in the other room, trickling in just enough to make for nice background noise. Except I wasn’t happy and to Jack I was nothing more than an assistant that could be disposed of if need be, and we were in a manor filled with employed murderers, and nothing was okay. 

He pushed his mask up instead of to the side and took a long sip. He hadn’t added any creamer or anything, just straight coffee. Maybe he couldn’t use creamer because it made him sick. He sighed contentedly and set the mug down, repositioning his mask just as footsteps became more noticeable. They tramped down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

Toby had come back without the goggles or mouth guard, wearing a blue t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. His arms were littered with faded scars. 

“Reporting for duty, Jacky,” he announced with a rather violent twitch, looking at the rest of the coffee with a certain gleam in his eyes that I didn’t like. 

“Mhm. Just… you know I want,” Jack grumbled, running a hand through his hair before picking up his mug. “I’ll be back in a few days,” he said to me before stalking back to his room. The basement door locked with a click and my attention turned to Toby as he poured himself a cup. 

I was spending the next couple of days with him, a psychotic killer that I knew nothing about. At least with Jack I knew why he was here. I was positive Jack had mentioned some things about Toby in his story but I couldn’t recall specifics at the moment. I finished off my cereal and rinsed out the bowl in the sink. I didn’t know if the dishwasher was clean or dirty but it was full anyways so I stacked my dishes on top of others already in the other side of the sink. 

When I turned off the faucet Toby was no longer in the kitchen, instead lounging on one of the black leather couches, reaching for the remote. Oh boy, another Karol and Co. marathon. The show wasn’t half-bad, I’d give it that much, but you can only listen to a laugh track for so long. I nestled into the other couch so I wasn’t too close to Toby and watched it with him. It was nice having a break from the madness, watching tv like I would back in my dorm room. I missed it. I missed the messy place, the books and papers covering the floor and desk, sweaters and t-shirts thrown lazily on my bed, socks hiding under the bed. I missed waking up early, stressed about the assignment I’d forgotten to do and trying desperately to get it done before the class started. I missed the normalcy of life, the every-day things we do and don’t miss until they’re taken away from us.

Like my habits were, I started getting drowsy. Thinking about this stuff made me want to sleep the problems away, like if I was unconscious long enough I’d forget all about it and be okay with being around these people. Maybe I would lapse into a coma and wake up in a few years and no one else would have been enslaved. I burrowed into the couch more, trying to get into the mindset of sleeping since it was so easy to do nowadays. Episode after episode, pointless escapades that did nothing to contribute to the character’s development and lame jokes and eventually it lulled me to sleep, warm in my spot, more at ease not being in the same room as an animal like Jack. 

\--

“Hellooooooooooooooo” someone said in my ear. I snapped my eyes open, unaware of what was happening. Jeff’s horrendous white face loomed in front of mine, the scabbed smile growing when he saw that I’d woken up. His lidless eyes stared into mine as he pushed himself off the couch. He looked right above me and I followed his gaze to see Ben, the dead tech kid. The blonde clambered over to sit next to me on the arm of the couch. I scooted away from him and his black and red eyes because they all have eye issues and it’s frightening at first glance. Ben wasn’t a murderer though, if I remembered correctly. He just handled situations against the government and anyone else looking into them. He was still working with them but at least he wasn’t actively killing people. At least I hoped so. I would never really know. Maybe he did it as a side gig. 

I looked to the other couch to see if Toby was still there and he was, watching his show still. How long had we been here?

“I wonder what it is ‘bout ya that makes Jack keep you around. He goes through his little assistants so fast, only really keeps them around for a few weeks if they’re good,” Jeff mused, eyes trailing over me. I’d forgotten he raped people, the girl that Jack had given him. I had the urge to pull something over me, a blanket or towel, even though the sweatpants and sweater didn’t show any particularly appealing curves he might be attracted to. It’s not like I could easily get up and go grab one anyways. “Hey Ben, what’s the scoop on her?”

Ben stared at me, went completely still for a few moments, his chest showing no signs of breathing, his eyes glazing over before he seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in. His voice was ragged and he coughed every now and then. They sounded wet and I tried to place if he was the drowned one. I was forgetting the smaller details of Jack’s story. “Y/N, college student, mute due to aphonia, interesting little story there, not a big online presence, not too much family in the area. Went missing. Little search efforts since it’s speculated you’re with one of us.” He gave me a lopsided shit-eating grin at that, like it was a funny joke. “Hmm… Not much response from the community. Sure, they’re sad but it’s just another missing person. It happens all the time with us here. They’re used to it. It’s nothing new. You simply don’t matter. Aside from your parents of course. They’re very distraught.” His eyes glazed over again. “Your mom’s crying in your dad’s arms right now, actually. How cute, they’re hugging each other, trying to reassure themselves that you’re coming home, that you’ll be the lucky one that escapes.” He laughed, an evil raspy sound and Jeff snorted. 

A fiery rage filled me. How dare he look at my parents! I didn’t even know if he was telling the truth though. He could be lying to me to get me upset. Little bastard. He wasn’t as intimidating as Jack or Jeff or Toby and even though two of them were only a few feet away I found myself inclined to hit Ben. Unlike Jack, they wouldn’t bite me and lose themselves in doing it, accidentally killing me in the process. 

My fists clenched and when he said something I didn’t catch to Jeff then gave me a smug smile I couldn’t stop myself. Before I knew what I was doing I was leaping and tackling him to the cream coloured rug. He swore and I landed on top of him, sitting on his stomach. I slammed my fist into his nose, hitting him over and over again while he struggled to get me off of him. I brought my hands together and with a silent scream brought them down on his face. I emptied every last bit of rage I’d emulated, my anger at Jack for kidnapping me, for kidnapping William, for eating people, for their Boss for employing murderers, for Jeff raping people, for Toby for mindlessly killing people without a second thought, for Ben for so easily looking into my personal life and watching my parents. I rained my fury on him, emptied every contained feeling I’d been shoveling aside for this long. 

“Enough!” He shouted so sharply I hesitated, and in that small window of time he shoved me off of him and climbed over me, pinning my wrists to the ground. Ben caught his breath, jaw clenched tight. He breathed angrily through his bleeding nose and suddenly something felt very wrong. 

Panic filled me as quickly as that something filled my chest. I choked, gasping for breath. He was filling my lungs with water somehow, I recognized the feeling from accidentally breathing in a pool when I was younger. I thrashed in his grip, kicking my legs out, managing to lift my torso up a few times before he pushed back and made sure I stayed and endured this torture. Was he going to kill me? He glared, his anger matching my own as he watched me struggle. I coughed violently, trying to snatch up a bit of oxygen. I turned to the side and water trickled out of my mouth as I gagged, trying to expel it from my body. I was going to die, oh god this is how I would die, drowning inflicted by a dead teenager looking me in the eyes while he drained the life from me. 

Yet after another few traumatizing seconds, he finally let go of me, sitting up and shifting his weight so he wasn’t completely crushing me. The feeling quickly receded and I took in huge gulps of air. I’d never wanted it more and I coughed away the remnants of the near-death experience. I looked over Ben’s shoulder and saw Jeff holding out his phone like he’d recorded the whole thing- he probably had- and Toby watching intently from the couch, sitting up straight and twitching now and again. 

Ben’s face contorted into an ugly look after another coughing fit. “You know what she’s scared of the most Jeff?”  _ What was he doing. _ Anxiety replaced water, and I propped myself up on my elbows, kicking my legs again to try and get him off of me. He wouldn’t. 

“Getting raped and not being able to cry out for help.”

Dread filled me, washing in and mixing with the anxiety to make a monster I simply wasn’t equipped to handle. He couldn’t possibly have known that. How? Tears welled up in my eyes and I pushed Ben backwards to wedge my legs out and scramble up onto unsteady legs. He wouldn’t rape me. Not here. Not now. A long laugh track played from the tv, the show forgotten by even Toby.

“Oh, is she now? I do like fighters,” Jeff said, pocketing his phone. He took a slow step towards me, calculating, dragging his crazed gaze over me. I froze and then remembered even though he was bad, he wasn’t as bad as Jack it seemed. I could fight him. He was still human, I thought. I had managed to overpower Ben for a while. With the adrenaline still in my veins maybe I could overpower Jeff too. I needed to fight back. Or as much as I could anyways, as Jeff quickly had me against a wall.

I put my hands flat on his chest and used everything in me to get him away. He stumbled back but regained himself. I hit him square in the jaw and he rubbed the spot thoughtfully while I ignored my stinging knuckles, worn from the hammering usage of them on Ben. 

“You hit hard. Not hard enough though,” he rasped out, spinning me around and taking my wrists to force my hands against the wall. I twisted my body around in an uncomfortable pose, stretching my muscles in ways I wasn’t used to, as tears dripped onto the dark wood floor, accompanied by shaking breaths. He moved my arms so he could hold my wrists with one hand. The other one snaked its way under Jack’s sweater and my shirt, cupping my breasts. I briefly thought about giving up, letting him have his way because it was clear I wouldn’t get out of this but then I remembered what I had to do, what I had to show. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t going to let this happen. I twisted again, trying to get him away from there. He did it anyways, fondling them for a minute. I opened my mouth and screamed and no sound came out and I felt more hopeless now that I had three minutes ago. Emotions are a weird thing. Going from beating them up and feeling powerful, to dying at their hands hopelessly, to defying them and fighting back, to feeling powerless and giving up. Being drowned is one thing. Being raped is another. I couldn’t handle either of them. But who could?

His disgusting hands went from my breasts to my navel, trailing down into my pants, lighting nerves on fire that set off too many warning alarms in my head. I closed my legs. He used his knee to wedge them apart enough for him to slip his hand down further. He pressed his crotch against my ass, grinding against me. I jumped and tried to duck down or forwards, to get away from him but I had nowhere to go. Anytime I moved, I ended up rubbing him the wrong way and he snickered before burying his head in my neck. His fingers teased, dipping down just to pull back up before he touched too low. I tried to hold myself still, tried not encourage him more as he sucked ravenously on the side of my neck not covered by a bandage. Just as he touched  _ there _ , invaded me in ways I couldn’t process, his hand was yanked out, the other one letting go of my wrists. 

“That’s enough.”

I turned around, body pressed tight against the wall, legs glued together, tears streaming down my face. Toby had pulled Jeff away, finally taking a course of action to fucking help me. Jeff looked somewhat pissed off, scowling because he wasn’t getting his way. Ben was watching off to the side, still glaring as bruises started colouring his face. It was his fault. He said that to Jeff, he suggested it. He almost got me raped. I’d never wanted to hit anyone more, never wanted to kill someone more. 

“Upstairs, c’mon,” Toby said, nodding his head to the stairs before I could act and get myself into more trouble. 

“Geez, you’re lame,” Jeff whined, watching me chase after the man who’d saved me. He turned to his companion. “You’re a fucking pussy, I’m sending that video to the entire house.”

“I control the system, just try to get that past me and I’ll corrupt every file on your phone and leak your search history,” Ben threatened. 

I followed Toby down the hall to the left of the stairs and then to the right at another split. He stopped at the fifth door, one door among the many lining the walls (how could this manor support that many people?), opening it to reveal his absolute mess of a room. It looked like mine but ten times worse. Clothes sat in unholy mounds and reeked, his bloodied clothes were sitting on his bed and the axe he’d had earlier was carelessly tossed in the middle of the floor while a second one peeked out from underneath the bed. A futon was pushed into the opposite corner of the room, rivaling the bed. A dresser was on the right wall, a hamper pushed next to it that was overflowing with clothes. How many did he own? Better question- how many were clean compared to the rest?

I peeked into the bathroom which was surprisingly neat compared to the rest of his room while wiping tears from my eyes. The only misplaced thing was a tube of toothpaste that had been knocked over. I tapped his shoulder to get his attention and mouthed “shower” pointing at the bathroom. 

“Oh, sure. There should be a towel already in there. I’m gonna go to bed so you can sleep on the futon when you’re done,” he said nonchalantly. Wow, he certainly cared a lot that I had almost been raped. 

I turned around and hobbled my way into the bathroom, feeling dirty. I stripped and turned on the water. While I waited for it to get warm, I looked at myself in the mirror, studied my features, looked at where he touched. I would get through this. He hadn’t gone all the way. I was okay. I was fine. I was strong. I repeated this mantra as I studied the red mark on my neck. 

He had touched me, touched me with filthy hands used to murder innocent people, used to rape innocent people. Cereal came up and I swallowed it back down, as distasteful as it sounds. I was okay. I was fine. I was strong.

I carefully unwrapped the bandages on my arm, setting them on the toilet seat so that when I was done I could rewrap them. The bites were healing nicely at least, hadn’t been too bothersome lately. I took the one on my neck off too, studying that part and not Jeff’s mark. The bite was similar to most of the ones on my arm, not bad enough that he’d used stitches but still there. I shuddered at the memory of feeling him tug on it, trying to tear free that part of me so he could eat it. 

Before I could indulge in the thought too much and spiral myself into a place I didn’t want to be in, I checked the shower temperature. It was finally warm and I stepped in, holding my injured arm out so it didn’t get too much water on it. I wasn’t going to wash anything, I just wanted to get rid of the sensation of Jeff touching me. There wasn’t much I could do about the neck bite and it hurt a little from the water pressure. 

What would I tell Jack when he came back? Would he be angry at me for fighting Ben? Or would he be angry at Jeff for doing things to his assistant? Maybe he’d be mad at Toby for not doing “what he wants”. How many times had Toby watched people for Jack that he could just say that and Toby would know what his rules were? Too many questions but everything that happened in this god-forsaken house raised questions. 

In a weird way, I almost missed being in the basement. The only threat was Jack but he usually kept to himself, constantly writing up papers. I didn’t have to worry about getting raped. I hardly had to worry about food and water either since if Jack forgot then I’d gently remind him before my stomach did. There wasn’t any chance for me to escape so I didn’t try anything and thus didn’t get hurt for it. Sure, I’d gotten myself into other trouble from my choice of words but I took it as a learning experience. What did he like and what didn’t he like? He didn’t like being called a “freak” though he was one, so I’d keep that to my thoughts. He didn’t like much sound, didn’t like disobedience. He liked biology, as evident by his library of textbooks, liked knowing how things worked. He didn’t like “it”.

Speaking of “it”... I wondered how William was doing. I wondered if Jack had gone full animal yet and torn him to pieces. Or maybe he wasn’t able to get through the bars and he’d die so William would die alone and then Toby would kill me. 

Toby. Right. I was in his room, still in the shower. I quickly turned the water off, fingers pruny from losing track of time and going down my own rabbit hole of questions, different outcomes of situations. Hah. Rabbits. Today’s wolf: Jeff.

I took the towel off of the rack, the one he’d said was in here, and dried off quickly, shivering in the slightly cold air of the bathroom, making sure to pat dry my arm and neck so as not to aggravate the wounds. I put on my undergarments first, pulling up panties and hooking my bra. Pulled on my sweatpants and took the mound of bandages from the toilet seat. I took my time rewrapping my arm just as snugly as it had been before, reattaching the tape once I was satisfied with it. It wasn’t as good as Jack had done it but for a one-handed job I’d say I’d done decently well. I dressed the rest of me: shirt, black sweater, and socks, putting the neck bandage on again. I ruffled my hair with the towel to get it as dry as possible before hanging it back up where it had been and stepping out of the bathroom. 

His room was a lot warmer than Jack’s, something I greatly appreciated as I turned the bathroom light off. Darkness quickly enveloped the room and when my eyes finally adjusted with help of the setting moon (I was really going to bed at the crack of dawn, screw my sleep schedule) I could see Toby fast asleep curled up on his bed. One hand was tucked under the pillow and a blanket had been half-heartedly thrown onto his lower half. I glanced at the futon and was about to make my way over to it when something else glinting in the moonlight caught my eye instead. I went over to his dresser and saw the tip of a knife poking out from beneath a red shirt. I carefully pulled it out so I didn’t cut myself and studied it. It was nothing more than a knife. Simple blade, black handle. But it was a weapon. I pocketed it so I could use it against Jeff or maybe even Jack if he got too close again. I briefly considering murdering Ben but he was already dead so I wasn’t doing much. I could kill Toby and escape but it’s not like I knew where any car keys were to drive out because walking to a main road would take far too long. Besides, Jeff and Ben could still be downstairs and I was not okay with leaving if that was the case. I sighed and trudged over to the futon, laying down. It was a lot comfier than the hospital bed and before I closed my eyes I made sure I wouldn’t accidentally stab myself in my sleep. What better way to drown out your thoughts and emotions of almost being sexually assaulted than sleeping as much as a sloth every day? I was all ears for suggestions.

\--

I woke up after Toby, opening my eyes to the rhythmic sounds of the shower running. I stretched out on the futon, limbs protesting but it felt good anyways. Sunlight streamed in through the window, bright enough for me to know it was the middle of the day. I vaguely felt like a teenager in the summer again, staying up to 2am to chat with friends only to sleep the day away, much to the displeasure of my parents. I snuggled up in my sweater, savouring this peaceful moment and letting myself wake up slowly and get used to everything. I didn’t have to think about this morning at all. It meant nothing. It never happened. 

When Toby was finally done, taking forever in the shower though I’d done the same so I couldn’t really talk, he threw his towel unceremoniously on his bed. His hair was already sticking up in various places, defying gravity despite being wet. He’d put on different pajamas, really the same style, just different colours. 

“You gonna stop staring or…?” He mumbled sleepily, a yawn accompanying him. I blinked and got up, regretting it because I really wanted to sleep in that comfortable bed again. We went downstairs, passing a little girl on the way. I shivered, remembering that dead children stayed here. She had looked innocent enough. I wondered what had gone so wrong for her to end up here amongst these murderers.

Toby went and plopped himself right down in front of the tv again, spreading himself out, flipping it to Karol and Co. Seriously, didn’t the guy have variety in his life? I imagined this show would get stale after a while but from what little of the info page I saw, there were twenty-two seasons, more than enough to keep him occupied for a while. I went back to my spot on the couch, the one I’d been in last night, and settled but not nearly as much as the last time. Part of me knew to stay alert, in case something happened. And as my luck turned out to be, something did. 

About an hour into the show, Toby chuckling at the shitty jokes and corny remarks quite often, someone came down the stairs. Two people actually, now that I listened better. Two people. I knew two people. I didn’t dare look, because if it was them I could call unwanted attention. They passed into the kitchen and my suspicions were confirmed. Ben’s cough gave it away, followed by murmurs of Jeff’s voice. They would just leave without incident, nothing needed to happen, nothing at all. We were all perfectly fine just the way we were. A broken group of people who were here for employment, me included. There was nothing that meant we had to talk to each other and certainly acknowledging each other was the same deal. What was the term? Coexist, that’s right. We were all coexisting in this particular environment. 

My pitiful attempt at comforting myself was cut short when a sharp banging sound became audible. Both Toby and I’s heads looked for the source and the chatter in the kitchen stopped too. A scream followed not too long after another bang. 

I realized what was happening. 

“It” was here and “it” was starving. Jack was probably trying to break into the cage. God, William was down there, his tongue cut out and screaming as a feral animal tried to attack him and I was up here, fed, showered, and watching tv. And I felt bad for myself. 

I painfully recalled my own small glimpse of “it”, Jack biting my neck, and I subconsciously rubbed the bandage there, trying to imagine what William was going through. How scared he must be. How he would never see his daughter again. How he would never see the stars or take a deep breath of fresh air or eat his favourite foods. I’d dragged him into this. He didn’t deserve to be down there, I did for making him endure this. 

I hardly noticed I was crying, really only taking note of it when another bang and scream sounded and I flinched.

“God damn what is he  _ doing _ down there?” Jeff groaned, annoyed, walking into the living room. His eyes landed on me and lit up with sick glee. I shrunk back.

“Hmmm… He has cameras down there, I can feel them. I could put it up on the tv,” Ben suggested, body racking with a hard cough. His face was all shades of purple, bruised especially around his nose. He glared at me like he was silently promising more vengeance. He probably was. 

“Don’t interrupt my show,” Toby interjected.

“Fuck your show, you watch that shit too much. Do it Ben,” Jeff said, egging on the elf. 

His eyes glazed over and the tv went black for a few seconds before the feed of the cameras Jack was supposed to have set up in his room came up. 

They displayed the room in disarray, the table and chairs overturned, several papers on the floor, Jack’s mask on the other side of the room as he repeatedly hit the cage with his fists, growling. I couldn’t see his face as his back was turned at the moment. Wherever Jack was, William was backed up to the exact opposite end, moving in tandem with him to get away from him. When Jack sprung around to the other side I saw his bared teeth, like he was showing off exactly what he was going to use to eat William with. It was a nice strategy that William used, but it didn’t last long. I found myself unable to tear my eyes away, horribly captivated, feeling sick, when Jack moved so quickly he managed to grab William’s arm through the bar and pull it to him. William screamed and fought for his limb, fighting to take it back from the demon in front of him, but not before Jack was sinking his teeth into it, his growl muffled then silent. He tugged and ripped ravenously until the chunk was free and red stained his shirt as he quickly chewed and swallowed before going back in for another bite. William tried pushing Jack’s head away and after a second hard push he managed to knock him back enough to snatch his arm. Jack, ever quick to regain his composure, was almost immediately slamming his fist on the bars again, craving more of the food he ate as he circled William again. 

“The fuck is he doing?” Jeff said, confusion plastered on his face. Guess Jack hadn’t told him but he probably wouldn’t talk to him much since neither of them seemed to like the other. “Is this why she’s up here?” He nodded in my direction, looking at Toby who frowned. 

“I don’t answer to you,” he stated plainly, twitching right as Ben coughed. 

William backed up against the far side of the cage as Jack repeatedly hit the door. He must have figured out where he was getting in from and was trying to open it. I came closer and closer to tears, a sob working its way up my throat, making it hard to breathe right. 

“What’s wrong? Scared, sweetheart?” Ben mocked, suddenly in my face, beady red eyes staring into mine. “Jack makes you scared, right? Wonder what would happen if I told him you go through his messages... Don’t look so shocked. I saw him reading through our messages, wondered what he was up to, looked through the camera, and saw you going through them instead. It’s awfully mean to look through someone’s conversations.”

He had absolutely no right to say that when he had looked through my things and seen my parents. No right. Zero. Nonexistent. I blinked the tears away, the fear of Jack’s savagery overshadowed by hot anger that filled my being. Little shit thought he was all that- I’d show him what for. 

His eyes drifted down to glance at my clenched fists. “Hit me again and watch what happens. Go on, do it,” he teased. “What? Too scared? Can’t even move? Heh, knew you were a weak thing...”

Weak?  _ Weak? _ Ohohoho, did he have another thing coming.  _ I _ was weak? I was the one who’d endured all of this, not him. I was the one living with a demon, the one who’d almost been raped and was in the same room as the two that had instigated it, the one in a house full of murderers. Weak? Hell no. 

The look of shock on his face as I uppercut him, then stood up so I could shove him to the ground again. Jeff laughed maniacally and I couldn’t tell if it was at me for getting worked up or at Ben for getting hit again. Either way, I wasn’t done with the crap below me. As soon as he rolled over to get up I dropped down, fisted my hand in his hair, and slammed his head on the ground. I scrambled over his back so he couldn’t get up easily and continued to smash it. After a few more anger filled hits, I relaxed, breathing heavily, getting off of Ben. He didn’t move and I was scared for a second that I had killed him. But glancing at Jeff who had his phone out again and then looking back to Ben, I could see his chest rising and falling. I’d knocked him out. He had  _ nothing _ on me. I felt strong, powerful, like I could take on Jack or Jeff and hold my ground, real confidence that I could endure this for the rest of my life. 

Toby grabbed my wrist and started pulling me towards the stairs as the tv went to static, then to Karol and Co. Ben’s link from the camera to the tv must have fizzled out. Jeff didn’t seem to notice or care that he wasn’t getting answers about Jack, too busy wheezing at the unconscious dead boy in front of him. Toby grumbled something under his breath that I didn’t catch, and turned down the hallways. I thought we were going to his room since every corridor looked the same in the manor but I recognized these twists and turns were different. A little girl’s voice could be heard from one of the rooms and I shivered. Dead children everywhere. Toby came to an abrupt stop in front of another door clone, knocking on it. Where were we? 

“Who is it?” A voice sounded from inside the room. 

“Toby,” he said.

“Come in.”

Toby turned the door handle and I was greeted to two people I recognized. I tried to place their names… Tim and… I believe it was Brian? I could remember the sideburns and dark hair on Tim and Brian’s yellow hoodie from when he got in my face. They were sitting on a bed with blue sheets, Brian with his legs stretched out and Tim’s crossed. They had game controllers in their hands. A computer monitor faced towards them revealed some sort of two player fighting game that was currently paused. Toby nudged me inside since I’d stood there in the doorway and closed the door behind us. 

The bed was pushed up against the back right corner of the room and the monitor was on the dresser with a few shirts piled around it. A desk sat next to the bed, a few books stacked up, two more game controllers, and Tim’s mask on it. Posters for various bands adorned the walls, a few that I recognized. Man had good taste. 

“What’s she doing here?” Tim asked, looking me over. I couldn’t tell if he liked me here or not though I would go with the latter since I could’ve been invading their space or whatever.

“I’m watching her, making sure she doesn’t die or anything,” Toby replied with a shrug. 

“Oh. So whatdya want?” 

“Hang out for a bit. Jeff and Ben crashed my party and I don’t want to deal with Ben’s pissy attitude right now.” Toby sounded annoyed and I could agree. Ben was pissy.

Brian grunted, shifting around where he was. “What’d he do?”

“More like what  _ she _ did,” Toby gave a pointed glare in my direction like I’d been the one to start the fight. Ben had antagonized me first! I was just retaliating. 

“Oh?” Tim hummed, interested.

“She pummeled him last night and just knocked him out. He’s gonna be pissed when he wakes up and I don’t need Jack mad at me right now,” Toby grumbled. I wondered why that was.

Both of them started laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Tim even snorted before he calmed down. “Finally, someone shows the brat a thing or two. I’d do it myself but contracts are a tricky thing. He thinks that just because he controls the system he’s all that and a bag of chips but he hides behind loose threats and search histories for backup.”

“Yea well, he almost drowned her before telling Jeff to rape her,” Toby said.

“He’s using Jeff too?” Brian asked. Toby nodded. “Kid’s more deluded than I thought, Jeff’ll never do anything for him. So, did he rape her?”

“No. He got grabby but if Jack found out I let her get raped and that stopped her from doing whatever, he’d make sure I get hell for it.”

“Really? What does he see in her that makes her worth something?” Tim talked as if I wasn’t right here. She looks okay, nothing special. Jeff said she tried to run off a few times so she can’t be much help to him.”

“She’s mute.” Toby said matter-of-factly.

“So?”

“He doesn’t like a lot of noise. She can’t make any so she’s good to keep around.”

“That’s a shame. The screaming is the best part.” Brian mused.

“That’s what I said! Anyways, what are you two fucknuts playing?” 

Brian reached for the game case by his feet and held it close to read it better. “Uh… Combat City. I think you can do three-player in an arena. Wanna play?” 

“Hell yea.” Toby snatched a controller from the desk and sat on the edge of the bed. I took a seat in the desk chair and watched them play, happy that for once in the past two days no one was trying to hurt me or even really paying attention to me. 

They played for what felt like hours and probably was. Toby won most of the fights, earning quite a few curses from Tim that actually made me laugh a bit. Toby would always play the same character, a buff guy with spiky purple hair but Tim and Brian would choose different characters every round to see if one worked better to kill Toby’s character. I almost forgot they murdered as a job. This was a nice change of pace, one that I wished would last forever.

It didn’t though.

There was a sharp rap on the door. “Toby are you in here?” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to get out!!! I have midterms and stuff, school suddenly dumped more work on me, and I shit you not, I rewrote this chapter 6 times. 6 TIMES!!! Also to put this in perspective: my usual chapter is like 7 pages. This is 16. I hope you guys like it and are excited as I am for what's coming. ^^ Sorry again for the wait.

I glanced up at Jack from my book, the one I’d set down when we had gone to get William. 

Jack had obviously noticed the mark on my neck and Toby had mostly explained what I’d done. I had wanted to interject with my own thoughts and rationalizations but they didn’t give me much room to do so, so I had stood, arms crossed angrily. I should be talking about this, not the guy who only helped me because he didn’t want to deal with an angry Jack! 

But that didn’t happen of course, as the victims in this house hardly get a say in the matter. Jack had taken me back downstairs and into the basement. I’d hesitated at the top, not knowing if William’s mangled and bloody corpse would be waiting for me. I stood there, clinging to the railing until Jack managed to convince me otherwise that it was safe and I wouldn’t throw up. The only things on the floor were cleaning supplies. Even the cage was gone and I could see two cameras on his desk. He’d cleaned up rather quickly in those few hours and I wouldn’t dwell on where William had gone. I pointedly avoided the jars full of organs on the big metal tables. He must have gotten them before cleaning up. 

I’d hardly wanted to talk to him. Toby hadn’t told him that Ben had put his camera feed onto the tv in the living room and I certainly didn’t want to be the one to bring it up and take the punishment when it wasn’t even my doing. And he’d murdered a man a few feet from where I slept every night. I wondered just how many he’d murdered here in this basement, how many assistants he’d killed. I wouldn’t die. I absolutely wouldn’t.

Yet as I looked at the man, his hair still slightly damp from showering, wearing a grey long-sleeved shirt and black sweatpants… He just seemed too average to casually murder people all the time. Aside from the grey skin, empty sockets, tar, dual toned voice, and sharp teeth, of course. He was asleep at the moment, one hand hanging off the bed. I had sudden memories of being a child and snatching my hand back up, afraid a monster would pull me under the bed. Unfortunately, my monster would pull me out from underneath the bed to get at me. 

His mask was off, sitting on his desk at the moment. Apparently he’d thrown it off and chipped part of it and was gluing it back on. I liked him better without the mask actually. It let me see what made him tick, let me have the comfort in knowing that he still acted a bit like a human. It was also a lot less threatening to see a face rather than an eerie blue mask. 

I went back to my sci-fi book for a few hours, reading through most of the story. A boy had been captured and experimented on by a mad scientist. The first half of the story focused on the transformation to a failed science project, the second half more on how he escaped and was trying to adjust around being a horror and having society reject him. Funny, how this book was so similar to Jack’s predicament. I wondered why he had it.

I didn’t bother checking the time to see if it was midnight or the middle of the afternoon, only putting down the novel once my eyelids drooped and the words became blurry. I got out of bed for a moment to turn off the light, shivering once I left my cozy haven, plunging the room into darkness. At this point, I was so familiar with it that I easily found my way back to bed, curling up underneath the thin sheets. 

\--

I rolled over and opened my eyes, squinting at the harsh light that flooded in, momentarily blinding me. When my vision cleared and I could see again, I focused on Jack who was typing something on his phone with one hand and holding an organ in the other. He was halfway through biting another piece when his eyes flicked up to me. He tore the chunk off, going back to his phone, indifferent. Disgusting. 

I closed my eyes again with a soft sigh, hanging onto those last threads of sleep, that feeling of weightlessness before I’d be forced to live in reality again. Or well, at least my attempt to sleep. I’d already been up for several hours but time passed so slowly I wanted to try fast-forwarding. I wasn’t very successful, instead just laying around not moving for about an hour. I kept them closed until I heard a chair scoot and a few seconds later, water coming from the sink faucet. I sat up a little in bed, yawning. 

We’d already discussed what had happened with Jeff last night. It hadn’t been the most desirable of conversations, especially with Jack of all people, but it would have had to happen eventually. He couldn’t really take action against either of them and at hearing that, I hit him in a fit of rage. He didn’t punish me or even yell, just ended the conversation and went to bed. Maybe he was too tired to care or maybe he understood the boiling anger I’d felt. I was still mad of course, just not really at Jack. If he said he couldn’t do anything then I’d trust he couldn’t do anything. He had hardly lied to me, except for making empty threats to scare me into submission. Why would he start now?

I stretched, feeling that familiar and pleasing burn in my biceps and thighs and calves. Speaking, or rather thinking, of that burn, I’d been bumming around quite often lately. Paired with a generally poor diet of cereal and whatever I could heat up- usually a burrito- I’d start getting unhealthy. If I was going to stay here long term, that could pose problems that I wasn’t too willing to let happen. Besides, if I got stronger or at least exercised to maintain  _ some _ level of fitness then I could better defend myself. When Jack finally came out of the bathroom, I tapped the side of the bed to get his attention, mouthing “phone” when he turned my way. He fished it out of his pocket and handed it to me.

“Can we take a walk?” I typed in. 

“Why?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Because I need to exercise.”

“It’s raining,” he said. He scratched his back, thinking for a moment. He didn’t have pupils but I could tell he was looking in a different direction. Something about that predatory gaze. It landed on me a few seconds later. “There is an exercise room, if that works for you,” he suggested. 

He was really going to let me do it? I’d figured he would have shot me down and worked on… well, whatever he was working on right now. Probably his horrifying results from his experiment. I wouldn’t pass up this opportunity. “Yea that works. I really just want to walk.” My back had been killing me for a while although that was my fault for hunching over to read books. As if it agreed, when I leaned forward a little, it throbbed.

“Ok,” he shrugged. “I should probably work out too… Give me a minute…” he mumbled more to himself than me, turning to his dresser. He pulled out a black tank top before suddenly straightening up and peering back at me. “Do you want to change?”

“Your clothes wouldn’t fit me at all,” I pointed out. 

“Mm, right. I’ll take you out to get some clothes tomorrow then.”

I nodded and started getting out of bed, stretching a little more, bending down to my toes as much as I could, grunting at the ache in my back. When I straightened up, Jack was slipping on the tank top. He left his grey long sleeved shirt on the floor, starting up the stairs. I quickly followed, forgetting about my shoes but I supposed it didn’t really matter if I was just walking on a treadmill or something similar. 

We went upstairs and down a few new hallways, stopping in front of a door with a piece of paper taped on that said “WORKOUT ROOM” in thick black ink. He opened the door to reveal a large room. It made sense that professional murderers would have to work out but 

I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’d really only seen a handful of workout rooms and gyms and combined, I could count those times on one hand. A weight rack was against the wall a few feet to the left of the door, holding an assortment of different sizes of dumbbells. A few were scattered around near it. A lat pull-down machine sat towards the back left corner, three yoga mats spread out next to it. In the back right corner was the treadmill which I happily made my way over to. After cluelessly tampering with it, I managed to set it to a comfortable speed and started walking. Maybe this would help my mood. Exercise released dopamine, right? 

Meanwhile, Jack stretched, pulling his arms this way and that, bending down to his toes, doing some lunges. He sat at the lat pull-down, tucking in his legs. He reached up to grab the bar and began pumping it up and down at a moderate pace, taking short 15 second breaks every minute. No wonder he was able to drag around a grown man. He was very toned, like how I remembered him being those few times where I’d caught him while he was changing shirts. But his arms were littered with scars, evidence of everything he did.

If Jack had been human, I could see myself getting an idle crush. He wasn’t bad looking, just unnatural now. I internally laughed at the thought- liking a monster. Imagine if that happened and he somehow ended up having feelings too. What a show that would be.

Wait, that… Wasn’t a bad idea at all, actually. If he was attracted to me I could use that to my advantage, make him less likely to hurt me so I could live longer. How should I get him to like me though? Well, I supposed that I’d have to act like I liked him too for this to work. I’d need to be extra careful; Jack was smart, and I needed this form of manipulation to work without him noticing. So what should I do first? Kiss him? No, no that was starting way too strong. He’d definitely know something was up. Ok, starting small. Little things that I could do to help ease into the idea of this, to get him thinking about me in such a way. And that was…? I didn’t know much about Jack’s personality other than he got angry quite often and seemed to be something of a control freak. Everything had to be in order and his few rules that I broke quite often. That’s where I’d start then. Trying to unlock more about his personality so I could play to his emotions. His probably ugly demon abomination emotions. Ew.

It was a horrible idea yet sensible at the same time. At least I was getting somewhere with this. This would be a very risky game to play but it was most likely the best course of action I could take to protect myself. Jack used to be human- he wouldn’t want to hurt his partner, I was sure. Unless he was a sadist but I really doubted it. Anytime he killed he was doing it for food or to hide himself. I wasn’t counting his assistants and “experiments”- those were less common compared to killing at least one person a week for food. 

Neither of us conversed for the time we were in the room. I walked and Jack used the lat pull-down. I could hear him breathing heavily if I focused and ignored the hum of the treadmill as best as I could. It was nice. Menial everyday activities like this more often would be desirable but of course, with Jack that didn’t happen often. Maybe I could get more of my life back if I got Jack to like me.

About twenty minutes later, Jack finally got off the machine, sweaty, and out of breath. He leaned on the wall while he cooled off. He was faced straight ahead but I couldn’t tell if he was looking at me or the wall so I didn’t make any eye contact for a few minutes. When his breathing seemed to be back to normal, I switched off the treadmill and stepped off, taking a second to get used to the weird sensation of suddenly not needing to walk forward lest I be thrown backwards into the wall. 

“You all done?” Jack asked. 

I nodded. 

As we walked out and neared the stairs, he slowed. I frowned, then followed his gaze  to the ground. A trail of blood went ran through the hallway, down the stairs, and across the living room floor. We traced it to the basement just as someone began rapping loudly on the door.

“Jack I need your help with this!” They yelled. It didn’t take me long to realize it was Toby.

“I’m up here, dumbass,” Jack said, trotting down the stairs. 

Toby stepped to the side as Jack started down the basement stairs, seemingly in a hurry although that could have been so that Toby didn’t get blood on everything. He was holding his left arm, preventing me from seeing the injury but judging by the trail he’d left and the soaked sleeve, it wasn’t good. 

“Hello again,” he greeted me shortly, looking me up and down before going after Jack. 

By the time we made it down, Jack was already pulling out bottles of disinfectant, bandages, and a few old tattered rags. Toby sat on the bed I didn’t sleep on (thank god), and rolled up his sleeve, revealing the nasty cut he’d acquired. It was spilling blood and it was hard to distinguish the actual injury from the rest of his arm. It legitimately looked like he’d carved a small mouth. I crinkled my nose in disgust. 

“What did you do?” Jack asked in utter disbelief, suddenly next to me with a rag and disinfectant. He didn’t bother trying to stop the blood flow, though it looked like it was slowing down on its own anyways, as he poured some of the liquid onto the rag. 

“Well, you see, I was laying on my bed, right? And I forgot one of my hatchets was there. Must’ve been... hmm… five, ten minutes later when I noticed I was bleeding?” He sounded too nonchalant- and how the hell had he done this  _ without _ noticing? He wasn’t even bothered by Jack cleaning the wound, staining the dark blue rag to look black. He must not be human after all then, right? No human could possibly just not realize they’ve obtained a second mouth by forgetting they leave fucking  _ hatchets _ on their bed.

Jack sighed, disappointed as he kept cleaning. He squeezed Toby’s arm as if he was testing something and more blood spurted out. He dropped the rag and moved stuff around on the table, pushing various sharp objects and bottles aside until he found what he was looking for: a needle and thread. 

Meanwhile, I watched this, not moving. I expected Jack to order me around, tell me to grab or do something but he didn’t. Maybe he worked solo on injuries out of habit. But he had had me get things for him when we were at the cabin with Jeff. Perhaps I helped with the more minor things and he took care of bigger injuries like this.

He began stitching it closed, weaving the thread through Toby’s skin with swift precision. I felt like there should have been more involved, a better cleaning of the wound, stopping the bleeding or something before going to stitches but I would leave Jack to his job. He’d gone to medical school but then again, his supply was decently limited to whatever he could steal. Which did beg the question on how he got these beds here but I’d dwell on that later.

He finished in no time- the man was definitely skilled, I’d give him that- and cleaned the edges of the wound again, careful not to mess up his work. Once satisfied with what he could do without disturbing it, he began wrapping bandages down Toby’s arm, starting a few inches above the wound and ending a few inches below. He then layered it until it was safe and secure. I figured this was so that if it started bleeding again it would have to soak through the bandages and stop before getting through to anything else. When he was done, Toby rolled his sleeve down. 

“Thanks man,” he said.

“Mhmm.” Was all that came as Jack began putting things back on the table. 

Toby lingered for a moment longer, watching Jack before starting back up the stairs and leaving us to ourselves. Jack turned around holding a wad of paper towels and little spray bottle. 

“Can you clean up the blood? It shouldn’t be too hard to scrub off. If it is, just spray this water on it,” he asked. I nodded and took them from him. “Thanks.”

I started at the bed, wiping up what had dripped onto the floor. That was the biggest puddle; the trail that lead up the stairs was really nothing more than a few drops every couple of inches. I briefly recalled Jack telling me that he got annoyed because they were all dumb in the way they got injuries. I could see what he meant. Toby was an idiot for not realizing it when it happened, an even bigger one for noticing ten minutes later. He must be dealing with the blood upstairs by himself. For being a bunch of murderers, I’d seen a surprising lack of gore around the house. Their Boss must ask them to keep it clean.

I tried to imagine them all doing chores, cleaning the house like you do on a Sunday morning. I imagined Jeff taking out the trash (himself included), Ben fixing the lights or smoke detectors, Toby doing the dishes, Tim and Brian sweeping the floor, Jack organizing things. It made me crack a small smile, thinking of these weirdos doing menial everyday tasks like they could do them. They could, of course, but they wouldn’t. They all seemed so lazy, Toby especially. Jack wasn’t really fitting that. He kept his room clean, kept his space well organized and professional, and by the look of his body he exercised often. It was remarkable, actually, that this house looked like it did in the first place. Perhaps their Boss had some magic ability that let him keep the place nice and tidy. I figured it wasn’t too far out of reach- he’d made Jack’s eyesight come back after all.

The blood on the top steps of the stairs was dried so I ended up watering five of them to get it off. What a hassle. I dried the steps, then put the spray bottle back on the table and the sopping paper towels in the wastepaper basket under the desk. Jack was examining the bookshelf when I turned around. 

Right, I needed to start playing into that idea. Small, little things to warm up first before I moved to bigger fish. 

“What are you looking for?” I typed.

“An Introduction to Mental Health and Psychology.”

I scanned the lower shelves, tilting my head to better read the titles. I spotted it on the bottom one and bent down to pull it out. It must have easily been at  _ least _ 600 pages and it weighed a ton. I handed it to him and stared at me for a second too long like he was confused that I was helping him. But he took it and muttered a “thanks” before going back to his bed. I was starting to feel a little gross, having exercised then cleaned that little bit. My clothes needed to be washed too- they were starting to smell and that sweating was not going to help. 

“Hey Jack?” I tapped out. He looked up from the book in his lap, his hand hovering over the keyboard of his laptop. 

“Hm?”

“What am I gonna wear until my clothes are done washing? Cause I’m gonna shower and…”

He thought for a moment then shoved both items off of his lap to stand up. “I know they won’t fit you, but you can wear one of my shirts and some sweatpants.”

I thought this was rational, for a moment. Just for a moment. “So I’m not wearing any underwear or a bra.”

“It’s just for a few hours. You’ll survive,” he said over his shoulder as he dug around his dresser, pulling out a black t-shirt, grey hoodie, and grey sweatpants. I blankly stared at him as he held them out to me. “What?” He asked. “Oh, seriously, c’mon. I don’t rape people. Besides, even if I did, if I wanted to I would’ve done it already. Take the damn clothes,” he said, shoving them into my arms and going back to his work. 

I huffed. He had a point but that didn’t mean I liked it. Oh well. It was just for a few hours. I’d be fine. I was making a big deal out of this when I didn’t have to. I went into the bathroom, stripped, and turned on the shower.

When I was done, still careful to avoid wetting my arm and the side of my neck too much, I put on his sweatpants first. They were, of course, big and baggy, slipping off my hips twice before I figured out that I could tighten the strings enough that they only sagged down a little. Then I threw on his shirt which hung far enough past my rear end that even if the pants did start falling down I could pull them back up with no trouble. The hoodie was last to go on and fit the same as the shirt. I tucked Toby’s knife into the pocket, making sure it didn’t show too obviously.

I gathered up my clothes and balled them up, struggling to open the door in this awkward and clunky way. He was still on his bed but now only the laptop was in his lap. He was typing furiously, pausing to glance to his side before writing more. He didn’t look over at me so I decided to dump my clothes on top of the shirt he’d abandoned earlier. I hurried back to my bed, the floor becoming Antarctica without socks on. 

I nestled into the sheets and put my head back on the pillow but it was honestly a pretty shitty pillow. It was stiff and hurt my neck if I slept on my side. I put up with it for a few minutes before sitting up and hitting in a few times to try making it less hard. It worked a little but it still was far from comfortable. 

“You can take one of my pillows for now, if you want. You’re being pretty good right now so it’s like a little reward.”

Ew no thanks. Sure, I needed to get him to like for me but I wasn’t stepping that quickly. I didn’t move or say anything, just closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

“Or not, I guess.”

About twenty minutes passed. The steady consistent tap of the keys reminded me of the rain and I was hit with a sudden pang of homesickness. I had been feeling a surprising lack of it lately. Was I really accepting and coming to terms with this fate that much? Well, no matter. It’s what I had to do. Hopefully my parents and sister would move on fast. I’d feel worse if they mourned and mourned, hoping I’d be the exception to make it out alive and all I did was give up. And even more horrifyingly tried to get the same monster who kidnapped me to love me. 

The typing stopped and things moved around. I heard the dresser drawers slide open and closed and the shuffling of feet before the bathroom door clicked shut. A minute later I could hear the shower running. 

I turned on my side out of habit and the pillow immediately began working its magic to make everything uncomfortable. I could only bear it for so long before I sat up, annoyed. My ability to sleep for most of the day seemed to have vanished- now I was back to the insomniac college student.

I looked dejectedly at Jack’s bed. He had said I could borrow one of his pillows. Maybe it’d help me sleep? Gods, I was  _ not _ considering this, was I? 

I was.

I’d already been kidnapped, faced with death multiple times, and had decided to fall in love; what harm could possibly come from taking a pillow he offered me? At least he wasn’t here to see me get it. I slowly eased off the bed then cut the bullshit and scurried across the ice to his bed. One pillow was propped up where he’d been sitting and another was against the wall. I tried grabbing it without actually getting on his bed but I couldn’t reach. I put one knee down and felt heaven.

His mattress was  _ amazing  _ and that was understatement. I sunk into it shamelessly, holding onto the feeling of lightness. I could see how he sat in it all day. Lucky bastard sleeps in this every night like a king while I’m over there breaking my neck to sleep in a certain position I quite liked. Pillow forgotten, I rolled over onto my back and closed my eyes, listening to the shower run- a storm outside my dorm room window, full stomach lulling me to sleep comfortably, nothing to stress about with all of my assignments finished, a nice day of relaxing ahead of me.

\--

Jeff chased me through the twisting hallways of the manor, laughing maniacally. Door after door, the corridors never ended, no matter how many times I changed directions I could never find my way to a part of the house I knew. I spared a glance behind me, a horrible mistake, and saw Jeff running at me full speed with a knife in hand. That smile was bleeding like he’d just cut it open again, his blue eyes wild and excited, and I pushed harder. But my feet just wouldn’t run as fast, held down by invisible chains, bogged down by lead weights and Jeff was closing the distance between us. 

_ NO! Nonononononono get away from me! _

With everything in me I turned and fled and I was picking up speed again, fighting through the heaviness. 

“Come here, you little bitch,” he sang, as I went down the hall to the left.

Where was Jack? He would protect me, I was sure, he’d stop Jeff from hurting me, from killing me. 

As if my thoughts led me down the right path, I could see the staircase up ahead and sprinted faster towards it. I clambered down, making too much noise.

“There you are~,” he shouted through howls too similar to a hyena.

I tripped on a step and fell the rest of the way down but I was too panicked, too desperate to feel any pain as I hit the bottom step. I crawled a few feet, struggling to stand on my feet again but out of the corner of my eye I could see a blur of white at the top of the staircase. I scrambled up and ran to the basement door, pulling on the handle but it didn’t budge. I pounded on it frantically, could see Jeff slowly stalking towards me, predator stalking prey, hunting me. I screamed for Jack but nothing came out. 

“Real cute sweetheart,” he breathed in my ear. How had he gotten so close? He spun me around to face him, put the knife to my throat, and flicked his wrist-

I jolted upright. The room was pitch black except for… Us? Jack was hunched over his laptop in a position that had to be killing his neck, eyes closed. And I was… in his bed next to him. The pillow that I had been going to grab was where my head had been. This was beyond bizarre but the important thing right now was that his laptop was open and I could finally see what was on it. Pushing my worries aside, the main concern being that he had made the choice to let me sleep in his bed, I spun it carefully towards me and squinted at the bright screen until my eyes adjusted and I could see it better. 

It was open to several documents. I filtered through them, one about the first experiment, another about the one he’d just conducted. I skipped those, going through three more. The last document open was one titled with my own name. I frowned and scrolled to the top. 

_ Assistant Name: (Y/N) _

_ Height: About (H) _

_ Hair Colour: (H/C) _

_ Eye Colour: (E/C) _

_ Noticeable Features: (N/F), mute _

_ Date Acquired: September 15, 2018 _

He was keeping information about me?

_ Notes: _

_ She’s mute which is the only reason I’m keeping her. It doesn’t seem to be selective mutism as she’s been adamant on using text-to-speech or writing down what she wants to say quite often. She hasn’t said anything about how she became mute, if she was born so or had an accident. I have heard her make small noises though- no words but quiet grunts and whatnot are within her range of performing.  _

_ She’s tried escaping by running away three times, once in my car, once by running into the woods, and most recently when I was doing laundry. I bit her arm repeatedly as a punishment. On that note, she’s not very obedient. I’ve had to use threats to get her to do what I ask but she seems to be a quick learner. I have a feeling she’ll stick around for a while.  _

_ I lost control and bit her neck twice. She sat against the wall for a while before going to bed. I didn’t mean to do it but she didn’t want to listen which I can understand. When I told her I treated it and gave her drugs to do so she attacked me It’s the most bold she’s been yet.  _

_ I told her about my past- not the ritual, but the events after it. I could tell she didn’t know what to make of it but she listened attentively the entire time. She is a genuinely nice person and I was surprised that she was curious, even a little empathetic earlier on in the day. It’s baffling to me why she’s behaving like this but I appreciate it. I suppose I’ve missed this kind of interaction. She doesn’t seem too bothered being in the same room as me anymore. _

It seemed to be like he added notes as time went on, just writing little blurbs on what happened recently. I hadn’t even meant to be like that with him. Was I already digging into his feelings?

_ Today, I picked up William, the specimen for the experiment. When first getting him, she pleaded for me not to eat him then and there. I’m thankful she remembered otherwise this could have dragged on for much longer than it needed to be. Later on, she treated William’s injury. I don’t know what compelled her to do so. He was going to die anyways so why should she try helping him? Perhaps she felt she had to, from a victim to a victim. She begged me not to hurt him again but when I went off to go find him, she got into my car. When I came back, she tried to run me over. What puzzles me most is that she had another opportunity to ram into me again, to keep driving anyways and she didn’t. This perplexes me. Why wouldn’t she try to escape? Even just turn around and start driving away- there’s no way I could catch up to her then but she froze up. Needless to say, I was quite angry and backhanded her. When we returned home, she buried herself under her bedsheets. I assume she was trying to block out the noise. When I cut out William’s tongue she threw up. For the remaining time we had together, I could tell she was very uneasy being around me. In a strange way, I hope I haven’t entirely shut her off. It’s enjoyable having someone to talk to who isn’t screaming and crying all the time. _

_ It was explained to me that while I left her with Toby, she fought Ben who then almost drowned her, and was soon after groped by Jeff. The following day she knocked Ben out. I was very amazed. She’s only shown that kind of fight to me a few times but even then she stops before she can really harm me. Perhaps it was that she realized she could fight Ben and stand a chance. This is more than fascinating- she’s more obedient and her last attempt to escape seemed like a last minute decision to save William. So what struck her nerve so much that she attacked? I’m a little worried about what Jeff did though. It could prevent her from working and whatnot. I also do appreciate the quiet company she provides, in some sense. She hasn’t displayed any odd behaviour, other than getting a little worked up over the fact that I can’t do anything about what happened. She hit me but I let her have it. I’d be angry too. Jeff did send me a video of the fights. It really is remarkable. I haven’t seen that much emotion displayed at all, how angrily she was hitting him to suddenly switch to helplessness when she thought she was going to die. And the second video is even more astounding. I hadn’t imagined that she could actually knock out anyone. This is one of the only times one of my assistants has ever fought another person in the house but that was reserved for the desperate hot headed ones, not the meek girl who can’t talk. I’ll have to ask what got her upset. _

This was sickening. Why did he want to know? What was he going to do with it? Try pushing me so I fought him? Well, I just had to make sure I didn’t fall for it. There was one more paragraph on the page. It must’ve been from today since that one was from yesterday when I’d gotten back. 

_ It’s like she’s given up for real. She’s just trying to sleep which she does so much of, it’s like she’s a cat. Perhaps she’s trying to escape reality or maybe it’s because she can only do so much. She did ask however if we could take a walk, something that surprised me. It seemed like she was getting too comfortable and I thought that I should reinforce that she should be scared of me but I decided against it. She hadn’t done anything to provoke me and it was an honest request for exercise so I took her to the workout room. She just walked on the treadmill so it wasn’t too bad. After I treated Toby’s injury, she went to take a shower. However since I still need to take her to get clothes and hers were dirty, I gave her clothes of my own. She didn’t like that she would be without undergarments but that doesn’t really matter to me and she wore them. When I offered her a pillow, she ignored me. However, while I was in the shower, she went to go get it. Or, that’s what I assume she was doing. I came out to see her asleep on my bed and was rather shocked. After I started the laundry, I tried waking her up but she wouldn’t so I simply moved her to the side of my bed so I could work. Her face keeps scrunching up every now and then and her scent is a rather odd mix currently so I can guess she’s have some night terror. Referring back to the cat thing, she is curled up like one which is a little amusing. I’m tempted to call her one to see how she’d react to the pet name.  _

A cat? Yea, okay. I was lazy, I got it. Still, was it really that hard to wake me up? He could’ve at least put me in own bed- the guy can carry a grown man for fucks sake. Oh well. At least his bed was comfortable. 

He twitched, making a quiet whining noise, brow furrowed, and I quickly exited out of my document so it wouldn’t look suspicious, twisting his laptop back in front of him. Okay, I just needed to get out of his bed without waking him up. This would obviously be hard since he had woken up before merely because I accidentally touched him a little. Slow… steady...

I scooted forwards inch by inch and when I was only half a foot closer to the floor, my hand landed on something else. I was pretty sure it was his hand but I didn’t get a chance to really look before his eyes snapped open. Jack lunged forwards, shoving me harshly against the wall, growling lowly. His laptop fell to the side and only a bit of the reflected light let me see his face, eyelids half closed, teeth bared. Was he attacking me while asleep? 

“I will tear you limb from limb,” he snarled sleepily, words slightly slurred because of it. He pinned one wrist against the wall, the other hand loosely holding my throat. 

He must’ve been having a nightmare. Couldn’t he see I wasn’t a part of it? I struggled to move around and he tightened his grip on my neck, squeezing suddenly. I clawed at his hand, digging my nails into it, but it didn’t budge.  _ What could I do, what could I do? Think fast, think fast before I run out of time. What to do? The knife!  _

As I gasped for breath, greedily snatching up any oxygen I could get, I dug around in my pocket. He didn’t seem to notice, too intent on strangling me. I grabbed the handle and pulled it out, holding it up against his jugular. He froze when the blade pressed lightly into his neck, not deep enough to cut but deep enough to let him know I could seriously harm him.

He slowly released his hold on my neck, realization crossing his face, and I immediately gulped in air. I didn’t take my eyes off him, scared he would take away the only thing that had stopped me from dying.

“What-”

I dug the knife in and he immediately shut his mouth. His head was tilted up some and he looked down at me. I could kill him right now. Well, I didn’t know that for sure. He could kill me before he died or maybe I’d strike the wrong place and he could treat himself. I couldn’t risk that and then destroy the only other way to ensure my survival. 

“I’m going to let go of you, okay?” He said, taking his hand all the way off my neck first then releasing my wrist. I rubbed my neck with the hand not holding a knife. Hopefully it wouldn’t bruise. He held his hands up though it was pretty half-assed, drooping like he didn’t care that I had a weapon.

I glared at him. He needed to get a hold on himself and distinguish reality from dreams before he started attacking people. 

“You can put the knife down now. I didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry,” he said. I could feel his gaze rake over me like he was analyzing the situation to see where his openings were. In response I edged it just a little deeper. “Ah-” he ducked his head back a little but I followed him, pressing the blade back against his skin. 

Could I kill him?

...

No. 

I couldn’t. 

Even if it was the only thing that would let me go free, enable me to survive, I still wouldn’t be able to kill someone. It didn’t matter that Jack was one of the worst monsters I’d ever encountered, quite literally, I couldn’t bring myself to slice across his throat. Even if he hurt me over, and over again, even if he’d kidnapped me, threatened me, bit me, I wouldn’t try to hurt him like this. 

I lowered the knife just an inch and then Jack’s hand shot out to twist my hand so I dropped the weapon. He snatched it up, just as quick. Well, there went that.

What was wrong with me? I give up the only good chance I have at getting out of here for an attempt at a relationship? Maybe they weren’t the psychos. Maybe I was. I’d never get out. What was I thinking. The only way out was death. Jack had told me that at the beginning but I still wasn’t listening.

“Where did you get this?” He asked me. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was angry. It was instinct by now, feeling the dangerous beast emanating from within whenever I pissed him off.

How would he feel if I told him I’d gotten it from Toby? Would he hit me, starve me, bite me, lock me in a cage and carve out my tongue and eat me?

He didn’t have a right to be angry anyways. He attacked me first and I had done the only thing to save my life and the others that would have followed if I’d died. If anyone was angry, it was me. “I’m the victim!” I wanted to scream in his face to make it clear that he didn’t get to be sad or angry when I didn’t do what he wanted. If he didn’t want to deal with it then shouldn’t have kidnapped me in the first place! 

But I couldn’t be angry. He’d just punish me if I did something he didn’t like because I acted irrationally. So I had to think harder, had to analyze, play to my plan.

Why’d he kidnap me anyways? I’d helped him, twice? Three times? In the time I’d been here my main job was to sleep and make as little noise as possible. He really didn’t have much need for me. And those notes about appreciating my company... What if…

What if he was lonely? A crazy thought- Jack, feeling a human emotion like that- but it was starting to make sense. Unlike Toby and Jeff, he was here by accident, not on purpose. He was sadistic now but I’d put it up to living in a house of murderers to do that. I never did much for him. If he was lonely then was this his solution? I would think that he’d want a happy compliant person to fill the space but I supposed a panicked person did a lot more to take his mind off of things. He wouldn’t be reminded that he’s alone if someone is constantly screaming, fighting, trying to escape. Did he cloud himself with other negative emotions to get rid of one? Reckless and idiotic, self-destructive. 

Is this where I started? Was I already conquering the first battle of making Jack feel less lonely, of getting him to like me? I’d have to find a way to get him off of the track of viewing me as a person to fill his head with anger and flip it to happiness. He was always working so it didn’t seem like he wanted a lot of conversation. Probably valuing his precious silence, as always. It was amazing someone managed to break his shell enough to lure him into the woods to sacrifice him. I could do that, if I tried hard enough. Well, the first part anyways. Maybe I should just asked more questions, his favourite colour and why, what was his favourite food before becoming a demon, favourite childhood memory? Too many favourites. 

“Answer me,” he barked, digging his fingers into my chin to force me to look up at him. 

Right, the current situation at hand. How to destress the scene… I’d just give him what he wants- that was sure to work, right?

“Toby’s room,” I mouthed. 

“Figures,” he grumbled, letting go of me. He examined the knife, turning it over in his palm. Time to play into his emotions.

I reached for the phone by his pillow. Could’ve sworn I’d left it in my pocket but he’d taken it out several times before so I could put it up to him. He watched, waiting for what I would type. 

“What was that all about?” I asked. 

He visibly tensed. “It was nothing.”

He was an even worse case than I’d figured. So he’d blatantly lie? Well, he seemed like the type to shut people out anyways. 

“Jack, I know that’s a lie.”

“Why do you wanna know? Y’know, you’re not acting much like a victim at all. You’re pretty comfortable, huh?” He said, raising an eyebrow. He had a point.

“You’re beating around the question.” He didn’t say anything. Should I outright ask if he’s lonely? No, no, I couldn’t. But, I could. What would the outcome of each situation be? Jack was too unpredictable for that, scratch it. Maybe I should-

“What game are you playing at?” Ack, I should’ve at least kept this ending in mind. The ending where he figures it out and stops it before I can do anything. I just had to play innocent here. He’d never know. Not being able to talk helped me this time around- he couldn’t tell my real emotions through the tone of my voice whereas his gave his away. Right now he sounded a bit hesitant, unsure of himself. I’d caught him at a vulnerable moment- right after a nightmare about something that had cut into his nerves so much he’d lie about it.

“I’m not playing at anything.” 

He spoke before I could type anything else. “Lies. You’ve had multiple opportunities to kill me yet you’ve taken none of them. Whenever I sleep you can get close enough, my car, just now with the knife. Why? Why aren’t you trying so hard?” This was a different mad. It held a dampening blue to it, a darker shade than the one on his mask. I swore I could hear the rain outside.

_ ‘I’d rather die. It’s what I deserve anyways.’  _

Had he been hoping that through everyone’s attacks he’d eventually die?

“Do you want me to kill you?” I asked, hesitant to assume what he meant. 

“The rest of them… They try so hard I have to constantly break them, over and over. But you don’t try unless you have a golden moment and you never follow through. Why?”

Perhaps he was leaving opportunities on purpose, trying to silently egg me on. What a twisted way to commit suicide. 

“I can’t give you a good enough answer.”

“Then give me what you have.”

“I can’t kill someone.” I admitted. That was normal, right? Well, I hadn’t tested the willingness of people’s desperation for survival so I couldn’t judge too accurately but I liked to think most people still wouldn’t murder for survival.

“Oh.” He glanced back down to the knife, then to me. What was he doing? He held it out. “Take it.”

“Do you really want me to kill you?” I repeated. Was he insane? Giving me  _ back _ my weapon? He’d already gone through the trouble of taking it from me. 

“You said it yourself, you can’t. It was unexpected. The way you defended yourself without trying to attack me in the process… I haven’t seen that a lot. You want to live but you’re not willing to hurt others to do it.” He paused.  “Did you ever get bullied when you were younger?”

“What?” That couldn’t have been more out of the blue. What was with this guy? Half-asleep and murderous intent to mad, to a little calmer, to decently calm, to mad with some sad, to asking weird personal questions. Bipolar or something, geez. He pushed the knife back into my hands, forcing me to take it back. I put it into my pocket. 

“Just curious. You don’t fight back unless something strikes a nerve, huh? Like your family? ...Oh? You tensed up a bit there. You said you have a sister, she’s not mute, is she? Bet someone in this house, definitely Jeff for sure, would want to hear her scream and beg for mercy.”

_ What. _

My fists clenched-  _ how dare he make that kind of suggestion towards my family _ . 

A ghost of a smile flickered across his face and I snapped out of it. 

I was giving him what he wanted. He was trying to make me angry so he could punish me, so he’d have something to worry about. He made a lot of empty threats anyways, there’s no way he’d go through with it. I just had to keep calm and not lose my cool and I’d be good to go. If I showed him it wasn’t going to work he’d stop. But there was still the option of simply telling him that I could see through it.

Ah, my original question- that’s what I’d counter with. “You’re still trying to avoid the question. Got something to hide, Jack? Some deep dark secret you can’t bear to let out? I mean, you already told me how you became a monster, why is this any different?” I typed.

If I could strike nerves in all the right places: avoiding the question like a child, getting him angry enough to want to prove me wrong so he’d share, and using the logic that he’d already recounted his story so there wasn’t any harm in telling this one. Better yet, if he did share then I could of course exploit that and use it to my advantage. 

“‘I’ll tear you limb from limb,’ that’s what you said, right? Who were you threatening? Come on, tell me already.” … “Anything?” … “Hey Mr. Monster, what’s wrong with you?”

I watched as his face swirled with a mix of different expressions. He was frowning one second, looking regretful the next, a tinge of fear here and there oddly enough, and weirdest of all: sadness. In those few seconds I could really see Jack as more than a demon. For the first time, I saw him as a human.

He had dark bags under his eyes that I’d never acknowledged before. He worked from the start of his day to the end of his day. And he still believed he should die. But he couldn’t do it himself and the loneliness was too unbearable so he kidnapped people in hopes that their will to survive was stronger than his own. He prayed that they would kill him but he always fought back because deep down he didn’t want to die. He said that he wasn’t a monster but he told himself he was. He’d shown far too many times that he hated being here but found it necessary in order to live. He was building up walls, isolating himself, surrounding himself with emotions that would only worsen as they were stored up. He was likely dealing with depression. If he was the villain in my story… I was the hero. I could save him. I could save the human part. He wasn’t asking me to… but...

Meddling when you’re not expected to is the essence of being a hero.

The plan now was to both save him and get him to like me. It didn’t make much of a difference though- a lover is there for their partner, right? I needed to show him the way out of the hole he was digging for himself, help him out of his grave. 

“You think you can talk to me like that? Did Jeff mess you up, huh? Not scared of me anymore? I’ll show you wha-”

I cut him off with the text to speech.

“I’m sorry. That came out ruder than I intended. Calm down before your emotions get the best of you.”

He was silent, stunned that I now had the guts to stand up for myself. In reality, I was, of course, still scared of him. He could easily kill me whenever he wanted but for the sake of his own crazy scheme he was keeping me alive. I could fake confidence though. The only thing that would give me away was my scent but I just had to learn to normalize Jack’s behaviour enough so that it didn’t bother me.

“You brat,” he snarled, backing me up against the wall. He balanced on his knees so he was still taller than me and trapped me against the wall. He was a bit angry but not as much as he was trying to display to make me nervous. I could see through him much easier now that I’d realized what was going on. “You don’t tell me what to do.”

Do I attack with the knife? That would be giving him what he wanted but it could help me to get him to listen to me. He wasn’t being too aggressive. Or I could do nothing, just watch and see where this went without putting myself at risk for injury. 

“You do what I tell you to, not the other way around, got it?”

I weighed my options and decided I should try getting him to calm down. 

I nodded slowly before carefully pushing him back out of my personal space. 

“You really are getting pretty comfortable here,” he said with a sigh, sitting next to me, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes.

“What else am I supposed to do?” I asked him.

“Try to kill me, try to kill yourself, try to escape. Everything everyone else does.”

I took longer to type my response out, trying to think of what to say. “You said it yourself, no one gets out alive. If I’m not going back to my friends, my family, my life… then I’m staying here. I don’t want to die. You can put me through whatever hell you conjure up that’s worse than what I’ve already seen, I’ll still be here. I won’t try killing you but I’m not going to let you kill me.” As if I could stop him.

“I see. So, are you really even scared of me anymore?” He cracked open an eye to look at me.

“Can’t you tell by my smell or something?”

“Well, yes, but I’d rather hear it from you than assuming by your basic instincts to be on edge around a predator,” he said.

I thought about this for a moment before answering. Yea, I was scared of Jack. But only in certain ways. How to put this into words… “I’m scared because you can hurt me whenever you want and you can kill me in an instant but you said you wouldn’t unless I broke a rule or whatever so I can relax a little. But I’m not scared because I’ve already gone through some traumatizing stuff and I might be in denial about the sheer horror of it all but it’s not affecting me much. I’m not scared because you didn’t want to be here at first and I don’t think that’s changed. I’m not scared because I just saw you have a nightmare and that’s so… human that it makes me look at you differently.”

He didn’t say anything for a while so I didn’t either. I thought he might have fallen asleep again but I spotted his fingers tapping a beat on his leg lazily, barely moving. Tap, tap, taptaptap, tap taptap, tap tap tap, repeat. He looked peaceful, at ease; His head was lolling forward ever so slightly, brown, sleep-tousled hair falling in front of his eyes, and his chest rose and fell in even increments.

“I don’t think I’m scared of  _ you _ at all, actually. I think I’m scared of what you’re capable of. It’s like, I could stab you right now, sure, I could. But it’s not who I am to stab you. I think you’re the same way. I don’t think you’re really a violent person. I think you blow up your feelings to create an image to protect yourself.”

He stopped tapping. He took several seconds to do anything, to move, even take a breath. Then he sighed and opened his eyes right as tar rolled down his cheek.

“This has been a weird night. I’m going back to bed. I don’t care if you stay here or not.”

With that final brief statement, he scooched over to his pillow and dug back under the covers, turning away from me. 

I agreed. It was bizarre. Too bizarre. Where would this relationship go from here? What was he thinking about me? What would I do next to understand him better and get him to open up to me? How would-

You know what? This could wait. 

I worried too much, running every scenario, every question through my head when I should just go with the flow of the conversation. I shouldn’t over-analyze everything about him, everything he said just because I was trying to pursue a relationship. If I needed this to be real, I had to act like I was getting to know the human Jack through casual dates- be calm and just have a conversation with him.

I moved Jack’s laptop to the foot of the bed and laid back down in the spot I’d been in before. I settled in, curling up a little under the comforter I almost reached for the phone to tell him goodnight but it didn’t feel right. I could tell he wasn’t the type to indulge in things like that, those good-morning and goodnight rituals most couples performed. Besides, we weren’t a couple. We were simply co-existing; a demon that clearly didn’t know his way around basic relationships and a mute that had given up on getting her life back. 

I closed my eyes, rushing all the stray thoughts out of my head, listening to Jack’s breathing to calm down and get back to bed. With one last deep breath, I embraced the darkness that was reaching out to me. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the mini-hiatus. School work picked up, I was dealing with a few things mentally and within family, and I had little to no motivation to work on the story. I took the time to reflect and think about where I wanted things to go and how I was going to make them happen. So, written almost entirely in these past two days, going through four different drafts, is chapter 12. I hope you all enjoy it.

I became conscious with my eyes still closed, surrounded by the blissful black void. I listened to the rain for a while before it became apparent to me that I was still in a basement and couldn’t hear the rain. It was then that I realized I was pressed up against something rather warm and the steady thrumming was a keyboard. Jack. I slowly opened my eyes to see that I had been resting fairly close to the demon who was sitting upright with his laptop on his lap. The room was still cast in darkness which I was thankful for since I wanted to see what he was doing without him noticing. He’d probably be more likely to work on something secret now rather than when I was awake. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the bright screen enough to make out the words but once I could, I started reading.

_ I had a nightmare, the ritual again, and accidentally choked her. It took her awhile to pull out a knife, one she says she stole from Toby’s room. She made me back off but wouldn’t let me apologize. She kept pressing the blade in and in and I thought she might actually kill me. But like always, she backed off. I confronted her about it and she said she couldn’t kill me, that it wasn’t something she could do. I suppose I understand. She does seem too soft, too caring for others that she wouldn’t hurt them. It was tempting for just a moment to try to break her enough so she’d crack and take a swing with the knife but that would require more planning than I’m willing to do right now. She kept pushing at what I had said, asking what it meant, what I had been dreaming about. I avoided answering it. I opened up about my adaptation but I don’t want her to know anything about that night, anything she could use against me, to set me off like that. Anyways, I gave her back the knife. I could’ve killed her then and that tiny blade was most likely the only thing that had stopped me from doing so. She’s also sensitive to her family. Just mentioning her sister made her tense up, not to mention the glare she gave me when I said I could give her to Jeff. _

I hadn’t even noticed myself the look I’d given him. He was picking up things I wasn’t. I needed to keep a closer eye on everything.

_ When she kept pressing about what I said, admittedly, I got frustrated and tried to scare her into dropping the subject. It worked a little bit but I could smell it in the air. I wasn’t having my usual effect on a victim. She is rather relaxed, hell she’s practically hugging my leg and side right now while she sleeps. She said she thinks I blow up my feelings to protect myself. After some thinking, she might be right. I want to know how she could see that when I didn’t realize it myself, and I want to know what else she can do. She isn’t normal, maybe she’s crazy or something for voluntarily being this close to me, but it’s increasingly intriguing. I want to take a slow walk in her mind and pick it apart and see why she acts nice to me, why she’s so fragile looking yet strong willed. Well, I’ll have to see what happens in the future, what she does to really get a feel for her character. _

At this point, he exited out of his notes and opened up a new file, one pertaining to his experiment. I closed my eyes again to think, only for a minute.

So he’s interested in me. I couldn’t tell if it was for his own curiosity, a romantic interest, if he was giddy about research he could do. I’d probably have to do something soon to secure that his mind was wandering, thinking about me in the romantic light. 

I opened my eyes slowly again after a few more minutes, starting to sit up like I’d just awoken. He turned to watch me, expressionless. 

“Good afternoon,” he greeted me.  _ Afternoon? _ Good god, I slept in. Oh well, it didn’t matter anyways if I really thought about it.

I waved as a response, and stretched my legs and arms, reaching out to touch them. No better way to start off a morning than by stretching and waking up your muscles. Not that I expected to use them much but the thought counted. 

“You look like you slept well.”

I looked to my right, then to my left for the phone to type what I wanted to say. It was too early to be trying to mouth words and hope he understood. “Your bed is comfy.” 

“Mm.” He turned his attention back to his laptop. His fingers flew so fast across the keyboard I really couldn’t try guessing what he was typing by looking at it. Well, I didn’t want to read those details anyways. I’d rather that we kept it like William had never come and my encounters with Jeff and Ben had never happened. 

“Aren’t we going out to get me clothes and stuff today? It’s a long drive, if we want to get somewhere before they close,” I pointed out, beginning to scoot towards the foot of the bed when the robotic voice finished. 

“Oh, right. That almost slipped my mind. Your clothes are on your bed. Change, we can eat real quick, and then leave.” He said, closing his laptop, setting it to the side, and getting out of bed too. He started digging around his dresser drawers, pulling out a pair of black jeans and a black hoodie. It seemed fitting for hiding in the shadows. 

I quickly snatched my clothes that had been neatly folded up and hurried into the bathroom before he could start changing. He didn’t seem like the type to be particularly embarrassed about changing in front of others though he had said that  _ because _ he was self conscious he wore a mask. Perhaps it was just his face. I didn’t have time to dwell on his issues at the moment, so I pushed them aside for the time being and changed out of his clothes. I’d never been happier to put on underwear and a bra. 

By the time I came out of the bathroom, he had changed and was sitting on the edge of his bed, phone in hand, his mask next to him. He looked up at me, stood up, and pocketed the device. He started up the stairs so I picked up my shoes and slipped one on, putting on the other while we were going up, stamping my foot down rather loudly on one of the steps to make sure it was on all the way. 

I closed the basement door behind me and stopped dead in my tracks in the kitchen doorway when I saw Jeff taking down a bag of chips from a cupboard. He turned around and a flicker of surprise lit up his eyes as he closed it. His gaze flitted from Jack to me. 

“Hello again,” he greeted us, poison dripping from his tongue. I took a step closer to Jack, like he’d start chasing me again and I’d run for the one person who might protect me. 

Jack didn’t say anything in return, instead reaching for a half-empty pot of coffee and inspecting it to see if it was any good. 

I maintained eye contact with Jeff. I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t try to pull something now, not after trying to rape me. He wouldn’t do anything with Jack here, right? Right? The corners of his carved smile, the edges of the scabs, wrinkled up and chills went down my spine. Nothing should look that evil. 

“Y’know, it’s pretty rude not to say anything back, Jacky. ‘S disrespectful,” he snarked, walking closer to us. 

Almost instinctively, I pressed right up Jack’s side. I wasn’t ashamed though. This was for survival. I couldn’t dodge the point that I was the prey in a house of predators and that against any of them I couldn’t stand a chance. Even Ben could take the upper hand and drown me. Jack frowned at me and finally turned around to face the man who was standing two feet away. 

“Bold of you to assume anyone should give two shits about respecting you,” he said back calmly. 

“Oh, that just strikes me right in the heart. You should go fuck off again for a few days. Me and your bitch had a  _ great _ time, right sweetheart?” He reached an ugly hand towards my face and my body reacted before I could think, swatting his hand away the moment I could feel the leathery texture on my skin. The look in his eyes… it almost rivaled the look I’d seen on Jack’s face when I saw him without a mask on for the first time. 

Shock. Then anger. 

Jack was quick to put himself in front of me, obscuring my view of the other man and I protested- I could stand up for myself!- but I was grateful deep down. 

“Why don’t you take your chips and fuck off.” It wasn’t a question.

“Next time I see that bitch alone, I’m finishing what she started, got it?” He snarled, grabbing the bag and walking out.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and cut it short when Jack turned around, looking halfway annoyed. 

“God, he’s such a fucking child,” he said with a sigh once footsteps clambered up the stairs. “Go ahead and make something to eat.”

I nodded slowly, still processing the small feud that had just taken place. There wasn’t time to reflect on what had happened right now, I could do it later. I made myself a bowl of cereal, Frosted Flakes, while Jack poured himself a cup of coffee. I didn’t even think it was warm but maybe that was Jack’s style. Or he didn’t care. The latter seemed more likely.

I briefly wondered about him, if he was going to kill someone to eat or if he’d already eaten but that was something he should handle on his own so I didn’t ask.

\--

We’d been in the car for about an hour now. He’d equipped his mask and I was unable to read his emotions, to weigh the effect my words had. Thankfully Jack had put on some lofi station to fill the awkward silence but I still felt like I should say something. The kitchen thing… I would leave for later. Last night seemed like a more pressing topic. And one he was avoiding.

“So, Jack…” I typed in to get his attention while I scrounged for the right words to use.

“Hm?” 

“Last night.”

“Can we not talk about last night?” He asked, voice holding a certain edge. Not a dangerous one, one that just clearly said ‘This makes me uncomfortable.’

“No, we need to. Why did you let me stay in your bed? Before you woke up, I mean.” A second later I quickly added, “Actually, both.”

He inhaled sharply. “You looked comfortable. I felt like it was the only way I could really make it up to you, the whole Jeff and Ben thing. It wasn’t my original intention to let you keep sleeping, I actually tried to wake you up a few times but you’re like a log so I just pushed you to the side after thinking about it for a bit.”

I couldn’t help the small blush that crawled its way to my ears. I sincerely hoped I hadn’t drooled or snored or sleep-talked because I was pretty sure there’d be no way he’d respect me after that if so. 

“The second time, after everything, I was tired, definitely not thinking right. I’m still not thinking right. You… You’re something different. I didn’t think you’d actually go back to bed with me though, that’s mostly why I offered, so the thought was there.”

“Why would you of all people even try to leave it ‘so the thought was there.’” 

“I’m done talking about this now,” he said. What? No. I tugged on his hoodie sleeve in protest. He couldn’t shut me down like that! But he did. He growled and I let go, crossing my arms and glaring out of the window. 

After a couple of minutes, I typed a single word into the prompt box and hit ‘play’. 

“Coward.”

In no time, his scalpel was out, the smooth blade resting gently against my throat. It was cold. I hadn’t even seen his hand go to his pocket for it- had he expected to threaten me with it?

“Don’t forget who you’re with,” he warned, eyes still on the road. 

I picked up the phone again, having dropped it from the surprise. “You don’t need to act anymore, Jack.”

“I’m not acting.”

“Yes, you are. Stop denying it. You know it, I know it, drop it. Please, just be honest with me.”

He took the scalpel away, albeit hesitantly. “Why should I be?”

“Because I’m being honest with you. It’s kind of expected but you wouldn’t know that would you?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He sounded like he was accusing me of something. Of what? Being pissed off because he was so closed off that he wouldn’t talk about an incident both of us were involved in? 

“Because you’re a demon who only talks to serial killers and clearly you don’t know how to build relationships.”

“You want me to be honest with you? Every time you call me a demon, a monster, whatever, it makes me want to strangle you a bit.”

I went to type something else in, my brow furrowed in displeasure. I was only telling the truth.

“Say something else and watch what happens. Be quiet or I’ll make you.”

My fingers itched to give some snarky reply, to get the last word but the smarter side of me, the logical side working to get me out of here alive knew better than to try something as dumb as that right now. 

If only I had the confidence that slitting his throat would work and I could escape. Wistful daydreaming.

\--

As I’d expected, the rest of the car ride remained silent. I jotted down in my mind that it was a three and a half to four hour drive. Well, maybe if I ended up needing his car to escape I could hightail it out of there but at a reasonable speed, it took a while. 

Jack had cooled off by now- I could see it in his posture. When he got angry he seemed to have the tendency to curl in on himself a little bit, ducking his head down and raising his shoulders. Now he was just looking ahead, one arm on the wheel, leaning back against the seat. 

“Fuck, I’m starving…” he mumbled, not really talking directly to me, more to himself. 

Wait. 

“I thought you already ate,” I said, frowning. Wasn’t that why he’d only gotten coffee?

“No.”

“Why did you leave without eating? We’re out like all day.” The robot voice did such a poor job of expressing the fact that I was upset with him. I mean, the idiot! Why’d he knowingly go out for over eight hours and not eat anything? He was a doctor, for fucks sake. Weren’t they all health-nuts?

Jack shrugged. Just shrugged. Like this was a shrugging matter.

“So you’re going to eat someone?” 

It took me longer than I’d like to admit to type that sentence out. I hated it. Hated how casual this could be. 

“That’s the idea,” he grunted, sitting up straight as we neared an intersection. It was mostly empty since we were still on the outskirts of the city. Since he turned left, it was safe to assume that we were staying in the outskirts. I noticed how he started ducking his head down a bit, partially concealing his mask from any prying eyes looking through the window. 

“In broad fucking daylight.”

“The sun is setting, it’s not that big of a deal. You don’t even have to do anything, I’ll just nab someone. Put your hood on too. I don’t know how much they’re looking for you at this point,” he told me.

I did what he said until I realized what those words meant.

“They’re looking for me?”

Tears brimmed the edges of my eyes, oh my god they were trying to find me! Happiness welled up inside me- how many people knew? Could I get someone’s attention and help today? Could they help me get rid of Jack so he didn’t hurt anyone else? I could even help lead the police to that god awful manor to get rid of the rest of the psychos. Pure joy tugged my lips up into a smile, the first one I’d really felt in a good while. 

“They were.”

And everything came crashing down.

Jack waited a moment, turning onto another street before continuing. “They were looking for you, of course, for a while, but it’s pretty obvious I took you. I left that body there and some of your blood was on the ground, not to mention your vomit. They know after four years what happens to my assistants, so in all likelihood they’ve given up the search.”

I couldn’t even muster up the willpower to type in an “Oh.”

They were just going to give up so easily.

I hadn’t given up.

Why would they…

It was their  _ job _ to find me.

And they so easily left it alone.

Did they not care about me?

Was I that easy to forget?

Another name to add the hundreds Jack had murdered or kidnapped?

The cosmos really hated me, huh?

Letting me feel so much happiness before being reminded that I was insignificant. 

What a fucking joke.

A few tears rolled down my cheek. I was quick to wipe them away. I couldn’t get stuck in that mindset. I had done good work, made good progress. Jack was starting to listen to me, something I doubt he’d done for the other assistants. Fuck the police, I’d do their damn job for them. 

\--

It had been about an hour and a half since we’d gotten to the city. Jack had parked in an alley and left me alone while he went to get his meal. I had kept my head down, opting to try taking a nap. I didn’t want to see the person, to know who exactly was going to die today. I had heard muffled screams through the car door, Jack grunting, something hitting the ground. I’d ignored it. I had almost been asleep when the trunk of the car opened, snapping me awake. I’d looked over my shoulder to see Jack with a surprisingly clean towel wiping his hands off. He hadn’t paid any mind to me as he took off his mask all the way, cleaning his face before repositioning it and tossing the towel back in the trunk. 

Since then, we’d been waiting in an empty parking lot for all the light to vanish from the sky before going into some little store. The store itself looked pretty run down but the inside looked nicer. It seemed like a convenience store from the outside but if we were here for clothes for me then Jack must know it sells otherwise. 

Finally it must’ve been dark enough for Jack’s standards because he opened his door without warning, jolting me out of a trance. I quickly got out of the car to follow him. 

“Keep your head down and just grab some clothes. In and out.”

He walked with his shoulders raised, head tilted down at his feet, taking stiff steps with rigid legs. I kept my eyes at the ground as we entered the store, following Jack’s shoes which I could see out of the corner of my eye. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the brighter lights after having sat in a dark car for a few hours. 

He went into one aisle and I went into the one next to it, looking up more to better scope out my surroundings. I knew there shouldn’t be anyone in the store- there weren’t any cars in the parking lot. A few rows of snack food and drinks lined the walls next to the cash register, six or so aisles of clothing on either side of the building. It was such an odd place, kind of like a mini-WalMart. There was a girl hunched over the counter, staring at her phone. I couldn’t blame her- I’d hardly seen anyone come in here. The lack of business must be why only she worked here. 

I perused the aisle I’d stopped into. Women’s undergarments. That was a good start actually. I dug through underwear, socks, and bras, picking up enough pairs to account for a full week. I checked to make sure the girl was still on her phone before crossing the big gap into the other aisle right across from me. All I had seen was sweatpants and I was sold. Didn’t matter that they were in men’s sizes, I just held them up to see if they would fit and read the tag and picked out a few more. They were mostly grey and black so now I’d be matching Jack’s aesthetic.

I snooped around for shirts for longer than I would’ve liked to admit, going through four aisles before realizing that they were at the very front. The ones by the wall were all way too big on me- they’d be nightgowns more than shirts. The smaller sizes were by the center aisle of the store. I picked up a black t-shirt, holding it up to my chest to make sure it looked like it would fit.

“(Y/N)?” Someone asked, voice cracking. 

That wasn’t Jack.

And I recognized it.

I looked at the only other person in the store. 

The cashier.

And I saw my sister.

Eve looked like a copy of our mom while I took on our dad’s traits. She had long brown hair, always tucked neatly behind her ears and held in place with colourful barrettes, and fair skin. Blue eyes big enough that she could use them to make people feel guilty if she wanted to. She was the taller of us, older by two years too. She was the type of person to stay out late to make sure little kids got home safely and she volunteered at homeless shelters frequently. 

I dropped the pile of clothes in my arms and ran around the counter towards her, jumping into her arms, tears falling while I had the biggest, dopiest smile plastered on my face. The odds of this happening- I didn’t care to think anymore, I just buried my face in her shoulder, wrapping my arms around her back as tightly as she crushed me to her chest. 

“You’re here, you’re really here, I can’t believe it, oh my god, are you okay?” She pulled away from our embrace to hold my face in her hands. I could see the bags under her eyes. She never had bags under her eyes. How much had she been troubled by this? It didn’t matter in the moment, what mattered was that I was here and she was here and everything was suddenly okay.

I nodded harder than I ever had before, holding her close again. I could hear her sniffling as she too cried, mumbling about how worried she had been, how glad she was I was safe and here with her, how she loved me. I couldn’t say anything back but she knew. She knew ASL but we didn’t need it right now. We only needed each other. Words didn’t need to be spoken, holding each other was enough for me to tell her that I was okay and safe and for her to tell me how much she missed me.

It felt nice to be held like this. In the weeks I’d been with Jack, the only contact I’d had with someone was when they were trying to hurt me. I didn’t feel shame as I cried. It wasn’t out of sadness- how could I be sad now? Eve was here. Eve made everything better. She was the best person I knew. I didn’t want this moment to end, to let go of her beige sweater ever again.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

I froze. We both did. I’d forgotten about Jack in my hunt for clothes. I quickly wiped the tears from my face, untangling myself from Eve’s arms. Her eyes were wide as she spluttered, unable to form coherent words. She connected the dots, knew that I was here with a murderer. That I hadn’t escaped. That I was still a captive.

“Is this your sister? I don’t really care, get away from her  _ now _ ,” he commanded. I started to move but Eve shot her arm out to block me. 

“Get out of here before I call the police!” She finally said, snatching up her phone. 

Jack slid the scalpel out of his pocket. “Don’t you dare call the police. Put the phone down.”

This was going to go  _ very _ bad if I didn’t step in to stop it. Eve wouldn’t back down and neither would Jack. 

I shoved her arm out of the way, ignoring her frantic scream of “what are you doing?”, and went to confront my captor instead. It didn’t take long for her to swipe and start dialing. In the instant she did, Jack was leaping forward with a snarl. I pushed him back with everything I had, amazingly holding him back. I looked at Eve through the corner of my eye and quickly signed for her to wait. She started to protest but shut her mouth when I signed it again faster. I ushered Jack into the aisle I’d dropped my clothes in, surprised he was letting me push him around- we both knew how easily he could be unaffected by anything I did. 

“We are leaving,  _ now _ . Get your shit and get in the car.” He hissed, holding onto his weapon like his life depended on it. It probably did.

I fumbled with the phone, hands shaking. His impatience was evident: constantly checking on Eve, tapping his foot on the ground, fiddling with the scalpel. I supposed, in his defense, the police who could possibly kill him with enough bullets were a threat. 

“Let me just say goodbye, please Jack.” I didn’t even hit ‘play’ so that the voice could read it- just showed him the screen when I was done. 

“No. Get in the car. I’ll handle this.”

Handle it? He wasn’t going to hurt my sister, by any means. I would make sure of that with my life. 

“Don’t kill her, don’t hurt her, please, she didn’t do anything.” Again, I simply showed it to him. 

He seemed to read it, head drifting off to look at the side to the center aisle. Suddenly he was stepping out faster than I could move to grab him. “ **DROP THE FUCKING PHONE!** ” He yelled. I flinched away from him- the demonic undertone pouring into his voice to make him sound ten times more threatening. I peered out to see Eve with her hands in the air, phone in one hand. She slowly placed it on the counter with a violently shaking hand, not breaking eye contact with Jack. He growled, low in his throat. He started to take another step out of the aisle, murderous intent dripping off of him. 

I couldn’t do much. But I did know a couple things.

One, Jack was angry. And panicked. He had the threat of the authorities hanging over him. He would do whatever it took to get away and I was sure he would kill me to do that, regardless of how he felt about me. He also wasn’t listening to me.

Two, Eve wasn’t listening to me when I told her to wait. She didn’t know what Jack was like- she’d just get him even more furious. And if that happened I wouldn’t be able to negotiate. He’d just do whatever he wanted to. I was the only one she might reasonably listen to.

Three, I really didn’t know what to do in the moment. The situation was tense, each side ready to fire at a moments notice. I was the only thing standing between Jack and my sister. There were probably a number of other things I could’ve done. Picked up the clothes and gotten into his car with him, or do what I wanted to do and say goodbye to Eve. Or I could do what I did next. 

In yet another brilliant moment of stupidity, I jumped a gap and made a connection that I knew I shouldn’t have been made. I tugged Jack back into this aisle, shoved his mask up, and kissed him. It was a last ditch attempt to get him to stop and listen to me. 

His lips were cold and he froze, arm raised halfway as if to push me away, and the growl ceased to exist. I pulled away as quickly as I’d initiated it, searching desperately to see if it had had the desired effect, senselessly mouthing “please” over and over.

He only stayed motionless for eight seconds before pulling his mask down and leaning close to my ear, gripping my shoulder hard.

“You have until I’m done putting your shit into the car.”

He let go of me and crouched down, beginning to scoop up the clothes I’d dropped. I almost didn’t move, filled with shock. 

He listened.

He listened to me.

Oh fuck he listened to me and I was running out of time. 

I ran back behind the counter to Eve who was shaking, looking at her phone like a starving shark did to an unfortunate fish. I spun her towards me, not waiting to see if she was paying attention, just signing what she needed to know.

“Jack won’t kill me unless he has to. I’m safe. I’ll be okay. Don’t call the police for at least an hour. It’ll give us enough time to get away. If the police get to us he’ll kill me if it means he gets away.”

Jack left the store, the door closing behind him. Eve looked at her phone again. 

“I’m calling them  _ now, _ they can catch him,” she cried, reaching for it.

I slapped her hand away. It stabbed a hole in my heart to refuse help from my family but it was the only way for everyone to make it out safe. Not just me and her, any civilians, any police officers called to scene. I had to protect them.

“If you call them then he’ll kill us and them. Eve, just trust me and only call them after an hour.”

“I can’t lose you again, (Y/N), I can’t let you  _ die _ !” She screeched, looking between me and the door.

“He won’t kill me unless he has to! He won’t do anything to me unless someone else makes becomes a threat. Eve I know how to stay safe, everything will be okay I promise-”

I stopped signing when I heard the door open again. We both snapped our heads to look at him, scalpel in hand. 

“(Y/N).” He said. He didn’t need to add the extra words for me to know he was telling me to get in the car.

“I love you Eve, I love you so much, and I’ll try to talk to you again I will, I love you,” I signed. Jack grew impatient, briskly walking over and grabbing my arm, dragging me out. Eve reached out to me and our fingers connected for just a moment but I felt the warmth in them as she repeated the three words I’d said over and over. 

She didn’t pick up her phone or move from behind the counter, making the right choice and following what I’d told her. 

Jack opened the passenger side door, shoved me inside, and closed it, hurrying over to his own side. Sobs racked my body, watching through the store windows as Eve cradle her head in her hands, collapsing against the countertop. 

Meanwhile, Jack grumbled something, starting the car, and shooting a look at me. He said something else I didn’t catch and leaned over to grab the seat belt. He buckled me in, an action I would’ve seen affectionate had we been under different circumstances. Instead, I hid myself in my arms as he peeled out of the parking lot and onto the road, slamming on the gas. Usually he followed driving laws. They went out of the window as he swerved onto different empty roads. 

Now it made sense why he waited until night. And why he stayed on the outskirts.

In almost no time we were on the straight road that we would take for about an hour before turning and beginning the complicated set of twists and turns throughout a sprawling forest.

He didn’t say anything to me the entire time. Nothing, as I eventually calmed down my shuddering breaths, wiped my eyes, sniffled, and watched trees go by around us. 

As natural as it seemed, my eyelids drooped closed, no doubt as exhausted as the rest of me. 

I couldn’t even think straight, couldn’t think about what had just happened. Maybe I’d just forget that it ever did. I didn’t need to worry Eve more because as far as she knew, I was dead. That had never happened so she didn’t know. She didn’t have to worry about me anymore. She would be okay. She’d be okay now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo things get real   
> Enjoy >:3  
> I also made a tumblr and a discord!! Come hang out lmao  
> https://squishejs.tumblr.com/  
> https://discord.gg/yrEBfa9

I had drifted off in the car but woken up about twenty minutes before we pulled back up to the manor. It remained silent between us. Good. He tossed me a few bags from the trunk so I could shovel the clothes we’d stolen into them. I held both with my bad arm, reaching up to close the trunk with a loud  _ thunk _ .

I followed Jack up the creaky porch steps, rubbing a bit of eye gunk off from the corner of my eye. He didn’t look back at me to see if I was closing the door and not trying to escape. Most of me was tempted to run again.

I closed the door.

I turned around and saw Jack frozen at the entrance to the living room. Something was wrong. I sped-walked my way over and looked at the room. Toby and Ben were on the couch, Jeff leaning on it behind them. Up stairs, looking down over the railing, were Tim and Brian. None of them looked particularly happy. They were all watching the tv, largely ignoring our presence. Fear crawled up my back as I slowly flitted my eyes over to it.

A newscaster with grey hair and bushy mustache was sitting at his desk, a few papers in front of him. 

“-called the police an hour after they were gone. Footage from the store cameras shows the two walking in and grabbing clothes.”

Next the the man, a slightly grainy camera feed showed Jack and I walking into the store. How had they gotten all of this so fast? If Eve had called after an hour, that would have given them three hours to do this. How the fuck?

“The captive, (Y/N) (L/N), and her sister, Eve (L/N), who was working the cash register at the time, recognized each other. Their reunion didn’t last long. Quickly confronted by her kidnapper, Jack Nyras who’s been on the FBI’s most wanted list for three years, (Y/N) put herself between the two, apparently holding him back. Eve explained later on to authorities that she was ordered not to call the police while her sister negotiated with the killer. In this clip here, you can see that the two appear to kiss.”

In the footage, I reached up, pushed Jack’s mask up which wasn’t seen very well from the angle of the camera, but you could clearly see me rising up, hands on his face, bringing us together for a few seconds. The newscaster continued.

“From here, the kidnapper put the clothes into their car while Eve and (Y/N) talked. Eve said her sister reassured her that she would be fine as long as authorities weren’t notified for at least an hour. Eve did what she said, and we can only hope that no harm has come to (Y/N).”

The feed from the store stopped playing, replaced by a picture of Jack from an odd angle. He was wearing all black and his signature blue mask in the picture, bloody scalpel in a gloved hand. 

“We would like to take this time to remind civilians that if they see Jack Nyras, not to engage, and to call authorities immediately.”

The tv went to a commercial about lemonade.

The five killers in the room slowly turned their heads to look at us. Even Jeff was frowning a little bit, a weird expression considering his carved smile. What was so wrong about this that they’d all be hanging around like vultures? Aside from the obvious, but they were all deranged.

Toby went from staring at me to Jack and said a moment later, “Dude. You fucked up.”

Jack’s shoulders were raised apprehensively. Stiff. He wasn’t giving off the angry vibe. Was he scared? Of what? He seemed to figure out how to move again, turning his body ninety degrees to look at me.

“Did you tell her to call the police?” He asked in a low tone.

I opened my mouth to explain, then shut it. He wouldn’t listen to me in front of everyone else. With other people around, we weren’t equals. He was the one in charge and I was the girl he kidnapped to do his bidding. None of them would take my words seriously. So I nodded. 

That was the wrong answer, even though it was the honest one, because he grabbed me by the front of his sweater, lifting me up off my feet just a bit. I clawed at his hand furiously, scratching it in multiple places. He wasn’t growling or anything, painfully silent, threateningly so. Oh god how much had that kiss messed everything up?

“Jack! Boss wants to see you,” a little girl’s voice rang out. Jack dropped me without warning and I stumbled a bit as I fell back onto the floor, picking myself up to look at who had said it. The girl couldn’t have been older than 9, if even that, wearing a nightgown, clutching a toy to her chest. Dead children lived here.

Jack grabbed my good arm, pulling me along behind him up the stairs. They tracked us with their eyes as we left the room, Tim and Brian sharing a glance. We passed too quickly for me to get a good look at the girl but I could’ve sworn I saw blood dripping down her face from her forehead. 

As he pulled me through different hallways I tried prying his arm off of mine- he was sure to leave a bruise with how tight he was holding me. Finally we stopped in front of a tall dark door. I noticed that it was the only door in this hallway. He yanked the plastic bags from my hands and set them by the door. 

“Keep your head down and don’t do anything one of us doesn’t tell you to. Make one wrong move and Boss will kill you, got it?” He instructed me in a hushed voice. That threat was enough to root me to my spot. I didn’t have a single doubt that he was telling the truth and suddenly the possibility of death was real again.

The boss of them all, who recruited murderers, dead children, and demons alike. And who, if I remembered correctly from Jack’s story, had no face, sheet white skin, black tentacles, and abnormally long limbs. They were both monsters.

Jack knocked on the door before opening it, taking my arm much more gently than before to guide me into the room. He positioned me in front of a chair, pushing me down a little to tell me to sit. I could only assume he was doing the same next to me from the rustling of his clothes. A murmuring static filled my ears, another thing I knew from Jack that happened around his boss. 

“Good morning, Mr. Nyras,” a rumbling deep voice greeted him. I hated that it sounded almost normal. Almost. It still put me on edge and I fought to keep from curling in on myself as a pitiful attempt for protection. I tried to sit up straight, and didn’t dare to look at anything but my feet.

“Good morning, Boss.” Jack was way too polite for my liking- too nice-sounding compared to his anger issues.

“How have you been?”

“Sir, if we can, may we address why you called me in here?” He sounded hostile despite the formal words, like he was going to have to fight any moment.

“Of course. You know that I have no problem with you bringing in your food alive but due to recent events it’s come to my attention that your relationship with this girl is growing beyond that of food and consumer.”

Food and consumer. That was how our dynamic was supposed to be. What else would he have done with the bodies of his assistants?

“What about it?”

“I don’t want this to get in the way of your work. Quite frankly, I don’t like that she’s affecting your decision-making skills. Should I need you on a job, the moment you hesitate is the moment you could potentially ruin a plan.”

“She’s not getting in the way of my work,” Jack said, tone ice cold. 

“You took minutes to come to a decision in that store mere hours ago, solely because she and her sister were present.”

“I needed to make sure I didn’t get caught, I had to be careful,” he protested. 

“Even now, you’re arguing for her sake. You wouldn’t have fought for the one before her or any of the people you bring back here. My point is, she’s more to you and if it becomes a problem I will not hesitate to remove her from the premises.” I had the distinct feeling he wasn’t talking about letting me go. “Do you understand?”

He saw me as more to him. I was more than food. I knew I was more already since he was hesitant to hurt me, but holy shit was I actually getting through to him romantically? I hadn’t thought about what this could do in terms of his job but I was sure he’d handle it. Jack didn’t seem like the type to flake or do a half-ass job simply because he’d gotten distracted.

Jack was silent for a long time, mulling over the one-sided conversation. If you could even call it one, honestly. It was more like he was receiving a warning that he clearly didn’t want- I could practically hear him grinding his teeth as he spat out a “yes” through them.

“Good. You are dismissed.”

Jack stood up so I followed suit, gratefully we were leaving. I couldn’t see either of them but I really didn’t want to see the abomination that was sitting in front of me.

“Not you.”

He was talking to me.

“What?” Jack asked. I felt his fingertips just barely brushing over my arm. He must’ve been about to lead me out of the room.

Every ounce of confidence I had that I could make it out of this room alive was drained from my body. What could he possibly want to say to  _ me _ of all people? 

“Mr. Nyras, please leave the room. This will not take long.”

Jack grumbled incoherent words as his footsteps got further away. The door shut close behind him. 

“So, Ms. (Y/N), do you have a romantic interest in Mr. Nyras?” He asked me. Fuck. I felt my heart speed up and prayed he couldn’t hear it through some otherworldly powers.

I nodded, still staring at the ground. Not a moment later,  _ something _ wrapped around my neck and my wrists, holding me up in air a couple of feet. His tentacles, I remembered. It took every piece of my willpower not to claw at them so he’d release me and I could get air into my lungs. He was squeezing so tight- could he break my bones like this? I shut my eyes tight so I wouldn’t see him. I was sure that if I looked at the horrific beast choking me right now I’d freeze up and be unable to move, unable to give the correct responses. Hell, even now I was as still as I could be.

“Don’t lie to me,” he hissed. “I know you’re just playing a game with him.” He paused, possibly for dramatic effect. “I’ll let him find out on his own but the moment you step out of line in my house again is the moment you will die. That is all. You’re dismissed.”

Boss dropped me to the floor, and I barely had enough time to put my arms up to shield my face, landing on the ground with a grunt, panting for breath. I stood up and opened my eyes to navigate to the door but I still didn’t look up. I fumbled with the handle before opening it, stepping out, and closing it. Jack was leaning against the wall next to the door, arms crossed. He looked at me and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking with that damn mask on. 

“You’re shaking,” he observed. Was I? I hadn’t noticed. I could feel his gaze on my wrists where Boss had grabbed them and then Jack was gently moving my head up to look at my neck. Christ, was it bruising already? I’d just had my life threatened again, except this time I knew that I couldn’t do anything to sway Boss’s opinion. He meant it when he said he would kill me if I stepped out of line. What did that even mean? Was it trying to get Jack on my side? Kissing him? Fighting Ben? 

I’d have to give up all of my fight to be sure that I didn’t die. How could I get by in this house without fighting? It had been the only way to stop Jeff from raping me sooner, from stopping Ben from drowning me, from keeping Jack from killing me in his sleep. I would have to be tough. I would have to be careful not to get into those situations. 

If I stuck by Jack or Toby if he was told to watch me, then Jeff wouldn’t make any moves. Neither would Ben, most likely, and I could work on keeping my emotions in check to avoid making any brash decisions. I could be wary of Jack when he was in a mood and probably just avoid waking him up when he seemed to have nightmares.

I could work with this.

So much had happened today. Between Jack and I during the night, waking up in his bed like it was a normal thing, finding Eve and being ripped from her side within the span of ten minutes, facing the aftermath on the news, and meeting Boss, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to think about any of it. I knew I should, even try to talk to Jack about his apparent feelings for me- whether romantic or simply interested in what I was like- but I just couldn’t. I thought if I focused on it for another minute I’d break down in a sobbing mess all over again. But I was pretty sure that I couldn’t cry even if I wanted to.

Jack seemed to understand this because he didn’t say anything else. He simply picked up the bag of clothes and walked in front of me, leading me out of the maze of hallways. I absentmindedly rubbed at my wrists and neck, wincing slightly at the pain. The walk back to the living room felt shorter than the trek to the office but I paid it no mind, returning the stare Tim and Brian gave me as we went down the stairs. Ben was no longer in the room but Jeff and Toby were on the couch, talking in hushed voices about something.

“How’d it go, man?” Toby asked, breaking away from their conversation. He actually looked worried, a frown plastered on his face. Jack stopped walking and turned to look at the two.

“He thinks I’m going to fuck up my job,” Jack snorted. 

“Why?”

Jack must have hesitated for a moment too long because Jeff read his face, eyebrows shooting up, and grinned incredulously, pushing his carved smile deeper into uncanny valley. “Holy shit, you actually do like the bitch.”

Excuse me? Did he just call me a bitch? I almost took a step forward to wipe that grin off of his face myself but remembered I couldn’t. I forced myself to stay still and roll with it. 

“I think ‘like’ is a bit strong. I’d say more along the lines of ‘I want to know more about her.’” Jack replied, calm as could be. I admired his ability to be relaxed here, under the scrutinizing gaze of four murderers.

“Jack, you’re playing a dangerous game,” one of the two said from above us. I didn’t bother looking up to see who. 

“I gotta agree, it’s nice to joke around, but you’re not playing anymore,” Toby added.

“So?”

“You’re digging yourself into a hole. Get yourself out of it before you break a leg jumping to reach the top.” That one sounded more like Brian.

“Why do you all give a shit anyways?”

“As much as I hate you, we do need you to keep doing what you do. If you’re suddenly dropping it for her, then things go south and we end up in the shithole we all started out in,” Jeff said. He sounded remarkably serious which meant that me toeing the line with a relationship was really as big of a deal as Boss was making it out to be.

“That’s going not to happen. If my contract is terminated, I know at least one of you would try to kill me. You’d all be dead by now if it weren't for me. Boss needs me, he’s not going to let me leave. I’m going back to my room- no one bother me unless it’s an emergency,” Jack finished, not even giving them a chance to say anything else before he opened the door to the basement and started his descent. 

I held Toby’s gaze for just a moment until I scurried after the demon, shutting the door behind me. By the time I had gotten down the steps, he was already pulling out his laptop. Always doing something work related, huh?

I ambled my over to my bed, noting my new clothes next to it. I crawled in under the sheets, curled up tight, and shut my eyes. I could feel the exhaustion washing over my drained form and I happily let it. In the morning I’d be able to sort through everything and figure it out. 

“Hey, (Y/N), what did- Oh.”

\--

A loud growl tore through the air. My eyes flicked open for a second, looking into the dark. Light peeked at the edge of my vision and I followed it. Jack was sitting on his bed, mask off, laptop open. Something was playing on it but I couldn’t make out what was being said. He hit the spacebar to pause it and shoved the device off of his lap, standing up and tugging on his hair with both hands while growling louder and louder. I quickly shut my eyes so that if he looked over here, he wouldn’t see that I was awake and watching his outburst. Something moved, then footsteps. The bathroom light clicked on and the door creaked but it didn’t shut. A moment later I heard a muffled scream ripped from Jack’s throat, much too human and frustrated for my liking. The horrid sound ended, and the door creaked again. 

I evened my breathing so he wouldn’t know I was awake. Regardless, his voice once again cut through the silence.

“Are you awake?” He almost sounded hopeful.

I kept my eyes closed, and simply breathed. I didn’t want to be a part of whatever had made him yell like that. 

It felt like hours passed before he mumbled dejectedly, “Oh. Guess not.”

Footsteps resumed, alongside rattling from the things being moved around on the big tables next to my bed. After a few minutes, the rustling stopped, the bathroom light flicked off, and all noise ceased to exist. 

\--

I looked up from my new book, another sci-fi, this one about an alien civilization going to war with humans. Sure, I’d been reading, but my mind wasn’t really in it. I was mostly mulling over everything that had happened, and I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around it all. 

It might be best if I went from event to event to sort things out.

Starting with Eve. So I’d seen my sister again. I didn’t want to think about how much pain she must be in. Everyone had confirmation that I was alive, despite apparently believing I wasn’t. I doubted the investigation would continue- why would they try again when they haven’t been able to catch him for four years? They knew I’d be gone eventually. I had kissed Jack, a horrible decision, really, but it had worked to my advantage. He stopped and listened to me and acted much more calmly. 

Then… the aftermath. The solemn air smothering the living room, the disapproval from everyone, I mean even Jeff had logical things to say and actual concerns. And Boss. He didn’t like me. Well, more accurately, he didn’t like that I was “just playing a game with him.” I wouldn’t call it a game, this was life or death. Boss thought I was going to take away Jack’s focus of doing his job, and true, I technically would be, but he wasn’t dumb. Up until now while I laid down shabby groundwork for a relationship he’d done his job. He wouldn’t stop because he knew the consequences and he needed to stay here. 

If anything, Boss was the idiot. 

And of course, the whole stepping-out-of-line thing. I didn’t know what he meant so I’d just stop attacking dead children.

“What?” Jack asked.

I blinked, coming to my senses and getting out of my head. 

“You’ve been staring at me for a while.”

Shit.

I looked around for the phone- better to talk to him while I had his attention and not interrupt whatever he was doing too much. I got out of my bed and went over to sit on the edge of his since I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hear the voice. Despite being at max volume, it was pretty quiet.

“We should talk about yesterday,” I typed.

“We should. Let’s start with why you kissed me,” he said, closing his laptop and pushing it to the side. 

Go big or go home, I guess. “You weren’t listening to me and you were going to hurt my sister. It was the only thing I could think of in the moment.”

“You thought that was the answer?”

“Well it worked, didn’t it?” When he didn’t say anything, I typed more. “And you apparently have feelings for me?”

“I’m interested. You don’t act like any other victim, hell you slept in my bed, and, just,  _ why? _ You actually give to two shits about me sometimes, I want to know why,” he said, sockets narrowed accusingly. 

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Because I fucking kidnapped you!” He grabbed the front of his sweater that I was still wearing and pulled me right up to him. I braced my hands on his arms to keep myself from accidentally hitting his head with my own from how fast he’d yanked me into his lap. We were eye level now. “I kidnapped you, cut you, bit you, threatened your sister, and you’re still trying to care!”

I had to look down awkwardly in his grip to type. “I’m not trying, I do care,” I lied. Well, that might not be a lie, actually. I did care if he was mad or not, what was going in his head, how it might affect my chances of survival.

“ _ Why? _ ” He repeated.

“I don’t know. Why are you interested in me?” I countered.

He frowned. “Because you care. You don’t stop fighting and I can fucking admire that. You stand up to me even though I could break you so easily.”

Jack studied my face. I didn’t have a response for that. I didn’t have anything snarky to throw back at him. His head tilted down ever so slightly as he went over my features, then looked back up. 

Oh. Did he want to…?

I wasn’t opposed. After all, I was the one who kissed him first.

He slowly closed the gap between us, hesitant, lips still cold. It didn’t last long and little sparks flew, if any at all. It was like he was testing the waters, like he was seeing if he might want to show affection like this. But then, he kissed me again, this time more confident. I played along, setting the phone down and putting my hands on his sides. He let go of his sweater, cupping my face in his equally cold hands. 

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little exciting. Finally making good moves,  _ very _ good moves that he clearly enjoyed. Maybe a part of me enjoyed it a little too, but I’d put it up to biology, or something.

He sat up a little straighter, a content sigh escaping his lips as he kissed me again and again. I swore his frigid hands began to thaw, becoming impossibly warm as his thumbs drew small circles on my face. Maybe it was my face that was burning up, not his hands, but it didn’t matter. One of his hands left my cheeks, snaking to the back of my head, pulling me closer, if that was even possible with how I was pressed right up against his chest. 

We finally broke away for air, and he stared into my eyes, panting quietly. “Fuck,” he whispered, so faint I almost couldn’t hear it. I wished, not for the first time, to know what was going on in his head.

Had I done a good enough job? Was this okay with him?

I could only hope.

And I really didn’t need to, because once he’d caught his breath, he was back at it. His hand weaved through my hair, the other one that had been on my face trailing down my back, sending shivers up my spine. 

He was so soft in this moment. No yelling, no anger, no biting, no painful grips, nothing but loving touches. 

My hands couldn’t find anything to do so they wandered his chest and abdomen, feeling just how muscular and strong he was under the shirt. I’d seen him half-naked before, I knew exactly what he looked like under here. I knew scars littered his torso, and I knew that some of them were probably his own work.

He left my lips, tugging gently on my hair. I complied, tilting my head back, while he made work of my neck on the side he hadn’t bit. His hands rested at my sides, holding my body still while my hands worked under his shirt to dance across his skin. He was trying to make sure he didn’t graze me with those needle sharp teeth, especially the parts where Boss had left me bruised, I realized.

Was this what Jack used to be like? Caring, gentle, considerate of what he was doing and how it would affect someone? Because if I could draw this out more often life would be luxurious. 

He pulled away from my neck and looked at me, breathing heavily now. 

“We should stop,” he grunted, hands leaving my abdomen. A part of me missed the contact but I was probably just touch starved.

I grabbed his phone from the side where it had fallen. “You don’t like it?” I asked.

“No, no, I like it, I like it a lot actually, but I can’t… I still can’t figure out why you’re… Why you’re being like this. Whatever, it doesn’t matter,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. I went to ask him more but something else caught my attention under the grey sleeve. 

I caught his hand and pulled it down. Bandages were wrapped around a portion of his forearm, flecks of blood peeking through. Jack looked sourly at it, reading my lips when I mouthed “what” at him. 

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he lied. 

He wasn’t making any moves to take his arm back so I examined the spots more closely. The muffled scream… I dropped his arm in favour of the phone.

“Did you bite yourself?” I typed in. It was my turn to look at him accusingly.

“Yes.”

I was surprised he actually admitted to it but before I could type anything else, he took his phone from my hands, tucking it in his jean pocket. Why had he done it? There were a million other things he could’ve bitten if he needed to bite something, like a pillow. I made a reach for the phone but took my hand back. Maybe if I just gave him some space this time and didn’t pester him with too many questions he’d be more apt to talk about it later.

“No more questions, just don’t worry about it, okay? I need to think about this for a bit,” he said, shooing me off his lap.

I sat on the other side of him, watching as he simply laid down and rolled over onto his side. Maybe it was good that I think about what just happened too. I shoved his laptop down by our feet and since we’d just made out, I figured it was okay if I took a small nap or just laid down with him. 

Made out. We made out. Yesterday, I kissed Jack out of panic, and today I made out with him. What the actual fuck. If I’d known doing that would help this relationship progress that much I would’ve done it when I first thought up this plan. 

There still wasn’t much of a discussion about yesterday between us though. That had gotten swept under the rug and further ignored when we started going back and forth. Which he liked about me. That was pretty okay, I supposed. Maybe his tastes developed for someone who speaks their mind and fights back, rather than his usual victims who probably did whatever he said, no questions asked. 

He didn’t know why I was caring so much though. From his point of view, I supposed I could see the logic. To him, this probably looked like Stockholm Syndrome or something similar. But I’d been asking for information since the beginning and he didn’t know me before so the only thing he could really assume was that I was always like this, not just planning for survival. 

He still clearly didn’t think he was deserving of the affection I was giving him. I wondered if he’d be the same if he wasn’t like this. If we’d met simply because of chance if he was still human. 

He was most likely being cautious because his last relationship had ended with him being a cult sacrifice, I reminded myself. 

He’d been having nightmares about it recently, right? Was it because I was making moves, reminding him of relationships? I hadn’t meant to dredge up old traumatic memories. It would make sense for him to be so guarded about it now. I hoped he didn’t think I would try to hurt him like that. 

I hoped he knew he was worthy of love.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than the other chapters, but it's pretty intense so have fun reading!!

I woke up when something slid along my side. 

I couldn’t see anything- the lights were off. But… they’d been on when I fell asleep. Well, I supposed Jack had decided to take a nap too. And that thing on my side felt like an arm. Now that I was thinking about how close we were, I realized my hands were tucked in-between our chests. I could just barely feel him breathing at the top of my head so I knew he must be facing me. 

This was suddenly more much intimate than I felt it should’ve been. True, we’d kissed, but this was another level of closeness I didn’t think would happen at all. To be fair, however, he might not even know how close we were. Maybe we’d gotten close in our sleep. Yea, that’s what had happened. He wasn’t just embracing me because he wanted to. 

He smelled like new books, that distinct relaxing scent that wafts out when you fan the pages.

I shut my eyes again, not much difference compared to the void I could see. And then Jack’s arm moved again, just shaking a bit. A few seconds later a low growl came from within his throat. It didn’t last long but the shaking didn’t stop.

I could feel my heart speed up. Was he having another nightmare? I didn’t have the knife with me right now, what if he decided to attack me? If I moved, even an inch, that might set him off. He could kill me and not even realize it.

“I’ll… kill you... “ he mumbled. “I will tear you… limb… from limb.”

Wait.

That’s what he said when he first attacked me in his sleep. Was this the same nightmare? And if so, he was definitely set to strangle me if I woke him up. 

“You ruined me,” he snarled, words clear and precise, not like the slurs he’d been uttering before. “I love you and this is what I get for it? Why? Why? Why would you do this to me? Why?” With each word his voice becomes more strained and panicked, slowly rising in volume. Then, without warning, he shot upright, breathing hard like he just ran a marathon. 

He had addressed one of the people who made him into a monster. The one he loved, that girl. He killed that girl. I don’t know what else I suspected him to do, but I could’ve sworn he told me that he hadn’t been able to remember anything after the ritual for a few days. Had he lied?

The logical part of me told me to pretend to still be asleep. The logical part of me also reminded me my heart was racing a mile a minute and that he could smell fear. I didn’t know how much he’d let me help, but I could at least make some effort to try calming him down. I wasn’t sure it’d work though. After all, I was the one likely dredging up these memories. 

I slowly sat up, still cautious because I didn’t how much of him was really there. He did seem awake for the most part though. I reached out in his general direction and felt his hand. He flinched,  _ actually flinched _ , and pulled away while he caught his breath. 

I started mouthing “Are you okay?” before I remembered he couldn’t read my lips in the dark. He’d taken the phone last- it had to be on the bed somewhere. I blindly reached out, my hand gliding on the sheets until I found it half underneath his pillow. 

I squinted at the harshly glowing screen, the light burning my eyes. I blinked to get rid of it, and pulled up Bing. 

“Are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” he muttered back, sarcasm dripping off his tongue.

“What was that all about?” I asked. If he just-

“I’m not doing this again.”

“Jack you can’t just close me off forever,” I pressed. He was so frustratingly difficult sometimes, well, most of the time, and it made  _ me _ want to strangle  _ him _ .

“Watch me,” he spat out venomously, laying back down, facing away from me. 

There wasn’t a point in trying to get him to talk more. He wouldn’t respond and if he did, it would be to tell me to stop trying, to shut up. I glared at his back and laid down next to him, facing away from him. 

If he would just trust me, even a little, things might be better. He wouldn’t have to bottle everything up. I knew it wasn’t healthy, and I knew he knew that too. But I couldn’t  _ force _ him to open up, as much as I tried. He had to be willing to do that on his own. I just didn’t know if he was.

\--

I rolled over, my face buried in someone’s side. Jack’s, my sleepy mind supplied minutes later. I sat up a little, the room still dark. This time, Jack was the one awake before me, on his phone. I crossed my legs criss cross applesauce style and rubbed my eyes to shake the sleep out of them. Some part of me was embarrassed to have gotten that close but I knew it should be halfway normal by now. I mean, Jack was obviously cool with it, so I shouldn’t be worried. 

“You hungry?” He asked, voice rough but not in a mean way, in a soft tone.

I nodded, hoping he could see it clearly with the lack of light, his phone the only dim source.

He grunted and swung his legs off the bed, shutting his phone off. I scooted off the bed and immediately became disoriented. Which way were the stairs? Okay, if I was on the side of the bed, then left and forward were the stairs, provided I didn’t over or undershoot and hit a wall. Jack’s hand grabbed my wrist, pulling me to the right where I found the first step. 

I held onto the railing with a death grip, making sure my entire foot was on the step before going up. Something about being in the dark made me just feel like I would trip over nothing and fall down all the stairs but I didn’t have to worry for long since Jack opened the door, light flooding in. I quickly hurried up the rest of the steps and shut the door behind me.

Jeff, Toby, and Ben were on the couch, game controllers in hand. I looked at the tv screen to see… Smash Bros? Well, I supposed they liked video games too, they were human after all. They didn’t pay us any mind, too focused on their game. When I got to the kitchen, Jack was already inspecting the coffee pot. I headed straight for the cabinet with cereal in it.

“Toby, how old is this coffee?” Jack called out.

“Uhh...It’s from this morning,” he responded, followed by a loud curse and a laugh from Jeff.

Jack took out a mug, just as I was getting a spoon. Cinnamon Toast Crunch filled my bowl to the brim and I was reminded of that fact that I hadn’t actually eaten dinner last night. 

“Did I hurt you again in my sleep?” Jack asked me, taking a sip of coffee. He fished the phone from his pocket and handed it to me.

“No. Are you drinking cold coffee?” I took another bite of cereal, eyeing his cup suspiciously. 

“Yes.”

“You’re a chaotic evil.”

His lips quirked up in a smirk. “You think?”

“You’re drinking cold coffee, I  _ know _ ,” I typed. Too normal. Too casual. But it’s supposed to be! I’m supposed to like him, I’m supposed to want this, I’m supposed to live here with no qualms. But it feels so wrong. Because it is wrong. This  _ isn’t _ how it’s supposed to go. 

I put the phone in my pocket and didn’t say anything else until I finished my meal. I washed out the bowl and spoon and set them in the drying rack. Jack, meanwhile, had drifted to the doorway to watch the Smash game. More laughter trickled in, followed by more cursing. I was just getting over to him, watching Link knock Kirby off the platform, when Ben dropped the controller and slumped forwards. Toby frowned and was reaching out a hand when he suddenly straightened up, eyes wide with panic. 

“There’s a data breach, someone tell Boss,” he blurted out before slumping forwards again.

Jeff vaulted himself over the couch and started sprinting upstairs in no time while Toby pulled Ben’s limp body so that he was laying down on the couch. I could see his red eyes from here- they were open and glazed over, that same look from when he pulled up Jack’s camera feed. It was obvious he wasn’t here with us… Did he literally go into the world of technology? Like some sort of cyber-spirit? Cyberghost? 

Jack set his cup on the counter. He ran a hand through his hair, visibly stressed, as he made his way over to Toby, talking to him in a hushed voice. I stood left behind in the doorway to think about what was happening. 

A data breach? Ben’s job… was to keep the government from getting their information. And if they had gotten past him, then they could get information about their identities, maybe even the location of this manor. 

I jumped when static filled the tv screen and was quickly replaced by Ben surrounded by black. His eyes were practically glowing red on the screen, his hands moving around wildly, like he was grabbing and swiping invisible objects.

“Get Tim and Brian, LJ too,” he said before the screen turned to static and back to the forgotten video game.

“I’ll get them, you stay here,” Toby said, running upstairs. 

Not a minute later, Jeff was jogging back and Boss  _ teleported _ into the room. With no warning, I didn’t put my head down, and stared at him while static faintly crackled in my ears. Just like Jack had described, he was easily ten feet tall, with sheet white skin, abnormally long arms hanging by his sides, and black tentacles sprouting from his back. He was wearing a suit and red tie. And he had a featureless face. No mouth, no eyes, no nose. Nothing. But I could still tell he was staring right back at me. 

One of those tentacles got too close for comfort and I took several steps backwards until I was pressed against the wall. My heart was beating out of my chest but it didn’t even matter because the biggest question going through my head was ‘Am I going to die?’ Would I die for looking at him? Everyone else looked at him, why couldn’t I? 

“Funny how confident you are until I show up,” he mused thoughtfully.

“Hey,” Jack growled threateningly, glaring at Boss. He was protecting me, holy shit he was standing up to this abomination in front of me. 

“Watch yourself, Mr. Nyras,” Boss warned, thankfully turning his attention to him. 

“Same to you, tentacles off my assistant,” Jack shot back.

“There aren’t any on her.”

“You sure as hell had them on her a couple days ago.”

“What’s going on?” Brian’s voice cut in. I glanced at the stairs to see Tim, Brian, Toby, and “LJ”. He was  _ at least _ seven feet tall, with strangely long arms wrapped in bandages. He was wearing suspenders and had a black and white colour scheme that even followed to his hair and skin. The most noticeable features were his sharp, pointed noise, and what looked black fur on his shoulders. Honestly, he looked decently similar to Boss.

The three of them trotted downstairs, LJ flashing me a creepy smile that I did not appreciate. Jack was by my side, and firing another sharp glare at Boss. He’d always been some part protective of me, though it was more for the sake of keeping me alive, but this time, I was pretty sure he was doing it because he  _ cared _ about me. 

“There’s been a data breach. I suppose we’ll be waiting for Ben to finish before he relays the damage,” Boss explained. 

“There’s been a  _ what? _ How did they even get through?” Tim asked, sounding just as stressed as Jack.

“It’s probably nothing big, you guys are just overreacting,” LJ said with a roll of his eyes.

“We’ll have to see.” 

Tense silence washed over the room after Boss spoke, each of us waiting for Ben to sit up. It felt like each second dragged on for hours, the worried creases in Toby and Tim’s faces, how LJ looked like he didn’t care, how Boss’s tentacles simply swayed as he stood motionless, and how Jack was growing more restless next to me, hands opening and closing in a fist, feet gently tapping the ground. Until, inevitably, the dead teenager rose from his spot on the couch looking considerably more exhausted than he had, ten, twenty minutes ago. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over again, looking at everyone surrounding the couch. If I looked close enough, I could see him shaking, just a bit. He regarded Boss with the most wariness, like he didn’t know if he’d be killed for this or not. If a ghost could be killed again, that is.

“Well? What happened?” Boss asked promptly. How did he talk with no mouth?

“I-I didn’t think they could get past what I had set up, they  _ shouldn’t _ have been able to get past me but I didn’t even notice for a few minutes. The government, they stole information, and I- I got them out and the defenses are back up but I don’t know if I can get what they took back.

They stole a lot, they stole Brian and Tim’s names, pictures, and the areas they zone. They have an updated picture of Toby’s face and a list of his assigned targets, they have Jeff’s zones and his current targets, and they have a picture of LJ. Jack’s laptop is on the network and they copied some of his files before I kicked them off, and they have a name on me.” He talked so fast, I didn’t even think he took a breath during all of it.

How valuable that information must be. If I took Jack for example, wearing a mask and gloves, going out at night, leaving no witnesses, and applied it to the rest of this house’s occupants… I didn’t know how much the government knew about them already but if they all kept their identities under wraps as much as Jack did, then their names, their faces, their past, their families could all be used against them. 

Their families. What happened to Jack’s family? Did he care about them? He had said he was an only child but surely he must love his parents. Maybe his appearance just didn’t allow it, but if he was nicer, more caring before the ritual then surely not too long after it he would’ve tried to contact them, right? Well, the government knew who he was anyways, so they could talk to his parents. I wondered if they’d ever used them to try and lure Jack out.

“You let them get our targets Ben? Are you fucking serious?” Toby snapped. It was the first time I’d seen him angry and I didn’t like it at all. It didn’t fit the chill persona he always carried with him around the house, the guy who just watched crappy tv all day.

“It’s not like I wanted this to happen,” Ben yelled back.

“Well obviously you’re fucking slacking if they got all of that, huh?”

“Ben, Toby, calm down,” Boss commanded and though Toby shut his mouth it didn’t stop him from shooting downright murderous looks at Ben. If Boss hadn’t been here, I think he might’ve actually attacked him. “So, to take care of this issue, Jeff, Toby, I want you two to go together on target assigned missions, but I’d lay low for a bit. Brian, Tim, you two should also lay low and be extra careful. LJ, you’re mostly okay, I’d just be more aware of what’s happening if you go out. Ben, I want you to be more vigilant and to put up stronger defenses since those ones fell. It might also help if you create separate files for everyone with false information to get them off our tail. And for Jack… What exactly was taken off of his computer?” 

Ben played with his fingers, folding them together and untangling them over and over again. “The documents where he detailed the changes to his body and a few of the experiments he’s run.”

Jack became impossibly still and then I got the gut instinct deep inside me to  _ run from danger _ .

“Hm... “ Boss thought for a moment, turning to look at the two of us. “Jack, you’ll need to be extremely careful. I’d appreciate it if whenever you go out that you take someone else with you as an extra pair of eyes. She doesn’t count.”

Jack simply turned around and started walking to the front door. I watched in disbelief- was he just leaving me here with them? I looked back to the group, a few of whom were staring at me, and quickly followed him. He was going into the forest by the time I was closing the door, and I ran so fast to catch up with him, I nearly tripped on the couple steps on the porch. 

He was looking at the ground, glaring at it intensely. I might’ve been mistaken but were the black tears coming out faster now? His hands were flexing at his sides, still curling into a fist then uncurling, then curling, then uncurling. 

He didn’t say anything, just kept walking. I spared a glance to the sky, noting the sun low in the sky. Must be about six or seven in the evening. And to think- I’d only woken up about an hour ago.

I pulled out the phone. “Where are you going?” 

“Nowhere.” Was the only response he offered.

“You can’t go ‘nowhere’, there’s something everywhere,” I said.

He suddenly whipped around and fixed that glare on me. “Why are you even following me?”

I blinked, unsure of how to respond. It took me a couple minutes to think and type it out but I thought it was honest. “You left me in a room with six murderers, most of who I’m pretty sure want to kill me. I mean, your boss is there, and he promised to kill me if I step out of line and he thinks I’m distracting you so given the chance he’d probably just try to off me while you can’t do anything, right? And besides, you just walked off without a word. You didn’t even growl and you always do that when you’re angry and I know you’re angry but you haven’t said anything else so maybe I’m worried about you, okay? It’s that much easier for the government to get you and if I was you I’d be pretty pissed too. I just want to make sure you’re going to be fine.”

Jack’s glare softened just a bit, not a lot, but it was noticeable. “You’re too caring. It’s going to get you killed one day.”

“Well, I’m not going to live long in a place like this anyways, am I?”

“No, but you can at least try.  _ Try  _ to do something to keep living. If I’m honest, it bugs me a little how easily you gave up. Do you do that with everything?” He asked. 

It hadn’t been intentional but I was gradually working his mind off of everything and I could see it in his facial expression, slowly but surely relaxing. I did have one idea, a likely terrible one, and one I should most definitely not act on.

“No, only when I get kidnapped.”

“Good to know.”

With that, he started walking again. I followed a few steps behind him. 

To  _ really _ take his mind off of everything, I could always try running away from him. He’d have no choice but to go get me. I didn’t think he’d severely injure me, maybe toss me around a bit but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I was strong enough by now to take whatever he threw at me. It’d give me some exercise that I desperately craved too. There was something liberating about running in a forest, just being free in nature like early humans had been. 

With the idea becoming more appealing, I couldn’t help myself. Despite the cost, it would help both of us. He clearly needed to stop thinking about this for a minute before he hit something with how tight his fist was and it would give me a few minutes of freedom.

I slowed down so there was more distance between us before I started booking it to the right. I wove between trees in my direct path with ease and spared a glance behind me. Jack was standing there, confused but when he fully realized what was happening a second later he started sprinting after me. This ignited another feeling in my chest that fueled me to go even faster, the feeling of being chased. Rabbit and wolf once again, predator and prey, and he was gaining on me. I jumped over a clump of tangled roots, pausing when I landed for a mere moment before taking off again. 

Inevitably, I started hearing that growl behind me. It pushed the primal part of me forwards but Jack was faster. He got closer and closer until he leapt and tackled me to the ground. Naturally, I fought back, squirming so I was lying on my back and trying to push him off of me. Of course, I found little purchase in my efforts and while he was attempting to hold me down, I clocked him as hard as I could. I ended up hitting the side of his head and the look he gave me would’ve meant death had I not known him better. Instead, he quickly had my wrists pinned to the forest floor and a leg sideways on mine so I couldn’t move them. He hovered above me, both of us breathing hard from the run and struggle. 

“ **What the fuck are you doing?** ” He asked, panting. The demonic undertone was so clear this time I could hardly tell what he was saying. In fact, his accent poked through a bit too, creating an even weirder voice.

“Trying.” I mouthed while grinning, repeating it until he got the message. 

“You’re fucking insane, you know that?”

His grip on me loosened, and he moved his leg so that he was propping himself up with them. I was still high on the adrenaline and tried to sit up but he was quick to push me back down. 

“No, no, what is it? Do you think this is some game? Do you think this is just some fucking game where no matter what happens you’ll always be shown mercy? It’s not, okay? I could be fucking killed now because they know what I am and how I work. You follow me outside, give me some spiel about how you’re worried about me and then you run? What are you doing? What kind of manipulative little game are you playing where you think you can just tell someone you care about them and then leave? Where you can kiss me and sleep in my bed and then turn around and take off? Every single time, you relax and I let you do things and then you run, or hit me with my car, or hold a knife to my throat. I’m sick and tired of it. Figure out what you’re doing before you start toying with me.”

He got off of me but kept a tight grip on my wrist and pulled me up. He sniffed the air and started walking back the way we’d ran. This wasn’t what I had intended to happen, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen. I tried to take out the phone but he took it from my hands and put it in his own pocket.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses right now,” he said.

It was supposed to be fun, to get his mind off of what happened. It was supposed to be freeing and liberating, to make him feel better, to make me feel better, to make both of us better because living in a murder mansion does things to your head. But now I’d gone and messed everything up again. I was so stupidly impulsive! 

Who knew if Jack would even trust me again. If he had ever trusted me before or just liked the idea of me, the idea of someone caring about him anyways. I didn’t know where to go from here. The main goal was to start a relationship to make sure I survived, right? And of course part of me wanted to do that- faking feelings would obviously make them turn real but I hadn’t thought about it before. I hadn’t thought about the consequences, I’d just been so hellbent on surviving that I was acting irrationally, playing to what I think Jack might want me to do for him. He hadn’t asked me to and it wasn’t an expectation. I shouldn’t have overstepped the boundary of trying to help him when he didn’t want it again. Maybe staying at the house would’ve been the best course of action. 

I just didn’t know what to do. How did I tell him I only wanted to help? How did I tell that to the guy who outright refused to get help, who didn’t think he deserved the help? He had to seek it himself. Which still brought it back to the same question: would he ask for help? Would he look at himself and see that there are obvious issues? The anger, the violence, the testing, all of it. The nightmares, the distrust, the denial that things weren’t okay. 

If he didn’t ask it from me, I was almost one hundred percent sure he wouldn’t ask it from his housemates.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a longer one to make up for the shorter chapter last time. Hope y'all enjoy ^^

A few hours had passed since we’d gotten back to the house. He’d shooed me downstairs to the basement while he and the other killers conversed over what to do. Every now and then I could hear a shout through the door, a few of them from Jack. 

In that time, I’d been mulling over what I was doing. I was forming a relationship with Jack. I was trying to help him but I wasn’t doing it right. I had unintentionally begun forming feelings for Jack as a result of everything I was doing. And I was apparently tripping up Jack too. 

It wasn’t what I had meant to happen. If anything was going to work, I needed to fix my mistakes. But… Surely, this couldn’t  _ all  _ be on me. Jack had done things too. He had bit me, hit me, strangled me, threatened to kill me multiple times. He had kidnapped me, for fucks sake. He consistently refused anything I tried to do. He wasn’t the only one screwing things up.

I took a deep breath.

This would be okay. I would find a way to make everything okay. Maybe I needed to stop planning and scheming and just come forward with everything. It might get me hurt, but it would be the honest answer. If Jack wanted me to be honest and to figure things out, then this was my choice. It might be my final choice, if he decides to kill me after I come clean. But it was the right one, or at least I thought so.

I jumped when the door opened abruptly, startling me out of my thoughts. It slammed shut and Jack appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He glanced over at me sitting on my bed, then went over to his own, burrowing his face into a pillow and sighing. He rolled over and sniffed the air. 

“Are you scared?” He asked, sitting up and looking at me.

I nodded. Yes, I was scared that after this, he might kill me. 

He grunted and leaned back against the wall. I got up and went to his side. I could feel it in my stomach that this wasn’t going to go well, like before I could finish explaining myself he would lunge at me and tear my throat out. 

I mouthed ‘phone’ and he handed it to me, an eyebrow raised. He clearly didn’t think that I was going to explain myself to him. He probably expected me to ask some other question, one that he could provide an easy answer to. But I wasn’t asking a question. 

I stood there for a long time typing. With each minute that passed, Jack became more and more curious as to what the hell I was doing, evident in how occasionally he would try to grab my wrist and twist it so he could see. But I was faster than his sluggish movements and moved before he could take it and see. Finally, I hit play.

“When you kidnapped me, I was out on a walk because I couldn’t sleep. I heard noises in the alley and I went to investigate and you were there and now I’m here. I tried to outrun you, I tried to run you over, I tried to save William. But each time, I failed. I failed, and William died and it would only be a matter of time before I died too. So while we were in the workout room, I came up with a plan. I would try to get you to like me so you wouldn’t kill me. When you had that nightmare, after you took the knife, I started thinking that maybe you were lonely. You aren’t okay and that’s when I really saw you. I thought that if you’re the villain in my story then I’m the hero. I wanted to help you,  _ want _ to help you. That’s all I want to do. I thought eventually it could lead up to you and I forming a relationship or something. It was all so you wouldn’t kill me. I was told that you killed your assistants within weeks regardless and I decided I was going to be different. So I gave up. I could’ve sided with Eve in the store but I didn’t. I just wanted to keep her safe. If it means no one else will die as an assistant then I’ll stay here with you. Even if no one knows it, I'm going to keep at least a few people safe. Kissing you in the store wasn’t the idea. That isn’t how I intended for it to happen and it wasn’t supposed to happen for a while. Because nothing goes according to plan in this house, does it? 

“But it worked, and you calmed down enough to just listen and think rationally and no one got hurt. Every single time, I’ve never been able to save anyone but I saved her! I saved her and that’s all that matters. I hadn’t thought about the consequences in the moment. I didn’t know that it would warrant a meeting with Boss. He asked if I had feelings for you. I said yes. He choked me and told me that he knew what I was doing. He wanted you to figure it out on your own. And he told me that if I stepped out of line again he’d kill me. I was telling the truth though. I do have feelings for you. Maybe not a lot but you kidnapped me and I think that’s reasonable. 

“Out there in the forest earlier, I was trying to get your mind off of things. I know that this is horrible for you and you were so quiet. When you get mad, you growl. But you didn’t. You said it bothered you that I gave up so easily so I thought running would get your mind off of the data breach, that it would help. It wasn’t supposed to go like that. I’m sorry. 

“I’m scared because I don’t know if you’re going to kill me after this. But you said so yourself, I need to think about it and I decided to come clean, regardless of the punishment.”

Jack’s face was scrunched up in thought when the message finally finished. That was it. That was all of it. He looked up at me, face blank now.

“Are you telling the truth?”

I nodded.

He got up and stared me down. “So you manipulated me.”

I nodded.

One hand took his phone, the other wrapped around my throat, not squeezing, but it felt like he could kill me any second. I didn’t even try to get his hand away from me. I let it happen. I deserved it. 

“So let me get this straight: you manipulated me to have feelings for you so that you wouldn’t die? And in the process, you get feelings yourself?” His eyes narrowed accusingly.

Again, I nodded. I would’ve said more if I had the opportunity to but it seemed he was only looking for yes or no answers. 

“You expect me to believe this?” Wait, what? “That you’re just some innocent girl playing the hero despite the fact that you’ve been manipulating me under the guise of helping me? But let me guess, you’re only including that you have feelings too so I’ll give you another chance, let you live a little bit longer,” he growled. No, that wasn’t was I doing, I really- “Fine! Fine, I’ll let you live. I’ll be a little merciful. Let me ask you a couple more questions, do a little experiment. If you lie to me, I will tear you limb from limb, exactly like how I did to her four years ago. Understand?... Good. Now, tell me, how does this make you feel?”

He kissed me, hard and rough, not at all like the soft man I’d seen last night. It was clear how much of a bad mood he was in, first from the nightmare, then the data breach, and now me telling him I had been manipulating him. Of course, he had every right to be angry, but I didn’t see the point in kissing me, especially not  _ now _ . An experiment? To test what? If I liked him? If I was telling the truth about that?

He pulled away and looked at me expectantly. I didn’t know how to give him an answer without the phone- I certainly wasn’t going to mouth it all to him. I had an answer, but it still probably wasn’t one he wanted to hear. I gave him a thumbs down. It didn’t feel nice to be kissed by the demon in front of me, not like this. Not because of this.

“Why? Because you  _ don’t _ actually like me? Because none of it was real, hm?” I could see those needle sharp teeth every time he opened his mouth and part of me thought about him ripping me apart with them.

“Angry,” I mouthed when he was done. I didn’t like this harshness, I could tell it wasn’t him. He was always mad at something, always with the short temper. I knew how much he played it up to hide his true feelings. I knew that the gentle hands I’d felt on my face, my neck, behind my head, in my hair, and resting on my sides were him. That’s who he was on the inside.

He looked taken aback, like that wasn’t the answer he was expecting. He was expecting me to tell him that it was all fake, that I had played him and that he had fallen victim to yet another attack from a potential lover. He wasn’t expecting that I really did like him for him, monster qualities and all, that I wanted to help him to be better, help him to be healthy. 

And I for one wasn’t expecting him to lean forward again, no longer pissed. Or at least, not showing it. His hand almost dropped from my neck, just barely hanging there as his lips softly claimed mine. I breathed in the smell of new books. This was what I liked. 

He pulled away again. He had been soft, but the glare was back. Not as downturned as before, but still prevalent, still enough for me to see it in his slightly furrowed eyebrows, the way his eyes, or eye sockets, really, crinkled up just a bit. I gave him a thumbs up.

“All that talk about telling me to stop amping up my emotions… If… If you’re telling me the truth then it’s because you like who I used to be. But you didn’t know me back then, so it’s ‘cause I showed you.”

He sighed deeply and his hand fell. His “experiment” was over. He had gotten his results. Now I waited anxiously while he stared at the wall above me, thinking. Was he going to spare me? Or kill me? Did he think I was lying? I didn’t think he did, I think he knew I was telling the truth. But it didn’t excuse what I’d done. And yet, compared to what he’d done to me, it was like someone choosing killing the house cat or the fly that got trapped inside. 

“I want to give you another chance, now that I know. But there’s something in my gut telling me that I can’t trust you, that you’ll do exactly what she did. That you’re just playing me to your benefit. And you were, but… I think I can understand why. She did it of her own free will, you did it as a survival tactic,” Jack looked down at me. I couldn’t read the expression on his face. “It  _ does not _ excuse what you did, and I’m really fucking pissed off about it, but fine, you live. I’ll let this one play out. Just don’t forget that if you pull shit like this again, you aren’t getting any more chances.”

I couldn’t help the relieved sigh that escaped me as I relaxed. He wasn’t killing me. He wasn’t killing me. Oh my god, I couldn’t believe he was willing to see where the relationship would go. 

“Now, if that’s done with, there’s something else that’s been on my mind for a while,” he started. I looked up at him, puzzled. What could possibly be on Jack’s mind that he hadn’t just straight up asked me? “What’s with your mutism? It doesn’t seem like it’s selective, so what happened?” He handed me the phone.

He wanted to know about that. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This would show him I trusted him. It was a good thing he had gone to med school- I wasn’t sure how to explain it any way else. “It’s not selective. It’s aphonia. When I was younger, I had papillary thyroid cancer, and I had to have a thyroidectomy to remove the sections that were cancerous. Some of the nerves were damaged during it though- the ones that work the muscles in the larynx- and I lost the ability to speak.”

“Oh.” He didn’t move for a while, presumably processing the information in his head. It had happened so long ago, it was just how I grew up. “Well, of course you found a way to get through it, huh?”

I smiled at him, suddenly aware of how close we were still standing. “You seem considerably less pissed off than I thought you’d be. Not about the mutism thing, but everything else,” I said.

“You mean the data breach? It’s not like I can do anything to change that right now. Or ever, most likely. I can be mad all I want, it won’t fix it. We figured out how to work with what happened, so it’s fine. I’m too tired to be angry anymore today,” he said with a passive shrug. He did look rather exhausted, now that he mentioned it. 

Unsure of what to do next, I stood there, not moving. He just kept staring at me, face blank. It seemed like we were both waiting for the other to make a move, to do something, say something. What to do, what to do… What should someone even do in a situation like this? I didn’t have to think long, because he turned and laid down. Oh, was he going to take a nap? In that case, I’d go back to reading. I pocketed the phone and started towards my own bed.

“Wait.”

I faced Jack once more who was propped up on his elbows now. He bit his lip, and I could feel his gaze go from me to something else then back to me. Was he  _ nervous _ ?

“Would you mind laying with me? Admittedly, it feels nice being next to someone for once.”

Holy. Shit. Of all the things he could’ve said right now, this was the one I hadn’t even considered as a possibility. Jack wanted  _ me _ to be by  _ him _ while he took a nap and he was  _ asking _ for it. It wasn’t an unspoken thing where I just plopped myself down next to him and hoped he didn’t kick me out- he  _ wanted  _ me. 

“What’s with that look? You get what I mean, right? Four years of isolation from people makes you touch-starved, and it feels nice. If you like me and I like you, what’s the problem?” He asked, frowning. I mean, he had a point. I knew it was wrong to willingly sleep by my kidnapper but that hadn’t stopped me in the past. 

I shrugged as a neutral response and crawled over to his other side. He got up, turned off the lights, and laid back down. I was glad the lights were off- I honestly don’t think I could’ve looked him in the eyes right now without dying a little inside. I faced the opposite side from him, but my back just grazed his, meaning he was also on his side. I could feel him tense behind me but he relaxed after sighing. 

It was hard to believe that he was accepting what I had done and was simply rolling with it but I couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome. I didn’t know what was going on in his head right now, maybe his tiredness was keeping him from thinking too much on it. I almost wished it was and that’s why he didn’t kill me. 

His reasoning for sleeping together was so bluntly said, it was actually a little funny. Now that both of our feelings were out in the open, he just accepted it and moved straight to things that couples did. But the physical contact part… Thinking about it now, I did see what he meant. The only times he ever touched me was to lead me somewhere, to punish me, to hold me back, to choke me. It was all inherently violent, and it was easy to see that with that pattern for four years, the soft, affectionate touches that we’d been sharing these past few days was getting to his head. He liked it, he wanted more. That was simply human nature.

\--

I’d been drifting in and out of sleep for a while, and I had just woken up again from movement behind me. Rustling was followed by a quiet growl and I stiffened. Was he having another nightmare? How constant were these? It couldn’t be good for his mental health, reliving  _ something _ traumatic every night.

Maybe if I woke him up before it got bad enough for him to wake up on his own, obviously disturbed, then it could help. I sat up and faced him, gently shaking his side. He was up almost immediately, inhaling sharply. His hand was on my shoulder a moment later, like he was just feeling to see if I was there or not.

“Oh, that was you,” he grunted, voice slurred from drowsiness. He all but fell back onto the pillow, his hand slipping from my shoulder. I copied him a few seconds later, closing my eyes now that he was no longer a possible threat. “Thanks” he muttered, so quiet I almost didn’t hear it. I doubted he would remember this come morning. But then, to my surprise, something else happened. A low rumbling sound, not a growl, more like… a purr? It was very faint but in the dead silence it was easier to hear. I didn’t even know he could do that.  _ Why _ was he doing that? And why now?

\--

Some time after we’d woken up and showered, Jack started working, typing god knows what on his laptop. We’d hardly spoken about the previous day but if I was honest, I’d rather pretend that it didn’t happen at all. The entire day was a mess and even now, I could still catch the tail end of Jack’s bad mood. It hadn’t dissipated overnight which should’ve been expected, but I still couldn’t help but to be cautious. Who knew if he would change his mind and decide it wasn’t worth it to let me keep living. But I had other questions on my mind, ones pertaining to last night.

“Hey Jack,” I began, to get his attention. He looked my way and hummed to let me know I had it. “So you purred last night.”

“Yea?” How was he so nonchalant?

“Well, you’ve never done that before. Mind explaining?” I asked. 

“You know how I growl when I’m angry? It’s like the opposite of that: I ‘purr’ when I’m happy or content,” he explained, doing air quotes.

“You really are a cat,” I typed with a small smirk.

“I try not to do it when I can help it. It’s embarrassing,” he said with a small chuckle. I felt my cheeks heat up- that was actually kind-of cute. 

“Can you do it again?”

“Uh, sure.” Jack paused and then that beautiful sound broke the silence yet again. It started quiet but after a few seconds it was loud enough to hear clearly without having to listen specifically for it. It was weirdly calming, like if I listened to it long enough I could fall asleep to it. He stopped after about a minute, jerking me out of my thoughts. 

“I still think yesterday was weird. It feels like I’m dreaming. You accepted what I did, and all of this is so casual, so normal. I always think ‘it shouldn’t be like this’ because you kidnapped me but then I’m here, in your bed, and it does feel like it should be like this,” I said after several long minutes of silence between us. Jack had gone back to typing, but his fingers froze over the keys when I pressed play. 

“For my own sanity, I’d like to pretend that yesterday didn’t happen at all. No data breach that changes my life, no being reminded of her through you admitting that you manipulated me, no admitting I’m touch starved and crave affection, you know, the usual. It’s easier to say it never happened than go crazy over things about the past I can’t change.”

That probably wasn’t a healthy way of coping with it but nothing came to mind immediately as an alternative so I simply nodded. “I guess that’s fair.”

Jack opened his mouth to say something else and was cut off by his own stomach that growled. He grunted, setting his laptop to the side while he rummaged through jars on the table. He held one up to inspect it and made a face. I couldn’t see what it was but I was glad I couldn’t.

“Shouldn’t organs be refrigerated?” I commented, watching Jack set that jar down and repeat the process with several others. 

“I’ve been meaning to steal a fridge for them for a couple years, just haven’t gotten around to it yet,” he said distractedly. I almost didn’t catch the “ugh, none of these are good” that came from him afterwards.

Oh. That meant we had to go out to get someone’s… Someone was going to die today, my brain harshly reminded me. Fuck normal, this wasn’t normal anymore. It was gross. I knew he couldn’t change his diet but it wasn’t a comfort to the fact that he was going to eat someone. 

He sighed through his nose and looked at me. “Come on, let’s get this over with,” he said, jerking his head to the stairs. 

We were leaving just like that? He pulled on his shoes as I got out of bed, and while I put on my own, he shoveled empty, clean jars into a duffel bag that he seemed to have pulled out of nowhere. He zipped it up, grabbed his mask, and after I quickly swiped my knife from my bed just in case, I followed him upstairs, making sure the door clicked shut behind me. 

“Do you know where Toby is?” Jack asked someone. I turned around to see Jeff lounging on the couch, phone in hand, looking bored. He and Jack looked similar in appearance right now; black pants and shoes on both of them, hoodies, though the difference was that Jack’s was black and Jeff’s was white. If I looked closer I could see the very faint outline of blood splatters that had obviously been bleached. 

“Out with Tim and Brian,” he replied. His eyes flicked from Jack, to me, to the duffel bag slung on Jack’s shoulder, and they lit up. “Guess I’m coming with you, huh? This’ll be exciting.” 

“Oh yea, a real treat,” Jack hissed, heading towards the front door. 

Jeff was coming with us? Right… Boss wanted Jack to have an extra pair of eyes. I hadn’t thought about what it would mean earlier, but now that we actually needed to go out, it made everything ten times worse. I wouldn’t mind if it was Toby since he actually seemed nice, or even Tim and Brian, but Jeff was the last person I’d want to sit in a car with for eight hours. Hell, I’d even take Ben over him.

When we got outside, Jack opened the trunk to the car and started rearranging things to make room for his bag. Jeff, meanwhile, was taking an interest to me. 

“I really don’t know why she has to come with you, but hey, I can keep an eye on her. Maybe we can play a couple games, have some fun while you go off and stuff people’s organs into jars,” he teased Jack, stepping way too close to me for my comfort. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?” He gave me a squeeze on my shoulder, looking everything but sane as he smiled down at me with those piercing blue eyes. 

I didn’t even care if this got me in trouble, I wasn’t standing for it. I pulled out my knife from my pocket and before I could even do anything with it, Jeff yanked that hand forward and pressed his own blade into my neck. He had moved so fast- I didn’t even see him reach for his weapon. He twisted my hand and with a wince, I dropped my knife. This must be why he’s assigned people to kill. He’s so swift- he’s a damn good assassin.

“You gave her a knife? Jacky, I don’t think Boss is gonna like that,” he said, digging his knife in just a little bit more. 

“Get away from my assistant,” Jack growled.

“Yea, yea,” the other whined, taking his knife away from my neck, pocketing it. He watched me as I grabbed my own knife. 

Jack shut the trunk and went around to the driver’s side. Assuming Jeff was going in the passenger seat, I went to the backseat on the driver’s side. I wanted as much distance between that deranged psycho and I as possible. Jack started the car, and we were off.

\--

Jeff had fallen asleep quicker than I ever could which put me at ease. It seemed to do the same for Jack, whose shoulders had dropped with relaxation, though that could’ve also been how peaceful it was with the lo-fi playing from the radio. I didn’t sleep myself, instead opting to look out the window and just let time pass. 

I snapped out of my trance when Jeff woke up, grunting as he sat upright in favour of the slouched position he’d been in before. Squinting through the dark at our surroundings, I noticed how close we were to the city. No, we were already cruising through the streets. Jack most likely had his mask and hood up by now, and when Jeff and I figured this out, we put our hoods up as well. I wondered why Jeff didn’t use a mask. Jack had his, Tim had the white one, Brian had the black one, and Toby had a mouthguard and goggles. Maybe he liked showing off the smile for scare factor. 

Jack pulled to a stop in an alley. I couldn’t tell if it was a new one or one we’d already been in. He got out wordlessly and started creeping towards the edge of the road. I knew his routine by now. Jeff, meanwhile, turned around in his seat to look at me.

“So, Jack obviously likes you. Do you like him though?” His tone was startlingly serious and he didn’t give me any time to respond before continuing. “Because as much as I don’t like him, we need him to be focused. And we definitely don’t need someone playing with his feelings. I wouldn’t want someone fucking around with the things that gave me trauma, and neither does he.”

I fumbled for the phone- Jeff wasn’t playing around with me this time. He wanted answers. He cared, in his own weird way, I supposed. “I like him.” Short and simple. Just that. I didn’t need to spill the fact that I had been manipulating Jack, that was our private matter that never happened. He hummed in response, taking out his phone.

At this point in time, Jack came around the corner holding a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. His neck was slit, eyes wide open. He laid the man down on the ground by the wall and lifted up his mask, cutting open clothes with his scalpel. He brought the man’s arm to his mouth and bit down, jerking his head until the chunk of meat was torn from the limb. Blood spurted out from the new wound, Jack nonchalantly twisting the arm so that none of it got on his clothes. Jeff got out of the car and said a few words to the other who nodded. He walked out of the alley, head down, looking both inconspicuous and a suspect of crime. 

I played with my fingers in the dark, waiting for the deed to be done. I didn’t want to look for too long, didn’t want to be reminded of how little I could do to stop this. Eventually, Jack was finished with his meal, and opened the trunk, taking out the duffel bag. I’d never been more grateful for the silence, how quiet he was while cutting open that man’s stomach to take his organs. If I focused hard enough, I could hear the extremely faint noises of something squelching. I stopped focusing.

The only thing that jerked me out of my thoughts yet again, was the shutting of the trunk. I looked up. Jack had pushed the man all the way to the side of the alley, leaving him face down which, thankfully, did not show the open cavity of his abdomen. I could see the blood though. Jack must’ve cleaned himself up too, since when I caught a glimpse of him coming around the side of the car with his mask still up, I couldn’t see any blood on him. 

Jeff still wasn’t back though. Curious, I crawled out of the car and went to Jack’s side. He was repositioning his mask and I was casually reminded of the fact that I hated the eeriness of the eyes dripping black.

“Where’d he go?” I asked him, making sure to set the volume of the phone at a lower level. Looking past him let me see the man so I tried to keep my eyes on Jack’s face.

“Toby, Brian, and Tim are in the area, so he went to go help them real quick. I don’t know what’s taking him so long though,” he said. 

Oh. So this really was just the city that they terrorized, huh? I wondered absentmindedly while waiting with him if the city was just unlucky or if it had been on purpose. If it had been on purpose… then for what god-forsaken reason would an eldritch monstrosity send killers out?

“It shouldn’t be taking him this long, come on,” he said, motioning for me to follow him with a wave of his hand. He sniffed the air once we left the alley, then turned right. The streets were as empty as they’d been when I was kidnapped, drilling it into my head that it had already been weeks since my capture.

We walked for a while, much longer than we should’ve, turning onto different roads. It gave me an uneasy feeling, like something wasn’t right. More than once, I swore I heard police sirens but then they started getting closer. The hole in my stomach grew when a cop car sped right past us, lights on. Then, I felt a vibration on my stomach. I pulled out the phone and read the notification.

**Toby: 5 minutes get to the car or we’re leaving**

**Toby: cops**

Shit.

I showed the phone to Jack as another cop car flew by. His breath caught in his throat. 

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck we’ve been walking for at least twenty minutes,” he yelled before grabbing my wrist and running. I could barely keep up with him and our hoods fell back with help from a sudden gust of wind. At that exact moment, a third car was driving by. And someone hit the brakes so that the car came to an abrupt stop a bit in front of us, swerving onto the sidewalk so that half of it blocked the pavement. Jack skidded to a stop and I nearly crashed into him. Two officers exited the vehicle, guns raised in front of them.

“Jack Nyras, hands in the air!” One of the cops shouted. Jack ignored them, pulling us into an alley that ended up being a dead end. Of course they chased us in, effectively cornering us. The one on the left called for backup, giving other cops our location.  “Jack Nyras put your hands in the air,” the other one commanded. Both of them looked scared, like the only confidence they had facing Jack was that their guns would surely kill him if they needed to.

Again, he ignored them, grabbing  _ me _ , and pulling me flush against his chest. I felt the cool metal of his scalpel on my neck. “Guns down or I kill her.” The demonic undertone and slight British accent perfectly hid his real voice. I could tell now that he was playing up the undertone to make himself more intimidating and to disguise himself. 

“Let the girl go, hands in the air-”

“ **Guns down or I kill her** ,” Jack repeated, digging the scalpel in enough to draw a sliver of blood. He wouldn’t actually kill me, right? He had to be bluffing, that’s why he was barely breaking skin. 

Instead of doing what Jack said, the cop fired a shot that zipped by our sides. Jack dropped the scalpel as, instinctually, both of us huddled down. The cops took that opportunity to tackle him in an attempt to subdue him. Jack snarled furiously, kicking one cop away as the other grabbed his arm. He threw his mask off and lunged towards the one who had his arm, biting his wrist. The man shrieked and let go. Jack followed suit and started to get up but the other cop bowled him over, fighting to keep his hands down. I was frozen in shock, unable to move, until I watched the cop on top’s gun slip out of his grip. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as I bent down to take it, the cop knocking Jack unconscious with a fierce blow to the side of his head.

“Miss, you’re okay now, you can come with- Miss, put the gun down,” the cop with the gun stammered, pointing it at me. In response, I pointed his buddy’s at him. He was more of a threat than the other cop who was without a weapon that I could see. Both of them were regarding me warily, trying to come up with the right words to reason with me.

Did I go with the cops? Did I let Jack be taken? That was the right thing to do, right? Right? I wasn’t going to shoot the cops to get away, I was going to drop my weapon and rush to safety. I wasn’t going to sacrifice the last chance to get away for Jack’s safety. I wasn’t.

I wasn't. 

…

I wasn’t.

…

I unloaded four bullets into the officer with the gun and three into the one without. They toppled over into growing pools of their own blood. I didn’t look long, setting the gun on the ground to shake Jack frantically. It took a couple of seconds, but finally his touchy self reacted and he shot upright. He looked at my work, then to me, then grabbed his mask. He hastily put it on, toed the gun I’d used to me and grabbed his scalpel and the other gun. The scalpel went in his pocket and as soon as I was up with the gun, he grabbed my free hand and took off running down the streets. 

We weren’t going the same way as we had come, Jack was taking us in a different direction. He pulled me down one alley, and kept taking twists and turns through it. He knew it by memorization, even in the dark. It felt like hours but was probably only ten minutes. I could hear multiple sirens at once, some closer than others which only made us run faster. 

We came out of a final alley to see the start of the forest a couple hundred feet away. We bolted across the open space and wove through the trees. Being chased like this was normal for me, but for Jack, I couldn’t say the same. Once we were deep enough in, he stopped and took his phone from my pocket. I caught my breath as he swiped his thumb across the screen a few times and held it up to his ear, pushing his mask up to breathe.

“We’re out, can you get us? ... No cops over here, turn off the headlights. ... We’ll walk along the road and meet you somewhere in the middle.” With the last word, he hung up, tucking his phone away. He looked at the sky, eyes shut tight like he thanking God, then faced forwards again. “Come on, they’re gonna come get us.”

I followed behind him, still clutching the gun with a death grip. As we walked and I came down from my adrenaline high, the weight of my actions slowly dawned on me. 

I killed someone. Some people. Not one, but two people. Two innocent people were dead because of me. Because I decided to pursue a feeling rather than assured safety. They would never see their families again. I tore them from them. I mercilessly filled their chests with lead and left them there to be discovered by some other unfortunate civilian. I was the one who pulled the trigger of my own free will. No one was threatening me to do it, no one was guiding me against my will. I did it. I was a murderer now. Their blood was on my hands. I was just as bad as the rest of them now.

I was a criminal and I could never do anything to change that. I could never make amends. I could never wash this from my mind.

I sniffed and realized I was crying. And shaking. Either from guilt and anxiety or from the adrenaline, I didn’t know. But Jack did stop and do something I never expected him to do. He started comforting me, as if he knew exactly what this was like. Because he did. He ran and cried under a tree until he fell asleep when he ate part of a dead girl. He pulled me into him, this time without his blade on my skin, holding me tight.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. It’s gonna be fine, you’re okay,” he said softly. It only made me cry harder. It wasn’t okay, I was a fucking murderer now! He continued to whisper soothing nothings though. He wasn’t a mind reader. He didn’t know what was going through my head. He tossed his gun into a bush, gently prying mine from my fingers and tossing it too. He ran his fingers through my hair, and it felt nice, but I still couldn’t stop the waterworks from coming out. 

I could faintly hear tires against the road, moving slow, but there nonetheless. Jack noticed too and started slowly guiding me towards the car, mindful of the fact that I was essentially hiding my face in his hoodie.

I killed someone, I killed someone, I killed someone.

The car stopped beside us and Jack pulled the door open. I looked up for a moment to see Tim in the driver’s seat, Brian in the passenger’s, and Toby and Jeff in the backseat. All of them looked shaken up, just like Jack. Jeff scooted into the middle to make room for us, but I still didn’t see how this would work. Jack got in first, then motioned for me to follow him, maneuvering me so that I was sitting on his lap. It would’ve been weird had I not still been sobbing, so I just hid my face with my hands as the car light winked out. The door shut, and Tim turned us around, then picked up the speed. 

Murderer, murderer, murderer.

“What happened?” Jack asked, starting to rub small circles onto my back. He took off his mask all the way and set it by his feet.

“Walker set up way more security than we had imagined. As soon as Jeff came around, we were all fighting. The cops were on their way by the time we finished the job. If there weren’t so many guards we probably could’a made it out with more time. Our car was further away so Jeff took us to yours. We were almost here when Toby texted you. Had no idea where the fuck you went. Ben cut their communications so they should be scrambling to regroup by now,” Brian explained.

“Yea, where the fuck did you go?” Jeff asked accusingly.

“To look for you. You went so far out, by the time I got your text we wouldn’t have made it to you either way. Two cops recognized us and cornered us in an alley,” Jack replied, giving our end of the story. 

Two cops dead now because of me. 

Instead of holding my hands up anymore, I instead opted to press my face into Jack’s chest. I didn’t even care if other people were watching. I breathed in the smell of new books, attempting to take deeper breaths to calm myself down, to stop the erratic breathing. He just kept rubbing those circles in, letting me do as I pleased. This was the most physical he’d been yet and I quite liked it.

“Boss is gonna be so pissed,” Toby groaned.

“Tell me about it. It took four of us just for security, he’s not gonna give us a break anytime soon,” Tim commented, finally joining in on the discussion. Jeff and Brian voiced their agreement, but I wasn’t paying too much attention anymore. 

The conversation started delving into the details of the target Toby had been assigned to kill and how they’d done it, something that I was more than happy to shut out right now. Inhale, one two three four five six seven eight nine ten, exhale, one two three four five six seven eight nine ten, inhale. I kept doing this until my eyelids got even heavier, the exhaustion from running that much and crying so hard catching up with me. When I stopped counting the seconds in-between and just breathed normally, I really started drifting in and out of consciousness. It was as if my brain was putting up a roadblock, stopping me from thinking about  _ anything _ , lest it make me a sobbing mess again. 

All the while, Jack continued rubbing my back. He didn’t say much, but the up and down of his chest was rhythmic enough for me to start falling asleep. I happily took the opportunity to get away from the car, from the crimes. I took another way of escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also made a tumblr and a discord!! Come hang out, feel free to ask any questions you have!  
> https://squishejs.tumblr.com/  
> https://discord.gg/yrEBfa9


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